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What would cause someone to rarely ask for help/ask people for favours Watch

    • Thread Starter

    I have an amazing trainee teacher at the college I work at. She's funny, extroverted, humble, forward-thinking and works hard to a high standard. She fits in well at the college and has made friends with staff, some of whom she sees outside of work. I've been so impressed I've offered her a job as a teacher when she graduates in July.

    There's been one issue though and it's bothering her supervisor. She is not open to receiving support. If she is stuck on something she will try and work out how to do it herself for days before asking for advice. She is supposed to ask an experienced member of staff to come along to important meetings if she feels she needs help but she never even lets anyone know what she's up to half the time. If she gets really stuck she will ask for help and do so appropriately. She usually then picks things up quickly. She has made a close friend in the school and will ask him if she ever needs help and not her allocated supervisor. But essentially she works without any supervision as she practically never asks for advice or support.

    The things is, her work is extremely good, she is able to effortlessly complete tasks independently that others would struggle with. But sometimes she doesnt 100% know what she is doing.

    She is aware she is too independent and admits she doesn't do well as a student as she can't be bothered letting people know what she's up to and enjoys the challenge Of working things out for herself. She also said she knows people are busy so doesn't want to disrupt people unless she genuinely stuck.

    We are not fully convinced. I think it's an element of laziness that if she struggles with something she can't be bothered to find out how to do it. Or maybe pride?

    What could be some reasons why someone would choose not to be open to support from friendly and supportive staff and make life easier for themselves? Would you see this as a major issue?

    shyness / stubbornness /?
    • Very Important Poster

    Very Important Poster
    Some people are independent and she may see it as a weakness. In her assessment you need to address the issue with her, remind her that she is in a team, she doesnt know everything and the smart move is to learn in the most efficient way by asking if it is the better option. For the moment her way is working. I cnat see how it would be laziness as she is still getting the results?


    Honestly i don't like to ask people for help, since i don't like to owe them anything.. this is mainly due to me helping people so they owe me later on. ( im not thinking everytime i help someone they owe me, but rather I've helped them and expect the same one day, though i never ask for help, so its kind of a paradox ) . I also don't like to be a burden or seem stupid

    Even if i really need something/ need to know something, i pretty much refuse to ask for help. I would rather do something wrong/ a longer harder way, than ask for help. I do think its a major fault since i do need help, sometime ... but can't change that really.

    It is very simple, pride.

    I have the exact same issue.
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