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Worst timing ever: He just got out of a LTR and is moving away in 3 months, help! Watch

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    Basically met this guy: ONS turned into something a little more.

    Context:
    Once he finishes his university degree in Sept he moves back to England.
    He just recently got out of a LTR in March (4 years)-- I didn't ask why they broke up because I didn't think it would get this far for both of us.

    He is currently travelling throughout Europe for a month too so I can't see him as I'm home.

    I really like the guy. I won't be finished University until another 2 years so if something was to happen I would be travelling back and forth (this isn't a problem for me-- a few plane tickets shouldn't prevent you committing to someone you like, yes it will be hard)

    I said we should have some fun before he travels back (I've commitment and trust issues so I always try to distance myself from guys and avoid commitment). However, I feel ready for a relationship with him.

    Despite starting of as a ONS, I don't think he sees me as a ONS. We went on a day trip, we constantly keep in contact (he's texting me-- double texts even though he's travelling. I try to limit my texts so he can enjoy himself and not worry about replying). He also doesn't seem solely interested in sex what so ever.

    I don't want to appear like a crazy clingy ***** trying to tie him down but I think I would also regret not saying to him how I felt before he left.

    Do you think he seems interested, what has your experience been either getting out of a LTR or developing a LDR. Also, how should I word my interest?

    I'm afraid of getting rejected too because he will be the first time I've ever opened up about my feelings so I'm feeling a little vulnerable.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically met this guy: ONS turned into something a little more.

    Context:
    Once he finishes his university degree in Sept he moves back to England.
    He just recently got out of a LTR in March (4 years)-- I didn't ask why they broke up because I didn't think it would get this far for both of us.

    He is currently travelling throughout Europe for a month too so I can't see him as I'm home.

    I really like the guy. I won't be finished University until another 2 years so if something was to happen I would be travelling back and forth (this isn't a problem for me-- a few plane tickets shouldn't prevent you committing to someone you like, yes it will be hard)

    I said we should have some fun before he travels back (I've commitment and trust issues so I always try to distance myself from guys and avoid commitment). However, I feel ready for a relationship with him.

    Despite starting of as a ONS, I don't think he sees me as a ONS. We went on a day trip, we constantly keep in contact (he's texting me-- double texts even though he's travelling. I try to limit my texts so he can enjoy himself and not worry about replying). He also doesn't seem solely interested in sex what so ever.

    I don't want to appear like a crazy clingy ***** trying to tie him down but I think I would also regret not saying to him how I felt before he left.

    Do you think he seems interested, what has your experience been either getting out of a LTR or developing a LDR. Also, how should I word my interest?

    I'm afraid of getting rejected too because he will be the first time I've ever opened up about my feelings so I'm feeling a little vulnerable.
    Speak to him straight
    What do you have to loose now?
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    (Original post by M14B)
    Speak to him straight
    What do you have to loose now?
    If I told him once he returns he still has 2 months here before leaving. Don't want to ruin any chance of seeing him those remaining months.

    Also, maybe because he recently got out of a LTR and is moving away it kind of answers my questions
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If I told him once he returns he still has 2 months here before leaving. Don't want to ruin any chance of seeing him those remaining months.

    Also, maybe because he recently got out of a LTR and is moving away it kind of answers my questions

    It sounds like you want us to tell you to do nothing; basically defeating the purpose of this thread.
    Just tell him how you feel. I don't think he'd refuse to see you again even if he isn't interested in committing.

    Either way, a chance of something serious is better than 2 months than nothing.
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    So many acronyms. Much confusion.


    Edit:
    Never mind, googled LTR.

    But anyway, why would you not tell him? Why should appearing clingy stop you? Imo it's much better than regretting it later. Worst case scenario: he's not interested, he gets the hell outta the country after a couple months, you get closure and move on.

    Otherwise, he's always going to be a 'what if' in your mind, which is quite sad.
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    (Original post by BristolFresher15)
    It sounds like you want us to tell you to do nothing; basically defeating the purpose of this thread.
    Just tell him how you feel. I don't think he'd refuse to see you again even if he isn't interested in committing.

    Either way, a chance of something serious is better than 2 months than nothing.
    Sorry, I do! I think it's just me putting up a guard and trying to persuade myself out of doing it because I've never done nothing like this.

    Really? I'm not entirely sure how to even approach it? How do you bring it up? Should I wait until he returns next month or should I wait until he's almost leaving?

    I suppose that's true! I did say I would regret it if I didn't say anything... how and when will be the hard part.
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    (Original post by flyingpanda)
    So many acronyms. Much confusion.
    LTR- Long Term Relationship
    LDR- Long Distance Relationship


    Sorry, my post is coming of a little confusing. I'm find it hard to open up my feelings for the first time ever and taking a chance on him.

    Also, I would love to see him and continue seeing him.

    Guess I'm just afraid.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry, I do! I think it's just me putting up a guard and trying to persuade myself out of doing it because I've never done nothing like this.

    Really? I'm not entirely sure how to even approach it? How do you bring it up? Should I wait until he returns next month or should I wait until he's almost leaving?

    I suppose that's true! I did say I would regret it if I didn't say anything... how and when will be the hard part.
    Maybe sooner to him leaving is better. That way you'll both have continued this relationship longer and gotten closer in doing so. No need to fret about how to bring it up, just be natural.
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    (Original post by BristolFresher15)
    Maybe sooner to him leaving is better. That way you'll both have continued this relationship longer and gotten closer in doing so. No need to fret about how to bring it up, just be natural.
    Appreciate the advice man!

    I'll bring it up once he returns home as casually as I can... I wish he was here now so I could say it and prevent me talking myself out of it. However, I promise I will say otherwise I will regret what could have been.
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    Well, this probably isn't going to be too helpful but I'll post my opinion anyway. I think you should see how things go for a short while once he returns. I don't think waiting a couple of weeks will do much harm. Once you are both back in the same town see if he still wants to meet up to do things (other than just sex, tbh). Is his LTR at the same uni? Just curious. Anyway, if he is attentive and still texting then bring up your feelings about moving forward.

    After being in a relationship for 4years he may just want some freedom and a lack of any commitment. But, I know a guy who recently got out of a 4 year relationship and he was ready to move on to another relationship just 3 months after the breakup. The guy didn't know the new girl at all so it wasn't like she was a behind the scenes reason for the original breakup. His new relationship is much more casual but he sees her regularly and doesn't date anyone else. They've been dating now about 6 mos and some of it has been long distance as she was finishing up uni and different uni. So, whether the guy you like is ready to move on into a relationship with you remains to be seen. It will depend on the reason of the breakup and how emotionally ready he was to move on from the previous relationship. It sounds like you have a good thing going..... enjoy your texts and hopefully more time wit him in the future but let his actions guide you as to how much and when you want to open up to him after he returns. Good Luck.
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    You got way to much acronyms
    Had to search each one individually to understand what you were talking about
 
 
 
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