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Help! First love breakup advice needed! Watch

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    Me and my now ex were together for a year and 3 months, I'm 18 and shes 15 but turns 16 next month. The relationship went ok with the exception of her cheating on me (kissing another boy and flirting heavily with 2 others) at a week camp she went to. After that i lost trust and it sort of went downhill from there but also didn't at the same time because she actually changed her ways but i used the excuse of not having trust to basically control her which is a really *****y thing to do i know.
    We broke up because i started talking to a girl as a friend and my ex didn't like that at all and kept saying she was going to ruin us and take me away. Eventually i told this girl some pretty personal things about myself which I'm an idiot for i know, but this new girl that i had no interest in didn't like me talking to my ex who i was with at the time, and i thought my ex wanted to talk less anyway because we saw each other like 24/7 and facetimed every night. I wasn't paying much attention to my girlfriend which i wish i did now and i would of but this new girl kept moaning like hell whenever i didn't give her attention or spoke to amy... I'm the sort of person thats too nice btw. This new girl ended up black mailing me into breaking up with my ex, threatening to post all my secrets and personal things i told her on Facebook and all her social media and she was dead serious. I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend because some of the things i told her were really personal and i could not let her tell everyone. It was the worst thing in my life i could not get over it and then to make it worse she made me block my ex on everything and made me prove it. I only just got rid of her last Sunday and ever since then i've apologised a lot to my ex and explained everything about what happened and she doesn't want to get back ever.

    It was my first love me and my ex, for both of us, i still love her like i did at the start and feel like i've really come on i ways of not being an idiot to here and shes improved herself since last year too. We've broken up 3 times now.
    Now shes talking to another boy, they started talking as soon as we broke up and i know this because i had to go on her Facebook because she always logged in on my laptop. I had to go on that to log out of it and saw that they were talking because I'm nosy, and they were already sending 2 lines of kisses...
    Now they're sending even more kisses and he's calling her babe and beautiful etc, as well as saying 'love you' 'love you too' 😐 One of her friends saw her texting all this and told me. She says she just wants him as a friend but then she also said that they could basically get together in a month or two because they're already texting like they are.
    I want her back and she knows this, she knows I'm struggling and i admit i've pleaded with her to come back, i sent all these paragraphs too her but none worked. She says she never wants us again and shes lost of her love for me even though we only broke up 2 weeks ago... She told me she doesn't want to be together last time we broke up but we eventually got back together, but this time it seems like she really means it but i also think she isn't sure at the same time. Her mum also told her to block me on everything and to not see me at all, she told me, me and my ex still text each other but its not nice, its usually us arguing about this boy shes talking to or me saying how i want her back. Sometimes we have a little laugh but its like shes trying so hard to not be nice to me. I kept trying to talk to her a couple days ago and she got really angry at me and told me to just go away.

    How can i get her back? And will the 1 month no contact work? I would do the 1 month no contact thing but i'm scared she'll forget about me and get with that new boy shes talking to. What do i do to get her back? I know she still loves me.

    Sorry for the length of this!

    All
    Responses appreciated, i will reply!



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    Do not get her back. Focus on your own self especially your career. You don't want to be unemployed for an extended period of time because of this
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    One sentence love will find a way. Give her some space as she is slightly Younger than you (I'm not against it), so perhaps she needs to re-consider things.
    I've been in a situation like that which has led me to stay single for life
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    So what you are saying is that you manipulated and controlled her, ignored her to chat to some new girl, dumped her, invaded her privacy by snooping her facebook and you want her to take you back?

    I think your bridges are burnt mate and you're best of moving on. Perhaps try to find someone closer to your own age next time.
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    As optimistic as I like to be about things, this relationship seems doomed to fail.
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    Forget her and start new?
    I mean things are pretty screwed up with your relationship at the moment. You cant really fix those types , had something similar but worse happen between me and trust me once you ruin someone's trust in you, there is nothing you can do to get it back. Your only 18 you'll find plenty of people. And if her mum doesn't want her talking to you that should be very clear to forget about her. She's probably moved on from you by now.
    It's time for you to move on now.
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    You are 18 and have your whole life ahead of you! Lots of new experiences and lots of new people to meet. Your first love and first hear break is always the most hurtful and it sounds like you've hurt each other a lot! As optimistic as I am, I think you should just leave it right there as you will not make it work and even if she does come back to you.. You won't be together for the rest of your lives! You're just clinging on until the next break up when it will be even worse. Love hurts and that's the truth. Getting over someone you were in love with is the hardest thing ever to do, especially first love.

