Does having oral sex with someone make them your sexual partner?

So anything other than intercourse isn't a sexual act?

I'm surprised how many people don't understand the meaning of this question, it's used a lot in surveys and medical questionnaires

Why would you take even the slimmest of opportunities to readily announce the number of people you've had sex with to the whole internet?

Are we talking about a relationship/situation where you've given AND received.?

To be honest, if you've only given oral sex and not received then I don't think the term "partner" is correct.

If the girl just gives but is not comfortable receiving, it smacks of submission and is as if the girl is so desperate to seek validation from the guy, that she'll do anything even if she doesn't get much physical pleasure out of it.

Yes I'd say so. If the doctor asked you how many sexual partners you'd had for some reason I think they'd mean oral as well as penetrative.

That's where I think you're wrong. Intimacy doesn't depend on enjoying something or having feelings or anything like that. It's about letting someone close to you physically (and emotionally).



Anyway, I was only talking about girls who will give it but won't receive it because it's too intimate. A girl's intimate parts are just as intimate as a guy's intimate parts. It's just that in our society, oral sex on a guy is banalised, it's a standard thing that's depicted in popular media everywhere, whereas oral sex on a girl is still pretty secretive.
A guy could see it as just a pleasurable experience but still that doesn't change anything about the intimacy of it all.
If a guy didn't find it intimate, he wouldn't enjoy the "idea" of it (as opposed to simply the physical aspect of it, which most experts believe isn't really the attraction of oral sex for guys).

So that's what I'm talking about, both acts are just as intimate in a general sense. If a girl simply wants to give it because it's not as intimate, she's no longer taking into account the viewpoint of the guy. It becomes a depersonified sexual favour.

If a girl receives it and is comfortable with it, then there's much more of a balance. Also, in my opinion, not being able to enjoy receiving it (assuming that they will enjoy it at a larger age, which most girls do), is a sign of incomplete sexual maturity ( because the girl has only had superficial, casual sexual encounters with guys she wasn't totally comfortable with) which just strengthens the idea that it's a submissive sexual favour.

I'm trying to step away from my typical male view. Of course, I'm hardly going to be the kind of guy who pushes a girl away because she doesn't want to receive it

I'll find out in a few months when I do my GUM attachment...

Personally, in a non-medical sense, I don't think that people you've not have penetrative sex with count as sexual partners, especially if it was only a one-off (regular "fooling around" arrangements could be considered differently). But there's as many holes in that belief as there are in all the others.

I think that in GUM clinics the number of people you have oral sex with mattered more in the past when there was a lot more scare around transmitting STIs through oral sex. Although you can still catch a bunch of disgusting things through oral sex, they now seem to play down the risk of HIV and the more serious STIs.

SmilerNuts, I reckon it's a lot to do with our society, especially American-influenced culture (I know places where most girls consider oral sex WAY more intimate than sex). In my opinion, when girls don't feel bothered about giving but think that receiving would be too "intimate", they've badly measured the intimacy of the act. It's just so standard, and many girls now even think it's something you're "supposed to do" (unlike receiving) that they don't even get round to questionning if it's too intimate.

I know it's a bit of a disgusting comparison but a child molester could easily convince a kid to do an act that they will become comfortable with but only because they don't understand the situation and don't assess the intimacy of it. There's no "sharing" of the intimacy at all and in my opinion, that's what happens when a girl gives oral sex and believes that receiving is too intimate.

A girl could be thinking "I'm not such a slut because I'm not having sex with this guy I'm JUST giving head" and the guy could be thinking the total opposite, simply because the act is not shared: it's a sexual favour seen totally differently by the two participants.

Just cause someone gives you head you expect that to automatically lead to full sex? Maybe the other person wasn't ready or whatever and oral is as far as they want it to go, you just have to accept and respect that don't you.

Yeah but surely they have a law of indecent exposure in Japan?