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    So, after an intense argument with my dad and literally 2 hours of being called names, getting told I'm not worth it and that I'm never going to go uni, he decided that it was a smart idea to rip my student finance papers (the ones that came by post & the one you print) he keeps telling me I don't deserve an education and its really getting to me. I'm so depressed and he doesn't understand. So what happens now? what do I do?
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    My dad is equally as abusive, in other respects. BANG HIM OUT. bye.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So, after an intense argument with my dad and literally 2 hours of being called names, getting told I'm not worth it and that I'm never going to go uni, he decided that it was a smart idea to rip my student finance papers (the ones that came by post & the one you print) he keeps telling me I don't deserve an education and its really getting to me. I'm so depressed and he doesn't understand. So what happens now? what do I do?
    Any reason to justify his behaviour?

    Call student finance and request new copy, if that's even possible.

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    **** him, it's your life, your future, your education. Did he go to Uni?
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    (Original post by The Roast)
    **** him, it's your life, your future, your education. Did he go to Uni?
    Yes, he did. It's my life but I have nowhere else to go.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes, he did. It's my life but I have nowhere else to go.
    Move out, get a place on the campus accommodation?
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    (Original post by The Roast)
    Move out, get a place on the campus accommodation?
    W/ no student finance?
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    You can re- apply online. Do you need parents approval? Sorry I dont know your age & situation.Perhaps ask in your college/school the carreer advisor how to handle this?
    Call student finance and request new copy, if that's even possible.


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's going to sound proper cliche but my dad is just that guy who thinks violence is the only way forward, I'm having serious thoughts about leaving home or even suicide because of this verbal abuse. It's been happening for years
    I assume you're starting studies this September. Are you planning to live in student halls? If yes, try to ignore him for the time being.

    Change correspondence address if you can.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So, after an intense argument with my dad and literally 2 hours of being called names, getting told I'm not worth it and that I'm never going to go uni, he decided that it was a smart idea to rip my student finance papers (the ones that came by post & the one you print) he keeps telling me I don't deserve an education and its really getting to me. I'm so depressed and he doesn't understand. So what happens now? what do I do?
    Edit the application online to the lowest loan amount (they don't need your parents financial information if you ask for the lowest) then print off a copy. Sign, date, send. Simples .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    W/ no student finance?
    Re-apply for it.

    Call them up and tell them you never received it or something happened to it.
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    Which papers are you talking about? Are you talking about the payment schedule thing? You should be able to see it on your online account and view the correspondence and print yourself. Dunno.
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    You dont need the papers for anything?
    unless its something you're supposed to sign and send back to complete the application? in which case just print out another copy and sign it yourself and post it back. Otherwise the letters you get from SF dont have anything to do with your actual student finance status, your dad tearing up the letters doesnt magically cancel your student finance application if it's already been set up and approved for the year.

    I did my student finance last year and literally didn't even read or look at any letters i got from them (they were sent to my mums home address anyway where i dont even live). All your correspondence with SF is also stored digitally in your student finance account. You just log in and go to 'correspondence' to see all the letters you've been sent.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    W/ no student finance?
    Yea I was right look mate:

    "How to find and print your Student Finance Declaration Form (Online Declaration)If you applied for your funding online and your application has been approved, you will have been sent a Student Finance Entitlement letter with a Declaration Form attached.You need to sign and return this declaration form to the Student Loans Company. If you don’t do this, there will be a delay in receiving any maintenance loans and grants you may be entitled to.If you did not return the declaration and have misplaced the original, you can log on to your student account and reprint the Declaration Form.

    You need to:Follow steps 1 and 2 above to log in to your account Select your 2014/15 Student Finance Entitlement letter in ‘View Correspondence’ Print the final 2 pages Sign the form immediately and return to the Student Loans Company.

    The address is printed under the barcode on the top right hand side of the front page."


    So your dad is a ****ing prick but don't tell him you did this
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    (Original post by The Roast)
    Re-apply for it.

    Call them up and tell them you never received it or something happened to it.
    Nah. That's an option but probably if what I suggested doesn't work, though it should. if he's received it in the post then they've processed it and he should be able to see this on his personal records. And print it. Even if there's oddly no print option, then screenshot and print lol
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    As said above just contact them and explain the situation. If they have to send you documents again, thensee if you can have them sent elsewhere like your local post office, lest he rip them up again. You should also get advice on what further measures you can take if he refuses to co-operate. Is you mum around or is she able to offer support? has your entitlement already been worked out?
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    Wait.... I've got to be honest that there seems to be a chunk of information missing here. One would assume that going to uni has been discussed previously. So.... why the violent outburst? What lead him to saying 'you're not worth it...."
    I think it is important to look at all sides of this story. What part did you play in this argument? It is hard to believe that he all of a sudden started calling you names and ripping up your finance paper.

