Boyfriend refusing to meet me half way

Good Evening All.

I have been in a relationship for the past 9 months with my boyfriend he is refusing to introduce me to his friends and his family.

I have paid now 7 times...for a Hotel to see him for several weeks at a time costing me over £5000 (I work full time and so does he) i have never been to his house nor met any of his friends.

Anytime i bring up this i get a blank response and he changes the subject.

What am i meant to do? I love this guy HUGELY, and he messages me first in the morning and last at night and just looking through our Facebook chats and we we have had over 193,000 messages.

I get ''I love you so much'' several times throughout the day argh please help!

Am i wasting my money? , he doesn't earn anything like i do but when i do visit he pays for some meals for me etc.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

well maybe because he isn't ready yet

Reply 2

Kevin De Bruyne

Original post by Anonymous

9 months.. £5000... he hasn't made the effort once or introduced you to anyone? (In the future, I would be wary about spending so much time with someone at that cost.. maybe one or two days every few weeks/months, sure, but for weeks at a time? A bit overboard).

I would sit him down and check that he's actually serious about all of this - you've invested a lot, time wise, financially and emotionally and you haven't even met his friends or family.. red flags.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Nope couldn't even tell you one of his friends names.

Reply 4

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

Talk to him about why he refuses. tell him how it makes you feel. If his answer isnt satisfactory or persuasive, then you have to accept or dump.

I know one girl who this happened to and it dragged on for years. He really did a number on her, so get out imo.

Reply 5

999tigger

Btw you arent being objective about it. he can text you fluffy kisses as much as he wants, but there is an imbalance. he gets to sleep with you, but he keeps you away from prying eyes. Is his family ethnically different from yours? Its always your choice, but I'd have done as I advised ages ago and just dumped him.

Do not watse years of your life hoping he will turn round becayse it wont happen and every year you spend with him is another year when you could be finding someone suitable who will treat you as an equal. Dont lose very valuable years, especially if you wnat kids.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by 999tigger

Nope we are both English and have no religious background to either of us nor our families.

Reply 7

username2049777

In all honesty, this guy sounds suspicious. There must be a hidden motive in him not wanting to expose his life to you: perhaps he has a secret life that he doesn't want to let you know about.

Seriously, either talk to him and be blunt, or leave.

Reply 8

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

Nope we are both English and have no religious background to either of us nor our families.

Then he doesnt have that excuse. advice @ 21:09 stands.

Reply 9

Prah

Hmmmm be extra careful this dude smells fishy

Reply 10

Prah

Try visiting his workplace without informing him then you can get some info about his frnds

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

i told him i'll visit him at work and he said ''No don't do that i'll view you as a customer and i don't like customers''

:/

Reply 12

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

i told him i'll visit him at work and he said ''No don't do that i'll view you as a customer and i don't like customers''

:/

He's not treating you failry. Give him a limited chance and if he doesnt respond then dump him or accept the situation.

Reply 13

Gherk

Maybe he doesn't have any?

193k messages fam :L

What age is he? It couldn't be that he's married or something? This probably sounds really under hand, but if I were you I would follow him one day. Find out what time he leaves work ,keep your distance so he doesn't see you,and just wait and watch. I'm not trying to upset you. But if he is deliberately keeping you from his life then why is that?

Reply 16

abbieayinde

If you've blown that much cash and haven't heard so much as a name or met a single person, I hate to break it to you but he's either got another girlfriend or he's not serious. In my opinion he doesn't sound the slightest bit serious and he is not worth your time/money in sure if you look back on this situation you'll think of all the money you could have saved and will be very annoyed, just focus on yourself for now it's best

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

I don't get it why if he's not interested does he message me every single day? and has done ever since we have met.

And he ask's me to come down for 2-3 weeks at a time.

Reply 18

an_atheist

Original post by Anonymous

I don't get it why if he's not interested does he message me every single day? and has done ever since we have met.

And he ask's me to come down for 2-3 weeks at a time.

I'm fairly sure you're in denial. Talk to him about why he doesnt want you to meet friends/family. Then just do what everyone else has said, if there is no satisfactory answer, leave.