Toilet anxiety

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    #1

    Please help!! This may be a long post ... Im going to try to keep it brief and not bore you with a life story
    Im 18 years old female and currently at college doing my A levels.

    Since the last year of high school - yr 11 a couple of months before i started my GCSE's till now i think i have developed something called tiolet anxiety

    Basically i spend 15 mins in the bathroom before going out places ensuring i dont need to pee and have emptied my bladder. It is really affecting me mentally in a way that i feel like i cant go out anymore , i mean there hace been a few occassions where i havent spent a long time in the bathroom or have gone places without peeing before hand and i try and motivate myself with these examples put sometimes it isnt enough.

    This is the embarrasing part but for the past two years ive been wearing pads secretly in college in the fear i nay pee or leak. None of my family know this. I have many times infact in this second year of college been able to wear no pads during lessons or throughout the day and i felt really good but i was still peeing before and after every lesson. Before id go home for the day and remove my pad and thats it. I thought that peeing every hour would be ok since i drink alot of water or used to anyway, and i thought if i pee after every lesson as long as i dont take long itll be fine but its isnt. I have been late to lessons because im spending time in the tiolet ensuring ive fully peed.
    At home im ok and can last two hours or possibly more depending if i havent drink anything without going to the tiolet. But its when im going out places or at college i get it . I can walk through town ok but i may need to use a public restroom maybe once and pee before i leave home. But ive put off going places or to cities with my family saying im revising or tired because of this issue.

    Currently im on study leave for exams and go in to revise. I can last 2/3 hours without needing to pee or on one occasion five. But thats only because i dont have any lessons and in that time space have probably only drank 500ml. I have a few exams left and in the previous ones ive sat i have worn a pad in all of then and spent 15 mins before hand ensuring i dont need to pee to the point where i end up spotting blood on the tiolet tissue because ive wipped excessivley.
    my exams will be over in 2/3 weeks time and i will be going to uni in sept. i really want this issue ti be gone by then especially since in uni ill have 2/3 hour seminars etc. I really want someone to talk to and help me . I dont want to tell my parents because im embarrased and ashamed.i dont want to go the the gp because of the same reasons and also im afraid. I have spent many nights crying myslef to sleep beacuse of this. I have some anxiety like generally and have had panic attacks before but alot of my anxiety comes froms this issue and general confidence since my self esteem has plumeted in college. I dont hanga round with freinds in college in lunch or break because of this .

    This was meant to be a short post , and ive tried to keep it consise without telling a life story. Please , any advice or help?
    Thank you so much x it really means alot to me. Even if you took the time to read this ^^
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    You really need to see your GP/doctor about this, there isn't anything anyone here can do to help you really.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Katarvi)
    You really need to see your GP/doctor about this, there isn't anything anyone here can do to help you really.
    I want to see if anyone else has had this experience or gone through anything simmilar
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    i really recommend you see your gp. theyre not there to judge you - they see many people every day for all sorts of issues. i feel as though getting some help would be really beneficial for you, since this seems very psychological.
    try to understand that your bladder is stronger than you think it is! it can hold a fair bit, however you will probably be able to hold considerably less right now because you go to the toilet so often.
    my best recommendation to help yourself by yourself is to try and spend more time at home without going to the toilet. often urges to pee will fade - hold out a bit after you feel the initial need. if it persists and gets worse, go to the toilet.

    i am really sorry that youre experiencing this, though. keep on keeping on op, itll get better.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want to see if anyone else has had this experience or gone through anything simmilar
    Posting in mental health may help. People here may not have suffered or be suffering the same but there are a lot of people with various anxieties so you are not alone.
    I know you are here for support, not necessarily advice, and others have said the same but I also suggest you see a doctor. They can direct you to the best help which I suspect would possibly include therapy.

    It is not the same as what you are going through, but I was also troubled at around the same stage as you are and I was too scared or embaressed to get help for a long time. For a while I didn't even realise I had an issue (or maybe just wouldn't let myself accept it). Eventually things got so difficult I realised I had no option but to get help. It took a lot of time to build my courage and for a few moths I just read others experiences and advice. Everybody told me to go see a doctor and it would be fine but i never quite believed them or was stil scared anyway. Eventually I made the decision and made an appointment to see my gp. I was terrified. I lied to my parents about why I was going since I was still too scared to tell them. I wasn't sure they would understand or accept it. Even if they did I didn't want to worry them or make them worry about me.

