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Why is no-one attracted to me??
Why???
I'm alright looking (or so I'm told), intelligent, fairly amusing company, not evil in any way shape or form and yet my friends get all of the male attention and me none whatsoever. All of my close friends have boyfriends, and when they break up with people - they seem to suddenly have new guys chasing them (and no, they aren't all easy!!!). I just don't get it at all. And it makes me kind of sad :-( What should I do about it?? I mean, I genuinely have no clue what's wrong with me. I tried to talk to one of my guy mates about it (as I figured he'd be able to explain what was wrong) but he just brushed over it and moved on without saying anything. It's really starting to get me down, I don't want to be the ugly friend. It sucks.
I'm alright looking (or so I'm told), intelligent, fairly amusing company, not evil in any way shape or form and yet my friends get all of the male attention and me none whatsoever. All of my close friends have boyfriends, and when they break up with people - they seem to suddenly have new guys chasing them (and no, they aren't all easy!!!). I just don't get it at all. And it makes me kind of sad :-( What should I do about it?? I mean, I genuinely have no clue what's wrong with me. I tried to talk to one of my guy mates about it (as I figured he'd be able to explain what was wrong) but he just brushed over it and moved on without saying anything. It's really starting to get me down, I don't want to be the ugly friend. It sucks.
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Maybe people think that you are not the relationship type, are you quiet or do you study a lot? Post a pic I could give you tips.
Aww, bless you! I'm sure someone is attracted to you, often you just have no idea! You just have to think about all the times you've fancied someone and they probably didn't have the faintest clue that you liked them because people tend to keep it quite hidden when they do like someone - so there's probably someone who feels like that for you but is keeping it to themselves!
If people tell you you're good-looking you're obviously not the ugly friend, so don't worry! Are you shy at all? Shyness could be a big factor in it, as people don't feel as able to come up and start paying you attention if they think you're a bit quiet at first, they might worry you'll be freaked out by the attention.
Is there anyone you like? If you start being a bit more open and flirtatious with them you might find them acting the same way back, because people are often a bit wary of showing their attraction to someone who they don't know will feel the same way. Good luck hun!
If people tell you you're good-looking you're obviously not the ugly friend, so don't worry! Are you shy at all? Shyness could be a big factor in it, as people don't feel as able to come up and start paying you attention if they think you're a bit quiet at first, they might worry you'll be freaked out by the attention.
Is there anyone you like? If you start being a bit more open and flirtatious with them you might find them acting the same way back, because people are often a bit wary of showing their attraction to someone who they don't know will feel the same way. Good luck hun!
I dont think you're looking at your 'problem' correctly, its only a problem because you think it is. Dont overthink the point that you dont have a boyfriend, that will happen when you least expect it. I dont think you should be jelaous of your friends' relationships if they finish that quickly. Focus on whats important, stop thinking that no-one is attracted to you, just relax, there probably is someone but you just don't know it.
Relationships will come into existence in their own time. I don't believe for one minute that you've never been liked; like abc(defg) said above, these things are kept hidden (at least for most of the time).
Also, there are thousands of people in your situation, and more often than not it's pure coincidence.
Also, there are thousands of people in your situation, and more often than not it's pure coincidence.
You seem to think that your friends behave the same way you do, but they might be sending out signals that you're not aware of. Small things that a lot of girls seem to do automatically, like swaying your hips slightly when you walk, sticking your chest out a bit, flicking your hair, smiling etc. etc. etc. will capture a man's attention. Ergo, if you're in a group of friends who all (perhaps subconsciously) send out those signals and you don't, then they are more likely to get the male attention.
Just be the slightest bit flirtatious, you'll be surprised at the results.
Just be the slightest bit flirtatious, you'll be surprised at the results.
Stop looking maybe, then you'll probably find someone.
I'd say I was ludicrously over-confident if anything, and I am often accused of being flirtatious so I'm not entirely sure where the issue is. I definitely am not always locked up at home studying either! I realise millions and billions of others are in the same situation, but it's just pretty tedious when it's you!!! Thanks for replying, I just need someone to understand how I feel; my friends being in relationships seems to mean they haven't much time for me and tbh no-one likes listening to people grumble! I just want a bit of love so I don't feel all alone :-)
p.s. what is Linux TomX
p.s. what is Linux TomX
If you want my advice: if something isn't working for you, change it. People wouldn't hesitate to take this attitude to most things in life - why not apply such thinking to your lifestyle? Of course there is something to be said for being oneself, but if you're not attracting guys maybe there is something putting them off which you could work on?