    My advice is to try and keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy, focus on your own success, exams/assignments, uni if you are going and just try and be the best version of yourself. Why not join the gym if you don't already go and build yourself up into the best version of yourself. One thing I definitely wouldn't do is go on the rebound though, this an seriously hurt someone else's feelings and will leave you confused about your own feelings. Just get over your ex and do you. If you so happen to meet someone along the way who shows an interest in you and who you like then go for it! Just do not get back with your ex as it is destined for more hurt and pain no matter how much you think she has changed. I wish you the best of luck for the future and getting over her but I know you can do it and you will feel amazing when you do.


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    (Original post by tobyisaac)
    Me and my now ex were together for a year and 3 months, I'm 18 and shes 15 but turns 16 next month. The relationship went ok with the exception of her cheating on me (kissing another boy and flirting heavily with 2 others) at a week camp she went to. After that i lost trust and it sort of went downhill from there but also didn't at the same time because she actually changed her ways but i used the excuse of not having trust to basically control her which is a really *****y thing to do i know.
    We broke up because i started talking to a girl as a friend and my ex didn't like that at all and kept saying she was going to ruin us and take me away. Eventually i told this girl some pretty personal things about myself which I'm an idiot for i know, but this new girl that i had no interest in didn't like me talking to my ex who i was with at the time, and i thought my ex wanted to talk less anyway because we saw each other like 24/7 and facetimed every night. I wasn't paying much attention to my girlfriend which i wish i did now and i would of but this new girl kept moaning like hell whenever i didn't give her attention or spoke to amy... I'm the sort of person thats too nice btw. This new girl ended up black mailing me into breaking up with my ex, threatening to post all my secrets and personal things i told her on Facebook and all her social media and she was dead serious. I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend because some of the things i told her were really personal and i could not let her tell everyone. It was the worst thing in my life i could not get over it and then to make it worse she made me block my ex on everything and made me prove it. I only just got rid of her last Sunday and ever since then i've apologised a lot to my ex and explained everything about what happened and she doesn't want to get back ever.

    It was my first love me and my ex, for both of us, i still love her like i did at the start and feel like i've really come on i ways of not being an idiot to here and shes improved herself since last year too. We've broken up 3 times now.
    Now shes talking to another boy, they started talking as soon as we broke up and i know this because i had to go on her Facebook because she always logged in on my laptop. I had to go on that to log out of it and saw that they were talking because I'm nosy, and they were already sending 2 lines of kisses...
    Now they're sending even more kisses and he's calling her babe and beautiful etc, as well as saying 'love you' 'love you too' 😐 One of her friends saw her texting all this and told me. She says she just wants him as a friend but then she also said that they could basically get together in a month or two because they're already texting like they are.
    I want her back and she knows this, she knows I'm struggling and i admit i've pleaded with her to come back, i sent all these paragraphs too her but none worked. She says she never wants us again and shes lost of her love for me even though we only broke up 2 weeks ago... She told me she doesn't want to be together last time we broke up but we eventually got back together, but this time it seems like she really means it but i also think she isn't sure at the same time. Her mum also told her to block me on everything and to not see me at all, she told me, me and my ex still text each other but its not nice, its usually us arguing about this boy shes talking to or me saying how i want her back. Sometimes we have a little laugh but its like shes trying so hard to not be nice to me. I kept trying to talk to her a couple days ago and she got really angry at me and told me to just go away.

    How can i get her back? And will the 1 month no contact work? I would do the 1 month no contact thing but i'm scared she'll forget about me and get with that new boy shes talking to. What do i do to get her back? I know she still loves me.

    Sorry for the length of this!

    All
    Responses appreciated, i will reply!



