Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hey,
    Okay so basically I went out with this boy about 2 years ago. We had flirted at school for ages and it took him a while to build up the courage to ask me out. He did it at school and everyone was watching - it was quite a big deal (in the school social world😂).
    We went out for 3 weeks, and it was going quite well. None of my friends (apart from one) had a boyfriend and I started to not like being fm the odd one out. I felt I HAD to hang out with him, rather than wanting to. I didn't like this coat he wore (sounds stupid, I know) and I really started to think about what everyone else thought and I wanted to be able to be with my friends more. I panicked and broke up with him, and he was hurt. His friends came up to me a lot for a few weeks and explained how he had plans to take me places in the future. He was close to my best friend (completely only in a friendship way - no flirting) and she told me that he was really hurting and that I made him really happy.
    I felt bad at the time but never really regretted what I had done, until about 6 months ago. I have gradually regretted breaking up with him more and more. He had improved personality wise and looks wise. I get really jealous when he flirts with other girls and I really want him back. He has actually stopped me from falling to sleep because I can't stop thinking about him and I have had countless dreams about him.
    At school there has always been a connection between us, before and after we went out.

    There were phases where I'd catch him staring at me, other times we would message constantly for a few days, but at school we never really flirted. I just cannot work out what he thinks of me, but everyone always says how we have a 'connection' - (SO cringey but bare with me😂).
    I had a party a month and a bit ago and he came. There were about 10 of us and we all went out for a meal and then came back to mine. We have a big tent in the back garden, and we all had alcohol and music and snacks. It was a great birthday for me, but one of my best friends started to sit on his knee and flirt with him. I was a bit drunk (everyone was - although I can still remember everything). And I said (don't know why) 'how about you two make out' (omg) - everyone was saying things like that because my best best friend had just got with one of my guy friends. I am 90% sure he said 'shall we' to her. He was very drunk, but this still really upset, although I tried not to show it. throughout the party he kept trying to sit next to me and tak to me and he was staring at me, even though my 'friend' was practically sitting on him and cuddling into him. He then came up to me and was like 'what's the matter' and I said 'nothing!' And he said 'no, I know you. You're trying to look like you're having a good time but somethings bothering you'. This shocked me that he really did know me so well. I just kind of stuffed it off and denied that I was upset. He then said 'I want you to be smiling though, I love it when you smile.'

    Later on in the party he noticed I was cold, and as cringey as this is, he gave me his jacket. I didn't say I was cold, he just put it round me. I then said, 'hey hey why are you giving me this?' ('Not in an aggressive way) and he said 'because you're cold' and I said 'yeh but won't you be cold now' and he said 'yeh but I'd prefer to be cold then let you be cold'.


    He really made me feel special that night, although I won't forget that (I'm pretty sure) he said 'shall we' about kissing my 'friend'. So I was very confused.
    At school before the party and up until today he hasn't really looked me in the eye at school and seems nervous to talk to me. I don't know whether that's cause he likes me, or what. All my guy friends, who are friends with him, talk about how 'we're meant to be' and stuff. And they say they always see him staring at me.

    I sent him messages in the past month and stuff and he's always replied, but I've usually been the one asking the questions. And he never starts a conversation. I sent him a snapchat saying 'hey' (a picture message) half an hour ago and he replied quickly saying 'hi' back.

    I feel like he might like me, but is worried he'll get hurt again.

    Also, I explained exactly how I felt a few days after the party and he said he doesn't feel they same way at the moment, our after our GCSEs we could start things up again. I know he has very strict parents and I think his parents may not want him to have a girlfriend. He has explained he doesn't want a girlfriend (he doesn't want to be with ANYONE right now, not just with me) and I think his parents may not allow him to. I'm really confused but all I know is I like him a lot. I'm a 16 year old girl and he's the same age. I actually think I might love him, but I really don't like saying that unless I'm sure - I've never felt this way about anyone before.

    I don't know what to do. Should I play hard to get? Should I send him lots of messages? We have prom coming up at the end of this month and some other parties so I'll see him then. I don't know what will happen.

