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Sex with a friend?
I'm 18 and a virgin and although have had quite a few bfs haven't slept with any of them because that's all most of them wanted and i just wasn't ready so they broke up with me etc.. anyway i'd really like to go to uni not being a virgin and feel ready for sex now and i was talking about it to a good (male) friend of mine who isn't a virgin but has said if i want to lose it to him then the option is there. I was wondering have any of you lost it to a good friend and not a bf/gf? and what do you think about this situation? i'm worried my friends would judge me as they have quite strong morals (some have been with their bfs for 8 months and aren't planning sex, which is how i would feel if i had a bf yet my longest relationship was 3 months and i doubt i'll have a bf before uni)
thanks
thanks
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It is up to you but personally I wouldn't do it, chances are you will develop feelings and judging by him he will just want you for sex, you got to ask yourself is that how you want your first time to be?
Seriously many girls go to university as virgins, not a bad thing.
Seriously many girls go to university as virgins, not a bad thing.
It's a tough one..and depends a bit. I mean, what do you think about sex, is it something that should be done with two people who love each other, is it something that adds spark to a relationship, or something you dont mind doing, you're single and having fun. (at uni the latter applies to)
Don't do it if you're going to regret it.
I dont think it'd be wise to get a boyfriend before uni and sleep with each other..you might get really attached and then what you gonna do when you go away? you know.. this summer you should maybe stick with being single..
Also, are you sure you're ready to have sex, or do you just not want to go to uni a virgin?
I think it's lovely how your guy friend offered, i had a guy friend offer too..when i was a virgin but i declined lol. That's a whole other story. But, you sure your guy friend doesn't like you in that way?
If losing your virginity is something you just want to get out the way, then i'd say go for it.. forget about what your friends think, they don't have to know?
Don't do it if you're going to regret it.
I dont think it'd be wise to get a boyfriend before uni and sleep with each other..you might get really attached and then what you gonna do when you go away? you know.. this summer you should maybe stick with being single..
Also, are you sure you're ready to have sex, or do you just not want to go to uni a virgin?
I think it's lovely how your guy friend offered, i had a guy friend offer too..when i was a virgin but i declined lol. That's a whole other story. But, you sure your guy friend doesn't like you in that way?
If losing your virginity is something you just want to get out the way, then i'd say go for it.. forget about what your friends think, they don't have to know?
I'm not so sure about the guy asking. I'd have to know him before I could predict his intentions, my initial reaction is he is just a guy who wants to bang you.
Anywho, I think it's pretty stupid not wanting to be a virgin at uni. There will be others in the same position, and it's up to you if you want to lose it through a one night stand or get into a relationship with someone.
Anywho, I think it's pretty stupid not wanting to be a virgin at uni. There will be others in the same position, and it's up to you if you want to lose it through a one night stand or get into a relationship with someone.
So you dont want to go to uni a virgin?
Well what would happen if you did? It seems that youre obviously willing to have sex now so i wonder why do it with a friend and not with a boyfriend?
Its quite funny for a friend to say "If you want to do it...Im here for you"
I see your point of doing it with someone who will repsect you and your decision to loose your virginity...
However there is a reason why we dont all ***** our friends...besides the fact that it is going to create a change in the relationship and it may well not be a positive one.
At the end of the day if it is about loosing it then why not do it in uni?
Well what would happen if you did? It seems that youre obviously willing to have sex now so i wonder why do it with a friend and not with a boyfriend?
Its quite funny for a friend to say "If you want to do it...Im here for you"
I see your point of doing it with someone who will repsect you and your decision to loose your virginity...
However there is a reason why we dont all ***** our friends...besides the fact that it is going to create a change in the relationship and it may well not be a positive one.
At the end of the day if it is about loosing it then why not do it in uni?
Anon as some people I know use this - reasons will be self-evident:
Consider:
Are you already leaning towards yes or no?
What is your attitude to sex?
Do you trust this person?
What is his attitude to sex?
I've been in a similar situation to yourself and had a very positive experience. That however was contingent upon my frame of mind at the time, i.e. that the fling was to just be casual, fun and a way of broadening my experiences.
I'm glad that I had my introduction to sex with a friend, it was pressure free and fun and made me much more confident when going into a relationship afterward.
Don't feel pressured into losing your virginity as the sole reason. If however you want to explore sex, I'd say give it consideration.
As for your friends - do they have to know? I kept my own arrangement from mine, knowing that many would have been judgemental.
This approach would obviously depend on how much you trust the guy to be quiet - perhaps he wouldn't be.
Consider:
Are you already leaning towards yes or no?
What is your attitude to sex?
Do you trust this person?
What is his attitude to sex?
I've been in a similar situation to yourself and had a very positive experience. That however was contingent upon my frame of mind at the time, i.e. that the fling was to just be casual, fun and a way of broadening my experiences.
I'm glad that I had my introduction to sex with a friend, it was pressure free and fun and made me much more confident when going into a relationship afterward.
Don't feel pressured into losing your virginity as the sole reason. If however you want to explore sex, I'd say give it consideration.
As for your friends - do they have to know? I kept my own arrangement from mine, knowing that many would have been judgemental.
This approach would obviously depend on how much you trust the guy to be quiet - perhaps he wouldn't be.
