Why am I so annoyingly clumsy and forgetfulWatch
I'm a final year child nursing student on my final placement- its a neonatal unit which is great because I also secured a job at my local hospital's neonatal unit.
So its 12 weeks and im currently on week4. I wish I could say it was going smoothly but it really isnt. I have 3 mentors who are all cool but I sometimes get the feeling that one of them doesnt reallylike me. And ever since I had my first shift with her I've absolutely dreaded working with her because in my attempts to impress and show her that I can be a good nurse something always goes wrong. And i mean, ALWAYS. Its nothing serious but it would be things like me being unable to do something but when she does it, i mess up in finishing it so she has to do it again. Or one time I was so overcome with shyness & nerves I forgot to introduce myself to the family which she saw. It doesnt help that I'm also an incredibly awkward person who keeps dropping things and stammering. I see the other students and I just wish I could be more like them, they seem so confident and self aware. Plus, I also have resting screw face so I have to smile twice as hard to not come across as rude or grumpy. My other 2 mentors are nice and ive worked with other nurses where I successfully got through the day without any mishaps. I've also been more open and chatty with the parents; something which is very difficult as I am shy around new people. I jus feel like this mentor has only seen me mess up, when I do things I'm like "URGH WHY ISNT SHE HERE?"
I don't know. i guess my main problem is that i'm intimidated by her. She's not horrible, I just don't think she likes having someone as hopless as me around. I just got back from a shift with her & I really felt like crying because i could tell she was really put off with me. But she's not the type to discuss it with you and make you feel more confident, i think she's more the type to tell someone more senior so I could be looking at a visit from the nurse manager enquiring why I'm hopeless.
The fact that this is happening in my last placement also terrifies me. I'll be going into my new job in 4 months and I want this hopeless clumsy stuttering student to disappear and be replaced by a confident skilled nurse by then.
I really need advice. Any submitted are appreciated.
Honestly just be yourself. I'm quite quiet by nature, I will talk to the nurses but I don't try to pretend I'm someone I'm not. As long as you are managing your patients effectively and safely it doesn't matter if you're not the 'perfect nurse'. A nurse told me today that even when you're qualified you don't feel ready and you're always learning something new. Like learning to drive, you don't truly learn until after you pass. It doesn't get easier just because you have a different colour uniform.
You have got this far into your training so you are doing something right. Not everyone gets this far. You have because you've done the right things.
We can do this!
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