Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I don't think my friends don't like me Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hey, I am having pretty big issues with friends at the moment. They organise events around me and they treat me in a way that makes me feel different, almost lesser. While they seem OK enough when they are talking with me, it's what I notice behind the scenes with them organising things behind my back which has been getting to me, and they have not been 100% direct with me before. They were coordinating something today without me through the chat, and I decided to ask through the chat what It was and whether it was something I had missed. One of them, who is strongly inclined towards pissing people off, said to me that it was because they didn't like me. Although I probably shouldn't listen to him because he is a bit wired and psychotic, I think he isn't lying because I don't think they do.

    I am used to being able to look introspectively and blame myself and change myself to do with this. I am by no means a perfect or even decent person (I am quite aggressive and I am perceived as arrogant and frank, although that is not an unusual bunch of traits to have amongst our group), and I have explained to them why I am like this and they do not seem to care too much. Also, I am struggling to see why I should change for this since they provoke it a lot and act towards me in a collective way. For instance, I and the other bloke got kicked from the group chat for debating something, and they basically treated me as inferior, giving us an ultimatum to leave or stay without privileges. I couldn't stand being inequal so I left, and although I was added back a few hours later with privileges, I still feel as if the whole reason they acted towards us in such a way is because they considered us inferior. Now, it makes sense to do that to the other guy since he posts all kinds of insane **** (Hentai etc), but all I do is disagree and debate people.

    It is kinda difficult to be objective being not only in this, but deep in exam season and with a collapsing family life. Honestly, I just want somebody to talk to for a bit about this since I am finding it really difficult to see it from their perspective as I don't think I am doing anything particularly wrong. I mean, I am probably doing something wrong but I am certainly not seeing it myself.

    Please help, I don't want to lose them.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    **** double negative.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    leave and make new friends you won't regret it
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Yua)
    leave and make new friends you won't regret it
    That's the issue, I can't until uni. I don't want to spend the next three months alone.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    If your "friends" bestow privleges on you you aren't their friends you're an inequal and, no offence here, a *****.

    I would find new friends, these people aren't your friends they sound like tossers.

    3 months isn't a long time at all, at Uni you'll make friends and forget all about these people.

    Also he posts hentai, degenerate smh, animepeople are all degenerates.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    If your "friends" bestow privleges on you you aren't their friends you're an inequal and, no offence here, a *****.

    I would find new friends, these people aren't your friends they sound like tossers.

    3 months isn't a long time at all, at Uni you'll make friends and forget all about these people.

    Also he posts hentai, degenerate smh, animepeople are all degenerates.
    I know, obvs the others disapprove but it doesn't stop him.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's the issue, I can't until uni. I don't want to spend the next three months alone.
    You don't have to wait, if you don't like them just go out and make new friends, its not as hard as it sounds honestly
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    If your "friends" bestow privleges on you you aren't their friends you're an inequal and, no offence here, a *****.

    I would find new friends, these people aren't your friends they sound like tossers.

    3 months isn't a long time at all, at Uni you'll make friends and forget all about these people.

    Also he posts hentai, degenerate smh, animepeople are all degenerates.
    Ah thats me being unclear. You know how whatsapp works with admin privileges? Everybody in the group gets them, but they decided to remove mine and his and give me an ultimatum, which I refused. When I came back they gave me the admin stuff back, which makes me equal to them.

    That was really unclear I am really pissed off so I didn't make that clear sorry.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    You say that you debate and argue with them a lot. If you don't want to find another friend group, you could try to disagree less and if you find yourself in a situation where your'e arguing and their unwilling to stand down, try saying 'oh, i see your point' and agreeing with them. It'll make you seem better in their eyes. Just generally try to avoid conflict.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Yua)
    You don't have to wait, if you don't like them just go out and make new friends, its not as hard as it sounds honestly
    Well, I am in a bit of a difficult situation at home, I have to keep an eye on my mum so it will be more difficult than for somebody with nothing holding them back
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    animepeople are all degenerates.
    They truly are

    http://static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Weeaboo_05f924_5573885.gif
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by anonymous290)
    You say that you debate and argue with them a lot. If you don't want to find another friend group, you could try to disagree less and if you find yourself in a situation where your'e arguing and their unwilling to stand down, try saying 'oh, i see your point' and agreeing with them. It'll make you seem better in their eyes. Just generally try to avoid conflict.
    I understand what you are saying. I think they seem to take my disagreement personally and I try to remain as non insulting as possible. I also find standing down a bit difficult, so I would have to work on that.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ah thats me being unclear. You know how whatsapp works with admin privileges? Everybody in the group gets them, but they decided to remove mine and his and give me an ultimatum, which I refused. When I came back they gave me the admin stuff back, which makes me equal to them.

    That was really unclear I am really pissed off so I didn't make that clear sorry.
    No, that's still pathetic and petty regardless smh, my point still stands.
    I don't think you'll stop talking to these people, least not till Uni, no matter what is said here. But srs, they don't seem to be your friends, you don't seem to be weaboo otaku trash, nobody needs hentai in their life.
    When you debate **** do you get all personal or condescending at all? Maybe that's what causes them to be dicks otherwise idk
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    If your "friends" bestow privleges on you you aren't their friends you're an inequal and, no offence here, a *****.

    I would find new friends, these people aren't your friends they sound like tossers.

    3 months isn't a long time at all, at Uni you'll make friends and forget all about these people.

