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Best friend makes ZERO effort with me. Why doesn't he care? watch

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    Basically I have got to the point where I am just ready to block him and end this one-sided friendship. I have made so much effort to keep in contact since uni ended 2 years ago but he NEVER arranges meet ups and NEVER asks to see how I am etc. We have only met in person once in the past year and it's just become physically draining to try and maintain the friendship. About 3 months ago I decided to just stop and wait for him to contact me. And still I haven't heard anything back, not even a text message. It's so frustrating- I feel like I have wasted huge amounts of time and investment into someone who clearly just doesn't care anymore.
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    A friend who isn't prepared to make time for you isn't worth your friendship.
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    So don't be his friend anymore? You'll find other people who care about the friendship
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    He aint your friend dude best to end it
    A real friend would have made the effort
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    (Original post by UWS)
    So don't be his friend anymore? You'll find other people who care about the friendship
    I guess it's just hard to forget about the really good times we had at uni. I hadn't met anyone before with so much in common as me.

    Having said that , the reality is I've felt the friendship has been on the downward spiral for over a year now. We've taken different paths in terms of careers. Sometimes I wonder if he's become jealous of me cos what I do is perceived to be more respected than his vocation. It's not like that's an excuse in any case. He's been non-existent as a friend in recent times and I've got to the point where I know exactly what I'm looking for in people close to me. Unfortunately he no longer fits that description and you are right; it's for the best to move on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess it's just hard to forget about the really good times we had at uni. I hadn't met anyone before with so much in common as me.

    Having said that , the reality is I've felt the friendship has been on the downward spiral for over a year now. We've taken different paths in terms of careers. Sometimes I wonder if he's become jealous of me cos what I do is perceived to be more respected than his vocation. It's not like that's an excuse in any case. He's been non-existent as a friend in recent times and I've got to the point where I know exactly what I'm looking for in people close to me. Unfortunately he no longer fits that description and you are right; it's for the best to move on.
    People come and go mate. This is just how life is
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    People change. It's also possible that your idea of friendship is different.

    I'd move on if he can't be bothered to make the effort.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    People change. It's also possible that your idea of friendship is different.

    I'd move on if he can't be bothered to make the effort.
    I agree that people can change but it just doesn't make any sense to me why someone would allow themselves to become so distant from their best mate. I've started to resent the guy cos I feel as though I've wasted 4 years of my life on someone who clearly just wasn't worth the effort. It makes me weary of getting close to people again in future for fear of the same thing happening again.
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    Best friend... I thought I read boyfriend. These things happen. To be honest you don't have to see someone regukatly to be close to them and some people are just busy with other stuff. We are all adults and we can't expect
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    My bad, I'm half asleep. The above response is mine...


    Best friend... I thought I read boyfriend. These things happen. To be honest you don't have to see someone regularly to be close to them and some people are just busy with other stuff. We are all adults and we can't expect friends to be around all the time. If you feel you are making too much effort then continue to sit back and see if he comes around. In the meantime try and spend more time with other people.

    Or alternatively you could speak to said best friend and let him know exactly how you're feeling. My best friend didn't make much of an effort, so I pulled him up on it. He didn't change overnight, I took a step back and months down the line he started reaching out to me more.
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    You're obviously not his best Friend, even though he might be yours.
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    Unfortunately, when you part from school likelihood is you will drift away- When I left secondary I made no effort at all with my group of friends and they no longer talk to me...I deserve it and regret it
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    My bad, I'm half asleep. The above response is mine...


    Best friend... I thought I read boyfriend. These things happen. To be honest you don't have to see someone regularly to be close to them and some people are just busy with other stuff. We are all adults and we can't expect friends to be around all the time. If you feel you are making too much effort then continue to sit back and see if he comes around. In the meantime try and spend more time with other people.

    Or alternatively you could speak to said best friend and let him know exactly how you're feeling. My best friend didn't make much of an effort, so I pulled him up on it. He didn't change overnight, I took a step back and months down the line he started reaching out to me more.
    Hmm it's much more extreme than you seem to think. We have only met up once in the past year and since I took a step back (i.e. stopped being the one to initiate contact), he hasn't even messaged me in the past 3 months. I understand we are both busy, myself in particular but I wouldn't use that as an excuse for what I see as essentially a complete lack of effort.

    I do spent time socialising with other people but I guess this particular 'friend' just grates on me. To be honest I feel like the friendship has now run it's course so will probably just leave it at that.
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    (Original post by frozen_fire)
    Hmm it's much more extreme than you seem to think. We have only met up once in the past year and since I took a step back (i.e. stopped being the one to initiate contact), he hasn't even messaged me in the past 3 months. I understand we are both busy, myself in particular but I wouldn't use that as an excuse for what I see as essentially a complete lack of effort.

    I do spent time socialising with other people but I guess this particular 'friend' just grates on me. To be honest I feel like the friendship has now run it's course so will probably just leave it at that.
    This is the exact same case for me and my best friend. We saw each other once last year and I found myself reaching out alot. I didn't feel it was reciprocated at all. All I'm saying is communication is a key factor in all relationships. I'm not sure if you have spoken to him about it. It won't hurt to see if this really is the end. If it is, then it isn't the end of the world, some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season.
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    Everyone has great/best friends that they've lost. Doesn't mean they were bad at the time but some good things do come to an end. You've clearly grown apart. Don't resent him, you're the better person in this case. Just treasure the memories.

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