    If you managed to read all of this (thank you so so much), could you possibly give me any advice? Do you think he likes me? Do you think I should send him lots of messages? Should I ask to meet up? Shall I flirt with him at prom? Is it all pointless? I'm so confused, and I don't like talking about this kind of stuff to anyone, that's why I've put it on here anominously.
    Thanks so much.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    I don't know what to say. But tbh it was interesting reading the story. Btw the feeling you might have for him might not be love but more so infatuation.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    You my friend are like Romeo and Juliet you were meant for each other and nurture and conserve this bond till the very end.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    You should just go for it, tell him exactly how you feel and if he doesn't feel the same way don't let him waste your time. I thought I was in love but it was just an attraction (eye candy, I suppose) because I'd crushed on someone for so long - you have to make sure it's real and your feelings aren't deceiving you. You have to stay true to yourself and remember that even if he doesn't feel the way he used to feel about you when you went out that you don't NEED anyone to make you happy. He might just be nervous because he's afraid that you'll hurt him again, because he was upset that you broke up with him and he doesn't want to go through those emotions all over again. Stay true to you and be as truthful as possible with him - ideally speak to him in person. Perhaps in the party he said "Shall we?" to that girl because he was off his head, and we all say silly things we don't mean when we're drunk. As you say, everyone was hammered so it must have been the heat of the moment type of thing. Remember not to get too hung up on him if he doesn't feel that way again - you might be in love with him but it might be a strong attraction.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by twhiddy)
    You should just go for it, tell him exactly how you feel and if he doesn't feel the same way don't let him waste your time. I thought I was in love but it was just an attraction (eye candy, I suppose) because I'd crushed on someone for so long - you have to make sure it's real and your feelings aren't deceiving you. You have to stay true to yourself and remember that even if he doesn't feel the way he used to feel about you when you went out that you don't NEED anyone to make you happy. He might just be nervous because he's afraid that you'll hurt him again, because he was upset that you broke up with him and he doesn't want to go through those emotions all over again. Stay true to you and be as truthful as possible with him - ideally speak to him in person. Perhaps in the party he said "Shall we?" to that girl because he was off his head, and we all say silly things we don't mean when we're drunk. As you say, everyone was hammered so it must have been the heat of the moment type of thing. Remember not to get too hung up on him if he doesn't feel that way again - you might be in love with him but it might be a strong attraction.
    Hey! Firstly, thank you so so much for replying to this, and for reading my massive essay haha!
    Basically, I forgot to mention this but about a week before the party I told him that I was really sorry that I hurt him. I didn't exactly say that I wanted to get back together with him but he got the jist and explained that 'we could try again after exams'.
    I agree with you about him maybe being nervous to get back together because he seemed really hurt last time. I just wish I never broke up with him! I've recently found out he has tinder and I sent him a snap chat today and he never replied. I don't want to seem desperate but I want him to understand that I still like him.
    I would prefer, as you mentioned, to speak to him in person but I'm doing GCSEs so in not at school so I basically don't see him, and I won't see him until prom which is at the end of this month. He's coming to mine for pre-prom because we're still quite good friends.. He's even coming as the only one from his friendship group! (This made me think he may still like me).

    He used to get nervous when I spoke to him, and he still does, but recently I've noticed him staring at my best friend. I would just LOVE to get inside his head and know what he's thinking. He likes to act very confident and I feel like he's putting a wall up because he doesn't like showing emotions.

    I don't wanna speak to him seriously over text message, but that would be my only option at the moment.
    This is all messing with my head so much😩😩. I've never like a boy so much! I've been in past relationships and I have always been the one to end it, but I've never regretted it. It's just different with him...

    Yeh, I really hope it's just because he was drunk when he said 'shall we?'...

