Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Boyf doesn't love me - how long do I wait??? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've been with my boyfriend about eight months but we've both liked eachother almost a year. In March I told him that I'm in love with him, and he said he doesn't feel the same way but still cares very very deeply.

    Him still not feeling the same way physically hurts, and it's all I can think about over the past few months. I cry an aweful lot and it genuinely kills me inside, I've never felt the same way about anyone else.

    I know I can't force him to feel the same way about me and theres obviously the chance that he never will... so...

    how long do I wait until enough is enough? it's been 4 months and it's killing me
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Just leave him, you are making it worse for yourself and you are better going and finding somebody that actually cares
    • #2
    #2

    I'm curious, how old are you? That sounds weird, but I want to understand the situation better.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Did he say why? Has he been good to you and faithful?

    If so, it will come with time. Ask him about it. He may feel upset that he doesn't feel the same way either.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend about eight months but we've both liked eachother almost a year. In March I told him that I'm in love with him, and he said he doesn't feel the same way but still cares very very deeply.

    Him still not feeling the same way physically hurts, and it's all I can think about over the past few months. I cry an aweful lot and it genuinely kills me inside, I've never felt the same way about anyone else.

    I know I can't force him to feel the same way about me and theres obviously the chance that he never will... so...

    how long do I wait until enough is enough? it's been 4 months and it's killing me
    My love, you shouldn't wait in the first place. Leave him, you'll thank yourself later.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm curious, how old are you? That sounds weird, but I want to understand the situation better.
    you went from 0 to 100 rather f***ing quickly didnt ya...
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    If he doesn't love you then it's not worth it... </3
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by donutellme)
    Did he say why? Has he been good to you and faithful?

    If so, it will come with time. Ask him about it. He may feel upset that he doesn't feel the same way either.
    He's very good to me, hasn't spoken to another girl!

    I think he does feel bad he doesn't feel the same way, when he told me he didn't feel the same way I cried for hours and he cried too.

    He's the best anyone could ever be, he tells me he's happy with me, which makes me question why he doesn't love me
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    19
    Very Important Poster
    You told him after 4 months. It pits a degree of pressure on him to feel the same way.
    Just start thinking about he may never feel that way. Pick a date of how long you will give it a try. That date is up to you, but be prepared to deal with things either way.
    Are you getting more out of being in a relationship than putting in? Is it better thna being single. The time when its better to be single rather than what you have now (not what you want), then thats the time to split.

    Also dont forget people have different ideas about love and what they mean by it.
    .
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's very good to me, hasn't spoken to another girl!

    I think he does feel bad he doesn't feel the same way, when he told me he didn't feel the same way I cried for hours and he cried too.

    He's the best anyone could ever be, he tells me he's happy with me, which makes me question why he doesn't love me
    Give him just a bit more time. Some people are more cautious than others.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Some people take time, like myself. I couldn't say "I love you" for at least a year. Yeah, one year. Some people think that's so long, but sometimes even I think that's too little.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Do his actions say "I love you"? Because that's what's more important than what he says, and he might not know what love is/want to admit to it

    If he's not making you happy, or doesn't seem invested, it might be worth having a proper conversation about it as to whether the relationship is working. But he might just not be the type for words
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    WTF, not one of these again. Look - every day of the week people find out they are on different pages in their relationships. 1 year obviously isn't enough time for him and he needs longer to decide whether or not he loves you. But you constantly pressurising him isn't going to help. People actually have patience with each other and make their relationships work better if one person doesn't reciprocate. But you complaining about it just makes you sound really immature. If you seriously love him, give the guy a break and treat him nicely. Stay with him until he does love you. If you don't love him - STFU, grow a pair and move on. Have a bit of patience.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    I think some people link saying I love you to a life long commitment and some people are just more emotional than others. If the relationship is good I would hang in there longer. 8 months is still a pretty short relationship. This said people do need to be careful not to invest too long in a relationship where there is not a shared outlook. Good luck.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    if he loves you, (he'll) say it
    if he trusts you, (he'll) do it
    if he wants you, (he'll) show it
    if he needs you, (he'll) prove it
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Nearly a year he loves you not? Wtf. He's shagging others

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #3
    #3

    I don't think that it means he'll never love you takes longer for some people to say it or feel it than others
    • Study Helper
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Study Helper
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend about eight months but we've both liked eachother almost a year. In March I told him that I'm in love with him, and he said he doesn't feel the same way but still cares very very deeply.

    Him still not feeling the same way physically hurts, and it's all I can think about over the past few months. I cry an aweful lot and it genuinely kills me inside, I've never felt the same way about anyone else.

    I know I can't force him to feel the same way about me and theres obviously the chance that he never will... so...

    how long do I wait until enough is enough? it's been 4 months and it's killing me
    Generally speaking, guys know before the girl knows (average is 3-5 dates). So either he's slow, like continental drift kinda slow; or he's not gonna get there.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend about eight months but we've both liked eachother almost a year. In March I told him that I'm in love with him, and he said he doesn't feel the same way but still cares very very deeply.

    Him still not feeling the same way physically hurts, and it's all I can think about over the past few months. I cry an aweful lot and it genuinely kills me inside, I've never felt the same way about anyone else.

    I know I can't force him to feel the same way about me and theres obviously the chance that he never will... so...

    how long do I wait until enough is enough? it's been 4 months and it's killing me
    It's best to leave him now because if you wait longer then you might not be able to leave him because you will get attached to him even more. I waited for a guy for 5 yrs and decided last yr that it's time to move on and forget about him. I still see him in school though (he is in one of my lessons) but I manage to avoid him and stop thinking about him because if he doesn't need me what do I care?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Don't even wait a second, if he doesn't love you, wait for the right guy to do so
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 12, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.