Looks like i'm going to be in a minority here, but why not? Its fun, you'll be able to get all the awkward bits out of the way and you'll be able to get some practice in before you go to uni. As long as you're safe, whats the downside?
You'll get endless responses which say 'Theres nothing wrong with being a virgin' or 'Wait for someone special', but you don't sound as though those are the responses you're looking for. Think hard about what the upsides are and what possible downsides there are, if you want to have sex with him then do it. It'll be a laugh.
You'll get endless responses which say 'Theres nothing wrong with being a virgin' or 'Wait for someone special', but you don't sound as though those are the responses you're looking for. Think hard about what the upsides are and what possible downsides there are, if you want to have sex with him then do it. It'll be a laugh.
If you feel wholly comfortable with having sex with your friend, then I don't see any issue with it. Don't not do it, on the sole basis of your friends judgement.
However, also bear in mind that you might develop feelings for your friend and he could/probably is in it for the sex. But if you feel ready then go ahead.
However, also bear in mind that you might develop feelings for your friend and he could/probably is in it for the sex. But if you feel ready then go ahead.
Anonymous
Anon as some people I know use this - reasons will be self-evident:
Consider:
Are you already leaning towards yes or no?
What is your attitude to sex?
Do you trust this person?
What is his attitude to sex?
I've been in a similar situation to yourself and had a very positive experience. That however was contingent upon my frame of mind at the time, i.e. that the fling was to just be casual, fun and a way of broadening my experiences.
I'm glad that I had my introduction to sex with a friend, it was pressure free and fun and made me much more confident when going into a relationship afterward.
Don't feel pressured into losing your virginity as the sole reason. If however you want to explore sex, I'd say give it consideration.
As for your friends - do they have to know? I kept my own arrangement from mine, knowing that many would have been judgemental.
This approach would obviously depend on how much you trust the guy to be quiet - perhaps he wouldn't be.
Consider:
Are you already leaning towards yes or no?
What is your attitude to sex?
Do you trust this person?
What is his attitude to sex?
I've been in a similar situation to yourself and had a very positive experience. That however was contingent upon my frame of mind at the time, i.e. that the fling was to just be casual, fun and a way of broadening my experiences.
I'm glad that I had my introduction to sex with a friend, it was pressure free and fun and made me much more confident when going into a relationship afterward.
Don't feel pressured into losing your virginity as the sole reason. If however you want to explore sex, I'd say give it consideration.
As for your friends - do they have to know? I kept my own arrangement from mine, knowing that many would have been judgemental.
This approach would obviously depend on how much you trust the guy to be quiet - perhaps he wouldn't be.
At the moment i am leaning towards it, we said that if it happens it wouldn 't until august time to make sure that i've thought it through and am totally ready, he definately doesn't fancy me but he says he finds me attractive, we're good friends and its up to me. The thing is he actually has a gf, he said he wouldn't tell her if it happened (obviously) but i'd feel really awful on her. My attitude towards sex... well i always encourage my friends to wait ages as i feel you should love the person but my friends who are waiting a while is because it's their first bf.. i've had about 7 bfs and have done everything apart from sex and i just feel like it's dragging on and a bit and i may aswell lose it to my friend....
LaurenFah
If you feel wholly comfortable with having sex with your friend, then I don't see any issue with it. Don't not do it, on the sole basis of your friends judgement.
However, also bear in mind that you might develop feelings for your friend and he could/probably is in it for the sex. But if you feel ready then go ahead.
However, also bear in mind that you might develop feelings for your friend and he could/probably is in it for the sex. But if you feel ready then go ahead.
I was thinking about this but we used to fancy eachother and i think we're too good friends to like eachother in that way again, is it really awful i'm considering losing it to someone i don't fancy though?
Obviously at the end it comes down to what it is that you want...
No one says its a rule to have sex at a specific time in your life with a certain person...
The part that i didnt understand was the difference of having sex now and in uni...
If youre ready..do it..but like mentioned by others..youre friends probably in it for the **** while for you it could perhaps turn out to be an emotional first time leading to certain feelings attached to him..
And if hes got a gf then it comes down to your moralles...step into her shoes for a second...
No one says its a rule to have sex at a specific time in your life with a certain person...
The part that i didnt understand was the difference of having sex now and in uni...
If youre ready..do it..but like mentioned by others..youre friends probably in it for the **** while for you it could perhaps turn out to be an emotional first time leading to certain feelings attached to him..
And if hes got a gf then it comes down to your moralles...step into her shoes for a second...
Orion101
Obviously at the end it comes down to what it is that you want...
No one says its a rule to have sex at a specific time in your life with a certain person...
The part that i didnt understand was the difference of having sex now and in uni...
If youre ready..do it..but like mentioned by others..youre friends probably in it for the **** while for you it could perhaps turn out to be an emotional first time leading to certain feelings attached to him..
And if hes got a gf then it comes down to your moralles...step into her shoes for a second...
No one says its a rule to have sex at a specific time in your life with a certain person...
The part that i didnt understand was the difference of having sex now and in uni...
If youre ready..do it..but like mentioned by others..youre friends probably in it for the **** while for you it could perhaps turn out to be an emotional first time leading to certain feelings attached to him..
And if hes got a gf then it comes down to your moralles...step into her shoes for a second...
I guess i want to go to uni being experienced as i'm guessing most guys in uni aren't virgins?
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