    Posted from TSR Mobile
    It's none of my business but she's a bit young, immature, you should've seen this come a mile away. Don't get back together, focus on yourself, go out with your friends, I know you were in love but you can do better mate
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    You'll find someone better, you're only 18!
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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    Do not get her back. Focus on your own self especially your career. You don't want to be unemployed for an extended period of time because of this
    So true, thank you for the response!
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    (Original post by Bulletzone)
    One sentence love will find a way. Give her some space as she is slightly Younger than you (I'm not against it), so perhaps she needs to re-consider things.
    I've been in a situation like that which has led me to stay single for life
    I hope it does! and i have been trying to give her space but its like an addiction to contact her... its hard, thanks for the response!
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    (Original post by articassassin2)
    Forget her and start new?
    I mean things are pretty screwed up with your relationship at the moment. You cant really fix those types , had something similar but worse happen between me and trust me once you ruin someone's trust in you, there is nothing you can do to get it back. Your only 18 you'll find plenty of people. And if her mum doesn't want her talking to you that should be very clear to forget about her. She's probably moved on from you by now.
    It's time for you to move on now.
    Yeah... i hope i find someone better in time. Thanks for the post!
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    (Original post by Sapz_9)
    You are 18 and have your whole life ahead of you! Lots of new experiences and lots of new people to meet. Your first love and first hear break is always the most hurtful and it sounds like you've hurt each other a lot! As optimistic as I am, I think you should just leave it right there as you will not make it work and even if she does come back to you.. You won't be together for the rest of your lives! You're just clinging on until the next break up when it will be even worse. Love hurts and that's the truth. Getting over someone you were in love with is the hardest thing ever to do, especially first love.

    My advice is to try and keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy, focus on your own success, exams/assignments, uni if you are going and just try and be the best version of yourself. Why not join the gym if you don't already go and build yourself up into the best version of yourself. One thing I definitely wouldn't do is go on the rebound though, this an seriously hurt someone else's feelings and will leave you confused about your own feelings. Just get over your ex and do you. If you so happen to meet someone along the way who shows an interest in you and who you like then go for it! Just do not get back with your ex as it is destined for more hurt and pain no matter how much you think she has changed. I wish you the best of luck for the future and getting over her but I know you can do it and you will feel amazing when you do.


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    Thank you so much for the advice! Its really hard at the moment, i can't stop myself from contacting her throughout the day but i'm trying to stop myself. As we live very close by its hard to forget her as everywhere around us we made memories... I wanted me and her to stay friends as theres not really anyway to get away from her because of where we live, but i don't think that would be smart for lots of reasons... Thanks for the great response!
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    (Original post by CON5P1RACY K1D)
    It's none of my business but she's a bit young, immature, you should've seen this come a mile away. Don't get back together, focus on yourself, go out with your friends, I know you were in love but you can do better mate
    I know, i will try and hopefully i can! thanks!
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    What you doing going out with a 15 year old! You could get locked up and called a peado.
    Find someone that isn't underage and breaking up 3 times is all the sign you need to see it won't ever work out between you both.
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    Cut contact and don't accept being "just friends" - the first step.

    If she's still interested you, or in other words has 51%+ attraction, she'll realise that she'll never hear from you again and if she doesn't like that she'll get in touch.

    I would say 70% of my ex girlfriends did this... most of the time after I ended it, but other times they did.
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    3 times split up then got together? Sounds ****ing crazy, now you want a 4th reunion! She cheated, flirts, are you a man or a pussy?. Btw 18 with 15?? Jesus....

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    (Original post by SMEGGGY)
    3 times split up then got together? Sounds ****ing crazy, now you want a 4th reunion! She cheated, flirts, are you a man or a pussy?. Btw 18 with 15?? Jesus....

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    Him and Adam Johnson can be friends in jail.
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    don't do anything stupid or you'll end up like this
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGFgeNu-9X0
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    I was watching a series a few weeks back about first love (Reply 1997) and it said something like the reason why most of the time first loves dont work out is because of the gap in maturity. (If you are mature and she isnt then it will never work out, hence she was flirting around, maybe after time, just maybe she will see what she did wrong and talk to you but dont rest your hopes on that.) Just forget about her and move on youve got plenty of years to fall in love again and there will probably be someone better.

    Those memories of her, look at them as positive parts of your life, the places where you shared memories just smile at what it was like and move on. And just a warning never intrude on a girls private facebook life its not nice tbh.

    In the end just so stuff that makes you happy. Be positive and have a positive view of life
 
 
 
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