    I don't know whether I want to love him or not -all I know is that I can't stop thinking about him, and whatever I do I can't help it.
    Also, I am moving schools next year; he only recently found this out. We started messaging a lot and he started putting kisses etc on his texts and then when I told him I was moving he stopped the kisses and became blunt - maybe he just doesn't want a girlfriend at a different school?
    Thank you so so much for your reply and your advice, it has helped me to think differently and more positively about the situation!
    And thank you for saying that I don't need anyone to make me happy, thank you😉!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by harun_farah)
    I don't know what to say. But tbh it was interesting reading the story. Btw the feeling you might have for him might not be love but more so infatuation.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    You my friend are like Romeo and Juliet you were meant for each other and nurture and conserve this bond till the very end.
    Omg I hope we don't die at the end though if we're Romeo and Juliet!😂
    Thank you for your reply, I think I hope I'm not actually in love with him... It's all very confusing😂😁.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey! Firstly, thank you so so much for replying to this, and for reading my massive essay haha!
    Basically, I forgot to mention this but about a week before the party I told him that I was really sorry that I hurt him. I didn't exactly say that I wanted to get back together with him but he got the jist and explained that 'we could try again after exams'.
    I agree with you about him maybe being nervous to get back together because he seemed really hurt last time. I just wish I never broke up with him! I've recently found out he has tinder and I sent him a snap chat today and he never replied. I don't want to seem desperate but I want him to understand that I still like him.
    I would prefer, as you mentioned, to speak to him in person but I'm doing GCSEs so in not at school so I basically don't see him, and I won't see him until prom which is at the end of this month. He's coming to mine for pre-prom because we're still quite good friends.. He's even coming as the only one from his friendship group! (This made me think he may still like me).

    He used to get nervous when I spoke to him, and he still does, but recently I've noticed him staring at my best friend. I would just LOVE to get inside his head and know what he's thinking. He likes to act very confident and I feel like he's putting a wall up because he doesn't like showing emotions.

    I don't wanna speak to him seriously over text message, but that would be my only option at the moment.
    This is all messing with my head so much😩😩. I've never like a boy so much! I've been in past relationships and I have always been the one to end it, but I've never regretted it. It's just different with him...

    Yeh, I really hope it's just because he was drunk when he said 'shall we?'...

    I don't know whether I want to love him or not -all I know is that I can't stop thinking about him, and whatever I do I can't help it.
    Also, I am moving schools next year; he only recently found this out. We started messaging a lot and he started putting kisses etc on his texts and then when I told him I was moving he stopped the kisses and became blunt - maybe he just doesn't want a girlfriend at a different school?
    Thank you so so much for your reply and your advice, it has helped me to think differently and more positively about the situation!
    And thank you for saying that I don't need anyone to make me happy, thank you😉!
    You're welcome! My advice would be to keep trying to drop hints and remember it's not too late (even if you did make the mistake of breaking up with him). Maybe he's staring at your friend because he's confused - his emotions are all jumbled up because he doesn't know how he feels anymore and everything might just be piling in on him. If you do have a strong attraction to him (and the feelings are mutual) then he should be willing to make the effort to date you even if you both go to different schools! I hope everything does work out for you, if it doesn't then remember there will always be other guys and you'll find one that'll make you happier than ever before (so cheesy but I try to think like this ahaha)
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Don't play games just tell him!
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Hmm so sorry that you're in this questionable state, but I hope my reply can help you in some way or another.
    I'm a boy so I generally think like majority of the boys out there, I have not had a Girlfriend, but I've been very close to having one before the chance just blew away.

    Personally, I feel as if he still has feelings attached to you. When most boys go through a break-up I've noticed through my friends that their behaviour or something about them changes. It may not be obvious, but there is may always be an effect on boys when they go through the break-up and as you have stated, You noticed his attitude towards you changed?
    Of course it would as he has just broken up with you, however he gave you his coat. THE ONE SIDE OF AFFECTION.
    If he wasn't going out with you on the sexual terms than I can guarantee has been scared by the break-up as much as you have come to the realisation of being emotionally broken.
    Currently he is going through a phase questioning whether to go back with you or to move on and I suggest (from observing my friends), that you should try and get closer to him, realising the mistake you have made.
    I know for a fact he may go back out with you.
    It all falls upon the question: Are you going to be serious about it this time?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by twhiddy)
    You're welcome! My advice would be to keep trying to drop hints and remember it's not too late (even if you did make the mistake of breaking up with him). Maybe he's staring at your friend because he's confused - his emotions are all jumbled up because he doesn't know how he feels anymore and everything might just be piling in on him. If you do have a strong attraction to him (and the feelings are mutual) then he should be willing to make the effort to date you even if you both go to different schools! I hope everything does work out for you, if it doesn't then remember there will always be other guys and you'll find one that'll make you happier than ever before (so cheesy but I try to think like this ahaha)
    Yes haha good idea! I'll try to keep letting him know I like him, and I'll just be myself. Yeh... At the end of the day if he wouldn't be with me because we're going to go different schools then he can't be very interested!
    Thank you so much, I hope it works out too☺️
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Bulletzone)
    Hmm so sorry that you're in this questionable state, but I hope my reply can help you in some way or another.
    I'm a boy so I generally think like majority of the boys out there, I have not had a Girlfriend, but I've been very close to having one before the chance just blew away.