So for example, don't be too nice. It works even better in reverse, but if a girl is a bit mean to a guy (in a semi-joking manner) then it'll probably make him want you more. A girl I have no interest in called me a nerd the other day and for the first time I took notice of her "like that". Might just be me, but I think it might be a more general thing. Don't be too friendly or you'll be friends. Be fun, be exciting, be different, be original, be different, be a challenge.
There you go - some semi-drunken ramblings!
So for example, don't be too nice. It works even better in reverse, but if a girl is a bit mean to a guy (in a semi-joking manner) then it'll probably make him want you more. A girl I have no interest in called me a nerd the other day and for the first time I took notice of her "like that". Might just be me, but I think it might be a more general thing. Don't be too friendly or you'll be friends. Be fun, be exciting, be different, be original, be different, be a challenge.
There you go - some semi-drunken ramblings!
I'm not sure a picture would help - I suspect a lot of it is to do with stuff that's more to do with the signals you're sending out in terms of body language and stuff, as other posters have mentioned.
It sounds to me *maybe* like your friend rather tried to skate round answering your question - maybe he thinks something but doesn't want to say it to your face. Might be worth asking again and stressing how important it is to you that he tells you as if there is an issue it would help you to know.
It sounds to me *maybe* like your friend rather tried to skate round answering your question - maybe he thinks something but doesn't want to say it to your face. Might be worth asking again and stressing how important it is to you that he tells you as if there is an issue it would help you to know.
Rock Fan
Stop looking maybe, then you'll probably find someone.
I completley agree with this advise. And anyways, why the rush to have male attention? It will happen when it happens. However, if you want short term male attention, attend a party and hug everyone. You're sure to get some attention. For the time being you should just live your life without the worry of not recieving any notification of male attraction. You probably be much happier.
Rock Fan
Stop looking maybe, then you'll probably find someone.
Agreed all the way.
If you stop looking, you'll find yourself less uptight and talking to whoever... If you're really uptight thinking "oh god, how do i act?" well, you won't get anywhere. Hang in there love, **pretend jaw jab** :-P
Anonymous
I'd say I was ludicrously over-confident if anything, and I am often accused of being flirtatious so I'm not entirely sure where the issue is. I definitely am not always locked up at home studying either! I realise millions and billions of others are in the same situation, but it's just pretty tedious when it's you!!! Thanks for replying, I just need someone to understand how I feel; my friends being in relationships seems to mean they haven't much time for me and tbh no-one likes listening to people grumble! I just want a bit of love so I don't feel all alone :-)
p.s. what is Linux TomX
p.s. what is Linux TomX
Aha! Men are intimidated by you! They often only try it on with people they have a good chance with as no-one wants to be knocked back. Try and make yourself less in-your-face, and as someone else said try and seem approachable.
becasue you believe it, you believet hat people dont find you attractive so A. they dont or B. they do but you dont notice it.
You need to get past this thing that you have that you are unnatractive
You need to get past this thing that you have that you are unnatractive
Rock Fan
Stop looking maybe, then you'll probably find someone.
But that doesn't always work either. And if it doesn't, then what do you do if you would actually like to be with someone?
I've never understood why some people seem to find it easy to find a partner yet others seem to have a great deal of trouble. Why do some people seem to get all the attention and others none/very little?
I have pretty much the same problem. I hardly ever get approached, and then only by drunks. And I can't tell what's different about me compared to my friends.
So I think if we both seem on the same sort of level as our friends in terms of looks/intelligence/personality etc, then I guess it does come down to the ol signals business. A tricky thing to change if it's not something you're aware of.
I know that wasn't actually helpful, but I just thought I'd participate - you're not alone!
So I think if we both seem on the same sort of level as our friends in terms of looks/intelligence/personality etc, then I guess it does come down to the ol signals business. A tricky thing to change if it's not something you're aware of.
I know that wasn't actually helpful, but I just thought I'd participate - you're not alone!
If you really are everything you say, I'd go with the 'stop looking' advice. Just maintain an appearance, be friendly and i'm sure the rest will follow.
And try not to compare yourself to your friends. I'm sure they have their own complexes as well. (e.g. if a guy likes someone, about 3 more girls don't.. for one thing)
And try not to compare yourself to your friends. I'm sure they have their own complexes as well. (e.g. if a guy likes someone, about 3 more girls don't.. for one thing)
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