Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Is he a flirt

My bf & I have been dating for 4 months. We met through a dating app and talked alot then decided to meet up. He lives 2hrs away and came all the way from his area to meet me in my college which is 2hr20 min journey from his college and i didnt have to travel. I loved him for that so much. He is 19 and i am 16.
My bf did start talking to me less after about 2 months of dating, and i know this is normal because theres excitement in the beginning of the relationship😊

But here's the JEALOUSY BIT
I followed him on instagram as he gave me his details and i have noticed he is liking loads of pictures from girls and comments "🔥🔥" on their insta or "🔥🔥🔥👌". I have posted pictures on instagram and he commented in it with lots of "🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥" which made me happy (on mine ). I don't know his friends and he doesnt know mine.

And after i got instagram and asked for his insta i noticed that he followed a girl who he claimed to know. He told me "she is some slut from my school, everyone knows her around here" because i had an argument with him in message because the comments on the girls pictures were unacceptable because other boys were commenting "come and get that dick" and that kind of stuff. . I felt upset and i did talk that out with him. He never commented on that girls picture though. In that girls insta it said "like and comment to get noticed" and my bf did like her pics. I don't think my bf knew that girl because couple of days later i didn't see that girl in his follow page and when i searched her name i didnt find her.
what could that possibly mean?

When i was upset about him liking that girls pic.. he sent me long message telling me how much he loved me and that he wouldn't trade me for any other girl. Does he really love me? I HAVE SPOKEN TO HIM ABOUT THIS BUT HE SAYS HE LOVES ME AND WOULDN'T TRADE ME AND THAT MY THOUGHTS ARE WRONG.

My bf has posted pics of himself and i think he is trying to seek attention from other girls because he is commenting on other girls pictures with emojis and they are not commenting on his. Ive seen his pictures and the comments, he mostly gets comments from boys and girls are just liking it but not commenting whereas he has commented on theirs (not all but some of their pictures). But ive seen this one comment from a girl, she said "is that bae yeah " should i doubt anything.. he hasn't introduced me to that friend or any of his friends except one girl he told me he was close to but this girl who commented on his insta, i don't know her. I don't know any of his friends only one that he told me about.

I think my bf is also losing interest in me cos he isnt replying like how he used to and he sometimes prefers instagram over me as he checks that first and there were times when he used to say "bae comes first" he changed alot, but when we meet he shows me love and hes so nice to me.

He also stays awake in the night, he sleeps around 5 and im not sure if i should doubt and he wakes up really late in the day. If he loves me then he should take his time out with me. Sometimes i have internet and he stays awake in the night time (he told me that) but he doesnt text me. When me and him meet up, he says he loves me and missed me so much.

My bf's mum doesnt know that he is in relationship with me so doesnt my mum, we planned to tell them later. Me and my bf are both muslims and its against our religion to have bf but we still came together and planned to inform our parents later.

My bf does mention about the future about us getting married and having kids together but now he doesn't really talk abt it only sometimes like almost sometimes.

When i don't text my bf for a day, he tells me that he missed me so much and he was thinking about me.

I don't want to be cheated on. I need help and i don't know what to do, should i even take this seriously. If he is a player then i just want to dump him now cos now i can because i don't think i can later on.

Reply 1

Lucarious30

From what I've read you actually have nothing to worry about, it doesn't sound as if anything will come from the Instagram situation, and if you've expressed how you feel about his comments on the pictures then there's nothing really else you can do. If he's only commenting emojis and things then he's not really doing anything wrong, it sounds as if this is at least one of your first relationships so it's perfectly normal to be this jealous and worried about it loosing it, but honestly, there doesn't sound like much to get jealous of as everything sounds pretty normal so far!

You've also been dating for 2 months now so you should see it as a good thing that he's comfortable to look at his instagram when with you, as you can't expect him to spend any second with you focusing on you. If he's still telling you he loves you and misses you then I'm sure he still does. If he's awake all night and sleeps all day then that just may be a bad habit and I'd try bringing it up to him, but don't try and change him or you'll push him away, you have to let him make the decision.

If you are having any cheating doubts then talk to him about this, don't hide it because you'll come across as distant and he'll think something's wrong.

Good luck and hope this helps!