    Now, that being said, you definitely didn't deserve that kind of treatment regardless of what lead up to his out burst. Is there someone who can mediate for you to so that you can discuss this without emotions getting involved??? Clearly it is best to achieve a university degree if at all possible. He knows that if he has a university degree.

    If you have done anything to cause this outburst for example: not revising for A Levels, slacking off in your school work, drinking and being abusive yourself, etc then it may be time to suck it up and go talk to him and change your ways to prove to him you are committed to going to uni for the right reasons and not just going to party or whatever (you know what I mean). BUT, if you are a good student, you try hard, you're respectful (which you should be if it is his money even paying for some of the expenses) and making good grades and have decent predicted scores on your A Levels and he's STILL like that then you need to go find outside help.

    You spoke of suicide and you need to come up with a better plan!!!! That is NOT or ever will be the right answer! There are abusive people in this world and sadly for father may be one of those people. Do you have a counselor at school, or anyone else that you can have an honest discussion with about your father and hopefully advocate for you? Or find a mental health therapist who can listen to you and suggest helpful ways of dealing with your father.

    Sorry this is long but I suggest you:
    * Take an objective look at yourself and see if you have contributed to why your father had that outburst. Make things right with him if you can.
    * See if you can find someone who can be a mediator between you and your father so you can talk w/out emotions flaring
    * Get help from a school counselor
    * Suicide is NOT the answer and there are definitely mental heath therapist you can help you and give you much needed advice.

    Do whatever you need to get to uni. Good Luck to you.
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    You can print the documents again. If it's the declaration or indeed the application form, you can get these on the .gov.uk website. Everything else, as mentioned, is on your student finance account.

    You will get something - there's a non-income assessed chunk and the tuition fees are non-income assessed too.
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    (Original post by Hopefully1)
    Wait.... I've got to be honest that there seems to be a chunk of information missing here. One would assume that going to uni has been discussed previously. So.... why the violent outburst? What lead him to saying 'you're not worth it...."
    I think it is important to look at all sides of this story. What part did you play in this argument? It is hard to believe that he all of a sudden started calling you names and ripping up your finance paper.

    Now, that being said, you definitely didn't deserve that kind of treatment regardless of what lead up to his out burst. Is there someone who can mediate for you to so that you can discuss this without emotions getting involved??? Clearly it is best to achieve a university degree if at all possible. He knows that if he has a university degree.

    If you have done anything to cause this outburst for example: not revising for A Levels, slacking off in your school work, drinking and being abusive yourself, etc then it may be time to suck it up and go talk to him and change your ways to prove to him you are committed to going to uni for the right reasons and not just going to party or whatever (you know what I mean). BUT, if you are a good student, you try hard, you're respectful (which you should be if it is his money even paying for some of the expenses) and making good grades and have decent predicted scores on your A Levels and he's STILL like that then you need to go find outside help.

    You spoke of suicide and you need to come up with a better plan!!!! That is NOT or ever will be the right answer! There are abusive people in this world and sadly for father may be one of those people. Do you have a counselor at school, or anyone else that you can have an honest discussion with about your father and hopefully advocate for you? Or find a mental health therapist who can listen to you and suggest helpful ways of dealing with your father.

    Sorry this is long but I suggest you:
    * Take an objective look at yourself and see if you have contributed to why your father had that outburst. Make things right with him if you can.
    * See if you can find someone who can be a mediator between you and your father so you can talk w/out emotions flaring
    * Get help from a school counselor
    * Suicide is NOT the answer and there are definitely mental heath therapist you can help you and give you much needed advice.

    Do whatever you need to get to uni. Good Luck to you.
    What sparked the argument was an argument I was having with my brother, as a muslim I was fasting and 2 mins before I broke my fast, I asked my brother for a cup of water while I washed my hands and face, then this guy starts telling me just because I'm fasting it doesn't mean i can boss people around (I wasn't bossing him, I politely asked him) Then my dad gets involved and tells me I'll never grow up etc. leading to a bigger argument and when someone shouts at me, I shout back out of my own control and he knows this but this time it led to a bigger argument and the result is my SF being torn.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What sparked the argument was an argument I was having with my brother, as a muslim I was fasting and 2 mins before I broke my fast, I asked my brother for a cup of water while I washed my hands and face, then this guy starts telling me just because I'm fasting it doesn't mean i can boss people around (I wasn't bossing him, I politely asked him) Then my dad gets involved and tells me I'll never grow up etc. leading to a bigger argument and when someone shouts at me, I shout back out of my own control and he knows this but this time it led to a bigger argument and the result is my SF being torn.
    If it's just the declaration then it's fine. Just reprint it and send it. He can't physically tear your student finance. It's just a copy of the form.
 
 
 
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