    I won't lie, my appointment was really awkward and i'm sure I at least came close to crying. It took a while for anything to really happen too and in that time I felt like i'd opened up and done what I was meant to but despite so many promises it would help nothing happened. Soon enough though I was refered to a psychiatrist and everything started looking up from there. It was still a difficult journey but with a diagnosis behind me I had a little more courage to tell people about it and that gave me support.

    I was diagnosed with OCD. I used to have to do so many silly rituals like locking doors or flicking light switched over and over. I got therapy (CBT) and over time it helped me cut down on things until I was almost completely free.

    For ages I had tried to go it alone and been too afraid to do anything. I clinged to the idea that some day somehow thins would stop but for years they never did, until I got help. It is a difficult thing to open up and to ask for help, but it's the only way things will get better. Doctors will not judge you. They will have dealt with it far more than you will believe and they are there to help you.

    It took a lot of courage to open up here so I know you are capabe of seeing a doctor. Believe in yourself and remember it is to improve things for the future.
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want to see if anyone else has had this experience or gone through anything simmilar
    I'm a 19 y/o guy and I just wanted to say you're not alone with this. I've never wet myself or anything so I don't really know where it came from, but I used to get anxious about this. I'd ALWAYS have to go to the toilet before leaving the house even if I'd just been 5 minutes ago, I'd think about it a lot at school. I'd always go to the toilet every break even if I didn't need it, just to be sure. I'd do the same thing when out in public, I'd always visit the toilet when the opportunity came up even if I didn't need it (which has ended up being embarrassing - standing at a urinal with a queue of people behind me trying to pee for a minute but nothing came out because I just didn't need to go :rofl:)

    I found that, just like with other anxiety, it got better as I exposed myself to the situation and also through therapy. I never once mentioned toilet anxiety to my GP or my therapist, but I was getting therapy for social anxiety. I found that as I became more confident all anxiety started to go away, including this. I also got a bit braver and started to put myself in the situation that scared me - I just started not going to the toilet before going out if I wasn't going to be out for a long time, and built up to longer and longer times.

    I know it's hard, because even though you know it's irrational it's still a real fear. Try to overcome it - you know deep down that nothing's going to happen, so try skipping going to the toilet if you're going out and you won't be out long. It's scary at first, but as you do it more it becomes normal and the anxiety should start to go away.

    As others have said, I also think you should see your GP. Honestly, they deal with much worse than this on a daily basis, it's their job They won't judge you or think anything of it, it's actually not that uncommon so they might have even had patients with it before. I know it's embarrassing so it's scary opening up to someone about it, but if you can do that it'll make getting better much easier! They should also be able to help with your other anxiety. It can make a huge difference having someone that knows what you're going through and that can support you through it.

    Hope this helps, let me know if you want to talk more about it.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a 19 y/o guy and I just wanted to say you're not alone with this. I've never wet myself or anything so I don't really know where it came from, but I used to get anxious about this. I'd ALWAYS have to go to the toilet before leaving the house even if I'd just been 5 minutes ago, I'd think about it a lot at school. I'd always go to the toilet every break even if I didn't need it, just to be sure. I'd do the same thing when out in public, I'd always visit the toilet when the opportunity came up even if I didn't need it (which has ended up being embarrassing - standing at a urinal with a queue of people behind me trying to pee for a minute but nothing came out because I just didn't need to go :rofl:)

    I found that, just like with other anxiety, it got better as I exposed myself to the situation and also through therapy. I never once mentioned toilet anxiety to my GP or my therapist, but I was getting therapy for social anxiety. I found that as I became more confident all anxiety started to go away, including this. I also got a bit braver and started to put myself in the situation that scared me - I just started not going to the toilet before going out if I wasn't going to be out for a long time, and built up to longer and longer times.

    I know it's hard, because even though you know it's irrational it's still a real fear. Try to overcome it - you know deep down that nothing's going to happen, so try skipping going to the toilet if you're going out and you won't be out long. It's scary at first, but as you do it more it becomes normal and the anxiety should start to go away.

