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My sister disgusts me and I don't want her in my life anymore. Watch

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    I didn't know where else to post this but I have to get this off my chest.

    My sister is onto baby number 3 - she's 25 and unemployed. She has had about 2 jobs before - both temp work and over 5 years ago. Anyway, she ended up on the dole and so did I. I didn't give up - I went back to college and I'm now 2nd year nursing. She just stayed on benefits and ended up with a guy that no one in our family likes - he's rude and he acts like a child and has been awful to my family yet she stands by him (even after she discovered he cheated).

    None of their kids were planned and they're claiming benefits for themselves plus they get money for the 3 kids. She's going to Tenerife and Glastonbury this year. I can't even afford a weekend trip to London.

    Now normally I'd wind my neck in and mind my own business but I read a story from 'This Morning' (the TV show) today about the woman with 13 kids on benefits and it just reminded me of my sister and made me so disappointed in what she's become - she dropped out of an English degree at 19.

    She keeps sending me pictures of things she's bought and talking about meals out at restaurants/sending me pics of day trips whilst I'm at work or on placement at uni and now she's going on about Tenerife constantly and it's winding me up because she's done nothing to earn any of it.

    She has no idea how much I dislike her and who she's become.

    Should I just keep my mouth shut? And if I do, how do I basically cut her out of my life without being obvious about it because she can be pretty nasty and cause drama? We've grown into completely different people and I just don't want to deal with her anymore. What's even worse is that we're quite close in age/look alike and people in our extended family have an opinion of me based on her (she's older than me) before they get to know me - I'm nothing like her and want to distance myself.

    How do you erase your sister from your life?
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    If you are really repulsed and disgusted by her, then atleast have the guts to tell her, telling us won't solve anything.
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    tell her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I didn't know where else to post this but I have to get this off my chest.

    My sister is onto baby number 3 - she's 25 and unemployed. She has had about 2 jobs before - both temp work and over 5 years ago. Anyway, she ended up on the dole and so did I. I didn't give up - I went back to college and I'm now 2nd year nursing. She just stayed on benefits and ended up with a guy that no one in our family likes - he's rude and he acts like a child and has been awful to my family yet she stands by him (even after she discovered he cheated).

    None of their kids were planned and they're claiming benefits for themselves plus they get money for the 3 kids. She's going to Tenerife and Glastonbury this year. I can't even afford a weekend trip to London.

    Now normally I'd wind my neck in and mind my own business but I read a story from 'This Morning' (the TV show) today about the woman with 13 kids on benefits and it just reminded me of my sister and made me so disappointed in what she's become - she dropped out of an English degree at 19.

    She keeps sending me pictures of things she's bought and talking about meals out at restaurants/sending me pics of day trips whilst I'm at work or on placement at uni and now she's going on about Tenerife constantly and it's winding me up because she's done nothing to earn any of it.

    She has no idea how much I dislike her and who she's become.

    Should I just keep my mouth shut? And if I do, how do I basically cut her out of my life without being obvious about it because she can be pretty nasty and cause drama? We've grown into completely different people and I just don't want to deal with her anymore. What's even worse is that we're quite close in age/look alike and people in our extended family have an opinion of me based on her (she's older than me) before they get to know me - I'm nothing like her and want to distance myself.

    How do you erase your sister from your life?
    You should put this on Reddit, there's a sub-reddit called "offmychest" and you'll get much better responses there than on TSR
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    (Original post by Rhythmical)
    If you are really repulsed and disgusted by her, then atleast have the guts to tell her, telling us won't solve anything.
    I don't think it would benefit (ha, mind the pun) either of us if I told her. I just want to distance myself. I'm not asking people to solve anything. I'm asking for advice on how to handle how I feel without blurting out something that I might end up regretting and see the whole situation tear my family into even smaller pieces.

    But ta.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think it would benefit (ha, mind the pun) either of us if I told her. I just want to distance myself. I'm not asking people to solve anything. I'm asking for advice on how to handle how I feel without blurting out something that I might end up regretting and see the whole situation tear my family into even smaller pieces.

    But ta.
    Honestly I think by not telling her, things will get worse, honesty is the best policy and by keeping it inside, you could find yourself accidentally blurting it out during the wrong moment in time. If you want to handle the situation without saying anything, nothing will be resolved.
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    You're a second year nursing student, one more year till you will be fully qualified... the grass is always greener on the other side
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I didn't know where else to post this but I have to get this off my chest

    How do you erase your sister from your life?
    OP, I know this is easier said than done but whenever you sense that your sister is trying to wind you up with the pictures of her trips and life- keep your head up, be supportive however continue being focus, independently working hard to establish your own life. Your on the right track. Though you're not seeing the rewards at the moment you certainly will in the future. Having a degree and job allows more freedom. Sooner or later, after you've received your nursing degree- got your desire job and career you'll see how everything was certainly worth it. Though your sister may seem to be having the time of her life, she's very limited in terms of freedom as having children, plus being on benefits without any job will only take someone so far. The feeling your feeling now, use it to motivate you to succeed. In this way, you won't only succeed but also you'll prove to your sister you yourself independently established your life, went on trips and did even more. I don't think you should erase her from your life. This isn't the solution, in fact keep her in your life, be there for your family. Her being in your life will also allow her to witness your success and growth. In the end, it will become apparent who is doing well and who isn't.
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    And what are we supposed to do about it ?
 
 
 
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