    Also he posts hentai, degenerate smh, animepeople are all degenerates.
    Smd
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    No, that's still pathetic and petty regardless smh, my point still stands.
    I don't think you'll stop talking to these people, least not till Uni, no matter what is said here. But srs, they don't seem to be your friends, you don't seem to be weaboo otaku trash, nobody needs hentai in their life.
    When you debate **** do you get all personal or condescending at all? Maybe that's what causes them to be dicks otherwise idk
    Not really, although I am quite stubborn, but that is usually because they don't really debate very well more than being willfully ignorant.

    Yeah, I can see myself being a bit of a ****** for leaving, but simultaneously I don't like the idea of being lesser.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not really, although I am quite stubborn, but that is usually because they don't really debate very well more than being willfully ignorant.

    Yeah, I can see myself being a bit of a ****** for leaving, but simultaneously I don't like the idea of being lesser.
    Either they:
    A) Don't like you debating stuff and use this admin **** to minimise it
    B) Genuinely just immature
    C) Joking and maybe you're taking it srs

    That's about it lmao
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    Either they:
    A) Don't like you debating stuff and use this admin **** to minimise it
    B) Genuinely just immature
    C) Joking and maybe you're taking it srs

    That's about it lmao
    I think it is a mix of the first two, but predominantly A. They said I apparently cause anarchy when I disagree, which doesn't make any sense to me at all.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    Honestly you shouldn't be putting up with the way they behave with you because nobody deserves to be treated that way. Just because you debate more better than them and can prove your points right it doesn't mean they should make you feel left out and unwanted in the group. If that's the case and they aren't taking your feelings into consideration then maybe they just aren't your true friends and definitely not people you should be friends with. I think that you need more friends that are more similar to you and can actually debate well and not take it so personally because you seem like the more straightforward type of person who'll win a debate and can always justify what you've said however if your friends are taking it personally then that's just pathetic coz they must know it's not that deep. And I know you aren't able to make new friends atm and you're waiting for Uni, tbh it's better to be alone than to be with people who don't make you feel happy. Concentrate on yourself, on your goals because you are more important, your life is more significant than these friends you have right now. In fact you probably are likely to not even know them in 10 years time because as you move on in life you meet people with the same mentality as you, same position on the hierarchy ladder as you. Don't be disheartened because I know how you feel and it's not the most best thing anyone can ever go through or feel. You feel as though you need these friends for the next 3 months till Uni. Really you don't need friends like that who are always excluding you from things and aren't completely being honest enough. There clearly is no trust or love or care being shown here towards you. And tbh I think that these people are just jealous of the fact that you're able to justify what you've gotta say unlike them who can only say something but aren't able to give a justification. These next 3 months you should start thinking about yourself and your goals and with your friends you should just be nice with them I guess even though they aren't probably even worthy enough to receive that from someone like you. You obviously can't stoop to their level and start being dishonest with them and excluding them from things etc so just be nice to them but also show that you aren't even the bit interested in their so called plans because you've got your own. Study hard and get to where you want and in 10 years time when you see them walking across the street you'll be able to look them in the eye and say 'I made it without you'. I know right now this probably ain't even making sense but trust me you'll find friends who are good enough for you and understand you and people who definitely won't make you feel excluded. Don't worry, the good days are coming, they're just round the corner. And forget them friends! You've got yourself, you can handle yourself and you can definitely become what you want to! I hope this helped you in some way.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Halzy1234)
    Honestly you shouldn't be putting up with the way they behave with you because nobody deserves to be treated that way. Just because you debate more better than them and can prove your points right it doesn't mean they should make you feel left out and unwanted in the group. If that's the case and they aren't taking your feelings into consideration then maybe they just aren't your true friends and definitely not people you should be friends with. I think that you need more friends that are more similar to you and can actually debate well and not take it so personally because you seem like the more straightforward type of person who'll win a debate and can always justify what you've said however if your friends are taking it personally then that's just pathetic coz they must know it's not that deep. And I know you aren't able to make new friends atm and you're waiting for Uni, tbh it's better to be alone than to be with people who don't make you feel happy. Concentrate on yourself, on your goals because you are more important, your life is more significant than these friends you have right now. In fact you probably are likely to not even know them in 10 years time because as you move on in life you meet people with the same mentality as you, same position on the hierarchy ladder as you. Don't be disheartened because I know how you feel and it's not the most best thing anyone can ever go through or feel. You feel as though you need these friends for the next 3 months till Uni. Really you don't need friends like that who are always excluding you from things and aren't completely being honest enough. There clearly is no trust or love or care being shown here towards you. And tbh I think that these people are just jealous of the fact that you're able to justify what you've gotta say unlike them who can only say something but aren't able to give a justification. These next 3 months you should start thinking about yourself and your goals and with your friends you should just be nice with them I guess even though they aren't probably even worthy enough to receive that from someone like you. You obviously can't stoop to their level and start being dishonest with them and excluding them from things etc so just be nice to them but also show that you aren't even the bit interested in their so called plans because you've got your own. Study hard and get to where you want and in 10 years time when you see them walking across the street you'll be able to look them in the eye and say 'I made it without you'. I know right now this probably ain't even making sense but trust me you'll find friends who are good enough for you and understand you and people who definitely won't make you feel excluded. Don't worry, the good days are coming, they're just round the corner. And forget them friends! You've got yourself, you can handle yourself and you can definitely become what you want to! I hope this helped you in some way.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Thanks
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 11, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.