My ex and I broke up a month ago. It was a confusing break up in the sense that nothing was wrong and my said he'd just been feeling distant from me and he didn't now why.
We remained in touch until a week ago when I decided to cut contact because staying in touch with him was messing with my head. We agreed to not talk to each other for a month, but on the weekend he got back in touch with me saying he felt **** about everything and that he thought that he was depressed (He's unhappy atm due to his job and living at home)
I've been speaking to him as I'm worried about him and he said that he will always love me and that he's never been sure about the break up and he admitted that he knows he will regret it in the future. I wanted to meet up with him after work but he said he wanted to wait until he saw me as he's scared he'll make a move on me.
During our period of no contact I actually felt better about the break up. I don't know whether I should be there and support him for a bit or cut contact for a while because I'm worried it'll start making me upset about everything. Should I cut contact and block him for a month or so to give us both some breathing space?
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Ex is depressed, do I cut contact? watch
- Thread Starter
- 06-06-2016 19:01
- 06-06-2016 19:57
I would still talk to him for the next week or so and talk to him friends about it so he has someone apart from you to talk to, than after that I would just slowly stop talking to him. If he doesn't stop attempting to contact you I'd just tell him exactly how I felt
- 06-06-2016 20:12
Cut him off asap. Seriously you'll thank me later.
This was a BREAK UP. You cannot be his support beam through the break up wtf? its incredibly selfish of him to even expect that from you. That's the whole point of a break up, things didn't work and you cant start disregarding the other person's boundaries and pouring your heart out to them when you're no longer in a relationship.
When people break up they cant start seeking comfort from the person the relationship ended with, or expecting the person who broke up with you to console you, its messed up and will develop into very toxic behaviour (intentional or not).
You'll start to you feel guilty or responsible for your ex's depression which is NOT your responsibility. He needs to get some independence and learn how to move on without shoving his feelings down your throat in an effort to make you feel sorry for him.
Cut contact, it doesn't have to be permanent. A couple of months or longer and agree to try to be friends at a later date when he's settled down emotionally.Last edited by insert-username; 06-06-2016 at 20:14.
- 06-06-2016 20:17
you know you can just be friends with him and wish well for future relationships. he clearly still has feelings for you but doesn't want to upset you
- 06-06-2016 20:47
You broke up. You don't owe him anything nor should you be there for emotional support, as you are no longer together.
- 06-06-2016 21:01
It really depends on what you want. If it doesn't cost you too much and you want to keep in touch, feel free to do so. However, if it costs you too much and you don't want to, my advice would be, don't do it for his sake. Make your decision for yourself first.
He is obviously in a bad place. Unfortunately, he ultimately has to fend for himself - you can't really help him. All you can do is help him to maintain his equilibrium and that is not in a good place, not sustainable. If he is genuinely depressed, he should see a professional, it can't be your job.
Moving on from love is hard. But you have because it wasn't working for you. If you go back to him, make sure it is for you and your needs.