    As others have said, I also think you should see your GP. Honestly, they deal with much worse than this on a daily basis, it's their job They won't judge you or think anything of it, it's actually not that uncommon so they might have even had patients with it before. I know it's embarrassing so it's scary opening up to someone about it, but if you can do that it'll make getting better much easier! They should also be able to help with your other anxiety. It can make a huge difference having someone that knows what you're going through and that can support you through it.

    Hope this helps, let me know if you want to talk more about it.
    Thank you so much this has really helped!
    Im tginking of seeing my GP as soon as my a level exams are finished i really want to get this over before i start uni in september.
    Is it ok if i can contact you in the future? Just so i dont feel like im the only one going through this.
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much this has really helped!
    Im tginking of seeing my GP as soon as my a level exams are finished i really want to get this over before i start uni in september.
    Is it ok if i can contact you in the future? Just so i dont feel like im the only one going through this.
    Glad I could help!!

    Yeah of course! Just post in here whenever and I'll read it. Or if you want to find a way to give me your username I can PM you? I don't want to post without being anon because it's a bit embarrassing really :rofl:
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by kirigiri)
    i really recommend you see your gp. theyre not there to judge you - they see many people every day for all sorts of issues. i feel as though getting some help would be really beneficial for you, since this seems very psychological.
    try to understand that your bladder is stronger than you think it is! it can hold a fair bit, however you will probably be able to hold considerably less right now because you go to the toilet so often.
    my best recommendation to help yourself by yourself is to try and spend more time at home without going to the toilet. often urges to pee will fade - hold out a bit after you feel the initial need. if it persists and gets worse, go to the toilet.

    i am really sorry that youre experiencing this, though. keep on keeping on op, itll get better.
    Thank you for the advice
    Ill keep going
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Kindred)
    Posting in mental health may help. People here may not have suffered or be suffering the same but there are a lot of people with various anxieties so you are not alone.
    I know you are here for support, not necessarily advice, and others have said the same but I also suggest you see a doctor. They can direct you to the best help which I suspect would possibly include therapy.

    It is not the same as what you are going through, but I was also troubled at around the same stage as you are and I was too scared or embaressed to get help for a long time. For a while I didn't even realise I had an issue (or maybe just wouldn't let myself accept it). Eventually things got so difficult I realised I had no option but to get help. It took a lot of time to build my courage and for a few moths I just read others experiences and advice. Everybody told me to go see a doctor and it would be fine but i never quite believed them or was stil scared anyway. Eventually I made the decision and made an appointment to see my gp. I was terrified. I lied to my parents about why I was going since I was still too scared to tell them. I wasn't sure they would understand or accept it. Even if they did I didn't want to worry them or make them worry about me.

    I won't lie, my appointment was really awkward and i'm sure I at least came close to crying. It took a while for anything to really happen too and in that time I felt like i'd opened up and done what I was meant to but despite so many promises it would help nothing happened. Soon enough though I was refered to a psychiatrist and everything started looking up from there. It was still a difficult journey but with a diagnosis behind me I had a little more courage to tell people about it and that gave me support.

    I was diagnosed with OCD. I used to have to do so many silly rituals like locking doors or flicking light switched over and over. I got therapy (CBT) and over time it helped me cut down on things until I was almost completely free.

    For ages I had tried to go it alone and been too afraid to do anything. I clinged to the idea that some day somehow thins would stop but for years they never did, until I got help. It is a difficult thing to open up and to ask for help, but it's the only way things will get better. Doctors will not judge you. They will have dealt with it far more than you will believe and they are there to help you.

    It took a lot of courage to open up here so I know you are capabe of seeing a doctor. Believe in yourself and remember it is to improve things for the future.
    Hey
    Thank you so much for your post its really given me courage to speak to my gp i have an appointment booked for next friday for siging some papers for uni but i may lie and tell my mom i want an appointment also about my anxiety
    Im thinking of asking him to refer me to a counseller or other specialist for my general anxiety and how i always feel anxious or get all the synptoms when going out in places etc. If he refers me then i may tell the counseller about this too and how it adds onto the anxiety. Im not sure if thatd be a good approach idk
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Glad I could help!!

