Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Hi all, I did a response to the AQA June 2015 English Language Higher paper for Question 1. Would anyone mind estimating the mark, thanks!

    Firstly, from the article it is clear that child labour is having damning effects on young people and, therefore, child labour needs to be tackled. This is evident from the very first line of the article which states the UN is to announce plans to “eliminate child labour by 2020.” The fact that the UN wants to get rid of child labour immediately tells us that child labour is having a negative impact on the world. Furthermore, it is also evident here of the scale of child labour. The fact that it must be eliminated by 2020 suggests that this is a large issue that cannot be tackled in a matter of months, but, instead, it requires lots of time and effort.

    Secondly, it is also evident within the article that multinational, large scale companies are not doing enough to tackle the issue of child labour. This is evident when Ramesh states that children have been found in “factories supplying companies such as Apple, Samsung and Google.” This almost suggests that companies are more interested in their own needs and goals, such as profits, rather than the safety of young people. It is evident that large companies are not doing enough to tackle the issue as they are endorsing such immoral behaviour.

    Thirdly, it is also clear that child labour needs to be eliminated so that children can receive a good, permanent education. There is an internationally agreed goal that “all children should complete primary school by 2015.” This suggests that education is the number one priority for all countries and nations, rather than child labour as it is “internationally agreed”. Furthermore, it is clear that child labour is taking place on such a large scale (approximately “190 million in 8 years”) that their goal cannot be completed as children often stop school in favour of labour.

    Finally, it is clear that the poorest countries are the biggest sufferers of the child labour crisis. The article states what’s worse “is that in the poorest parts of the world. the [numbers of child workers] will rise.” This immediately makes the reader aware that the biggest effort to eliminate child labour has to take place in these countries which are poorest in order to prevent the numbers from rising, as it’s estimated that “child labourers in sub-Saharan Africa will jump by around 15 million over the next decade”, which needs to be prevented.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Try not to use 'firstly, secondly' etc... - instead try and vary your paragraph starters
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    well done for embedding your quotes
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Trouty)
    Try not to use 'firstly, secondly' etc... - instead try and vary your paragraph starters
    This section isn't assessed on technical accuracy so that is irrelevant?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MersennePrime)
    This section isn't assessed on technical accuracy so that is irrelevant?
    Don't know in that case... just thought I'd mention it... No better myself though tbh
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    You have included very perceptive comments which is a high band 5 - well done! But remember Question 1 does need this much detail and be sure not to go over time but your answer is perfect!
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
    Useful resources

    Make your revision easier

    OMAM

    Ultimate Of Mice And Men Thread

    Plot, context, character analysis and everything in between.

    Notes

    Revision Hub

    All our revision materials in one place

    Love books

    Common grammar and vocabulary problems

    Get your questions asked and answered

    Useful literary websitesStudy help rules and posting guidelines

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.