    Personally, I feel as if he still has feelings attached to you. When most boys go through a break-up I've noticed through my friends that their behaviour or something about them changes. It may not be obvious, but there is may always be an effect on boys when they go through the break-up and as you have stated, You noticed his attitude towards you changed?
    Of course it would as he has just broken up with you, however he gave you his coat. THE ONE SIDE OF AFFECTION.
    If he wasn't going out with you on the sexual terms than I can guarantee has been scared by the break-up as much as you have come to the realisation of being emotionally broken.
    Currently he is going through a phase questioning whether to go back with you or to move on and I suggest (from observing my friends), that you should try and get closer to him, realising the mistake you have made.
    I know for a fact he may go back out with you.
    It all falls upon the question: Are you going to be serious about it this time?
    Firstly, thanks so much for the reply!
    And yeh, I would be serious this time. I mean, I lose sleep thinking about him!
    It's really useful to hear advice from a boys perspective.. You said that you were very close to having a girlfriend.. (I obviously don't know what happened.. But did you want to become her boyfriend again after the - (close phase😂)- ended? Basically, were you still attracted to her even if she hurt you or you had a fall out?
    When I broke up with him, I really tried to be, and I think I was, nice about it. I explained that maybe we should take a break and things, I didn't just dump him out of the blue won't out an explanation.. So even though I know I hurt him, I wasn't trying to? (If that makes sense)

    Also, would you put your coat around a girl that you didn't like in a.. Sexual way? (If you get me😉 )

    And do you find a girl moe attractive when she messages you a lot and comes up to talk to you, or is a bit more hard to get? I want him to think about me like I think about him. And I don't know whether He'll feel like that by me sending him lots of messages etc, or being a bit.. Mysterious.😂

    I've sent him some snapchats here or there and he's replied to a couple, but not the last one.. I don't want to annoy him but I don't want him to forget about me.. I'm so lost😰😰😂...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Don't play games just tell him!
    Thank you for your reply 👍🏼
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly, thanks so much for the reply!
    And yeh, I would be serious this time. I mean, I lose sleep thinking about him!
    It's really useful to hear advice from a boys perspective.. You said that you were very close to having a girlfriend.. (I obviously don't know what happened.. But did you want to become her boyfriend again after the - (close phase😂)- ended? Basically, were you still attracted to her even if she hurt you or you had a fall out?
    When I broke up with him, I really tried to be, and I think I was, nice about it. I explained that maybe we should take a break and things, I didn't just dump him out of the blue won't out an explanation.. So even though I know I hurt him, I wasn't trying to? (If that makes sense)

    Also, would you put your coat around a girl that you didn't like in a.. Sexual way? (If you get me😉 )

    And do you find a girl moe attractive when she messages you a lot and comes up to talk to you, or is a bit more hard to get? I want him to think about me like I think about him. And I don't know whether He'll feel like that by me sending him lots of messages etc, or being a bit.. Mysterious.😂

    I've sent him some snapchats here or there and he's replied to a couple, but not the last one.. I don't want to annoy him but I don't want him to forget about me.. I'm so lost😰😰😂...
    I'm still attracted to her even though we fell and I think he's still attracted to you, after all he did put his coat around you and now that you made me re-think things, that isn't really a typical thing any boy would do.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 12, 2016
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.