    Yeah of course! Just post in here whenever and I'll read it. Or if you want to find a way to give me your username I can PM you? I don't want to post without being anon because it's a bit embarrassing really :rofl:
    Haha i know lol
    Here you go
    Tha ks in advance
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey
    Thank you so much for your post its really given me courage to speak to my gp i have an appointment booked for next friday for siging some papers for uni but i may lie and tell my mom i want an appointment also about my anxiety
    Im thinking of asking him to refer me to a counseller or other specialist for my general anxiety and how i always feel anxious or get all the synptoms when going out in places etc. If he refers me then i may tell the counseller about this too and how it adds onto the anxiety. Im not sure if thatd be a good approach idk
    If you're at uni you may be able to get free counseling through them without a referal so ask there too. I got my first lot of counselling through my college. A gp can also refer you to therapy or a psychiatrist. I persoally found therapy more helpful as tere are active techniques and things while counselling is mostly just talking.
    Deffinayely worth seeing a counsellor or therapist though. They can be a real help
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Kindred)
    If you're at uni you may be able to get freeb counseling through them without a referal so ask there too. I got my first lot of counselling through my college. A gp can also refer you to therapy or a psychiatrist. I persoally found therapy more helpful as tere are active techniques and things while counselling is mostly just talking.
    Deffinayely worth seeing a counsellor or therapist though. They can be a real help

    Hey yh at the uni ill be going to in sept has it but i want to be seen before that and have delt with some general anxiety as well as this issue.
    My college does counselling too but im still on the waiting list ive been on it since after the easter break i finish next week when my last a2 exam is so i doubt ill be able to get one appointment with the college counselers unless i go in after untill college shuts but that again depends if im off the waiting list and have an appointment.
    And yh i think ill do therapy or Cbt i was advised by a first aider in college when i had a really bad panic attack so i may ask my doc to refer me for therapy to a speacilist for general anxiety. and then if i get that, after ,
    my general anxiety improves i think i may tell them of this issue
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a 19 y/o guy and I just wanted to say you're not alone with this. I've never wet myself or anything so I don't really know where it came from, but I used to get anxious about this. I'd ALWAYS have to go to the toilet before leaving the house even if I'd just been 5 minutes ago, I'd think about it a lot at school. I'd always go to the toilet every break even if I didn't need it, just to be sure. I'd do the same thing when out in public, I'd always visit the toilet when the opportunity came up even if I didn't need it (which has ended up being embarrassing - standing at a urinal with a queue of people behind me trying to pee for a minute but nothing came out because I just didn't need to go :rofl:)
    I find that I do this funnily enough, and although it feels like a lot is there even after you've been 5-10 minutes ago, there isn't much. I don't know what it is - maybe a slightly weaker bladder than average?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by SeanFM)
    I find that I do this funnily enough, and although it feels like a lot is there even after you've been 5-10 minutes ago, there isn't much. I don't know what it is - maybe a slightly weaker bladder than average?
    Thats mean altbough you may be saying it in a jokey way
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    I sort of have this since mine isn't as severe and it's more 'situational' anxiety like all my other triggers.

    I would go see your gp to be referred to a psychiatrist. They won't judge you for what you have, I once went in because I created a cyst using a clothes peg (totally wasn't awkward). I went for an aspergers rediagnosis and the people in CAMS are nice and do help a lot.

    For my other anxieties I internally say why I shouldn't worry about something or to say why I don't need to do something.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thats mean altbough you may be saying it in a jokey way
    How so?
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    You can message me if you want, totally confidential. I'm not saying that I can make this better, as other people have said only a doctor can help you do that but I've been through something similar and dealt with it to a degree, it might help you to feel like you're not alone in this.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Vikingninja)
    I sort of have this since mine isn't as severe and it's more 'situational' anxiety like all my other triggers.

    I would go see your gp to be referred to a psychiatrist. They won't judge you for what you have, I once went in because I created a cyst using a clothes peg (totally wasn't awkward). I went for an aspergers rediagnosis and the people in CAMS are nice and do help a lot.

    For my other anxieties I internally say why I shouldn't worry about something or to say why I don't need to do something.
    Oh okay
    I hope your better thanks your advice helped
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by pineneedles)
    You can message me if you want, totally confidential. I'm not saying that I can make this better, as other people have said only a doctor can help you do that but I've been through something similar and dealt with it to a degree, it might help you to feel like you're not alone in this.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Hey thanks ive messaged you
 
 
 
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