Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Stepsister is 8 years old and has screaming tantrums like a toddler Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    At my wits end. My mum recently re married this guy and I split my time between her and my dad's. He has 3 kids, eldest is 17 and youngest is 8. There is not one day, maybe not even a few hours that can go by without the 8 year old having screaming fits if she doesn't get her own way - she will actually make these ear piercing screams that resemble a newborn baby crying and be rude to my Mum telling her stuff like 'I hate you! I WANT MY MUMMY!!! I WANT MY MUMMY!!!!!' etc, she will also throw so many things, toys, ornaments and stuff that they make dents and holes in the walls, my stepdad usually tries to calm her down whenever this happens but it takes a lot of work. Even if we're in the supermarket or somewhere in public she will start screaming and crying for the smallest thing like someone not answering her right away about something, like she will go 'dad, daddy, daddy? DADDY?!!! DADDY!!!! ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!' and start screaming her head off until her dad goes 'Hey! hey! Stop it! Stop screaming! What
    do you want?.' The few hours/days in which she is pleasant is only when people do exactly as she says and give her stuff when she wants it. I'm currently spending more time at my dad's place because I'm revising for exams and honestly my youngest stepsister makes the atmosphere at my mum's place so tense and everyone walks on eggshells. Even when she talks its usually in a loud/shouting voice and she usually wants something or else she'll start screaming within 5 minutes if someone doesn't do/give her what she wants. Last Christmas was the first I spent with my mum, my new stepdad and his family. Youngest stepsister had a massive 3 hour tantrum that ruined the celebrations because she didn't get all the toys she wanted. Apparently she's been tested for ADHD and other disorders but she has nothing. My mum and stepdad are both worried because of her behaviour, she has been in trouble at school a lot with teachers as well apparently. And in 3 years she will start secondary school. My stepdad has commented that she was pretty much like this all the time because his ex wife always spoilt their children a lot and also that the divorce made her behaviour worse. Does anyone know if this is normal behaviour for an 8 year old or she's just a spoilt brat? I personally think it's the second option but it would be nice to get some insight.

    That doesn't sound like ADHD (not that you should cancel out other things, some disorders don't get picked up straight away), but that doesn't sound regular either. (I have one brother with ADHD and another who happens to be eight). All children can throw tantrums from time to time, and they can even be thrown up into teenage years, but it's generally not normal for it to happen at such slight provocations. However, I also know from having divorced parents and a mum who went from boyfriend to boyfriend that it took both me and my brothers A LOT of time to adjust each time a new one moved in when we were younger, and she probably just sees that all of a sudden she's not 'number one' in her dad's world and now she has to share that title and she's confused. Not that I have any right to tell any parent what to do, but my advice is that no matter how unbearable her screaming may be, let her get it all out and don't give in until she gives up. It might be hard and upsetting for a parent to hear their child scream like that, but they're so much smarter than you think at that age and know exactly how to get through to get what they want. Right now she knows that screaming = getting it, so repeatedly making sure that she understands that it's different now is probably the best thing you can do right now.
    Good luck with your new family and I hope things settle down for you soon.
    I hope this helps?

    http://i.imgur.com/P0GPM.gifProbably just wants attention though since this is a big change in her life and she might just feel threatened. Also need to put that into paragraphs, I ain't reading' though all that.
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 14, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you rather give up salt or pepper?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.