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Unitentionally starving myself? watch

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    So I've had an eating disorder for 5 years or so and I was finally getting better and starting to recover and have a healthy relationship with food and was eating around 1300 calories (it's still not enough I know but it's a hell of a lot better than the 600 I was on)

    Anyways.. I recently started a new job and I work 11:30/9... I get an hour (usually at 4) for lunch where I have 2x Ham sandwiches, a yoghurt, a cereal bar, an orange kit kat, a banana and a pack of crisps.

    Because I don't get home until around 10pm I don't have an evening meal and I hate having breakfast. I literally get up, get ready and go. The only thing I eat per day is my lunch

    The store I work in is quite big and to get from my floor to the staff canteen there's around 30 flights of stairs to the top and I've been making myself walk up instead of taking the lift just so I can burn extra calories.

    I can see i'm starting to drop weight again and its bringing back all of those feelings of starving myself probably because i'm seeing results...But I'm happy and it's just making me want to have less for my lunch so I lose weight faster..

    What do I do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've had an eating disorder for 5 years or so and I was finally getting better and starting to recover and have a healthy relationship with food and was eating around 1300 calories (it's still not enough I know but it's a hell of a lot better than the 600 I was on)

    Anyways.. I recently started a new job and I work 11:30/9... I get an hour (usually at 4) for lunch where I have 2x Ham sandwiches, a yoghurt, a cereal bar, an orange kit kat, a banana and a pack of crisps.

    Because I don't get home until around 10pm I don't have an evening meal and I hate having breakfast. I literally get up, get ready and go. The only thing I eat per day is my lunch

    The store I work in is quite big and to get from my floor to the staff canteen there's around 30 flights of stairs to the top and I've been making myself walk up instead of taking the lift just so I can burn extra calories.

    I can see i'm starting to drop weight again and its bringing back all of those feelings of starving myself probably because i'm seeing results...But I'm happy and it's just making me want to have less for my lunch so I lose weight faster..

    What do I do?
    Look back on when you were unwell with your eating disorder, write down everything maybe and convince that ration part of yourself (which is obviously there if you can recognise this) that starving yourself would be stupid. Maybe try a hot drink before bed, a hot chocolate or a cup a soup adds calories but its quick and easy and won't feel like a full on meal. I am a breakfast hater too but now i have a snack at 11 instead, not something stodgy though. I hate feeling really full and weighed down in the morning. I know its childish but i like frubes (squeeze yogurts) because they are quick and easy, or i just take a piece of fruit. Don't let the eating disorder over take your rational thinking, you're not stupid you know what your body needs so please try to look after it
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    See a specialist doctor about this. Because at the end of the day while the people here are going to give good advice, odds are none of us are actually qualified to help you. Get someone that knows what they're doing to help.

    Personally I think you should build it up. You say you hate having breakfast, try eating something small and building it up gradually until you're eating a decent sized meal.

    As far as dinner goes, is your hour for lunch the only break you get? If I was working a 9 hour shift I'd get a 30 minute break plus my hour for lunch (unpaid). This would be on a 7-4 shift so I'd get half an hour for breakfast in the morning and an hour for lunch sometime in the afternoon. See exactly what breaks you're entitled to. If you aren't allowed anything besides the hour (which raises other issues) then see if you can split it. Take half an hour around 2 for lunch and half an hour around 5/6 for dinner. That way you schedule time to 2 meals.

    Failing that see if you are able to adapt or change your hours to suit you better. You need to eat and if your work hours are affecting your health then you need to do something about that.
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    It's quite obvious what you need to do - challenge it! Lapses are common but you need to fight back and turn it around before things get out of hand. You can't have been happy, though your eating disorder will make you look through rose tinted glasses at those times. It's really not worth it, all the exhaustion, bad moods and sleepless nights just aren't what you want. You just need to be real with yourself, or open up to someone close to you/at work so they can keep an eye on you and make sure you aren't doing things you shouldn't (like climbing so many stairs and skipping meals), and squeeze in more calorie dense foods or drinks throughout the day. Can you sneak off to the toilet for a snack for 10 minutes? Or try having smoothies for breakfast, I always found liquids easier in the morning, and it's just a way to keep you on track. you'll probably think you don't want to turn it around, but your eating disorder is lying to you because it wants to win - don't let it! the more you feed yourself the better your healthy mind will function and you'll be able to think about things more rationally xx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've had an eating disorder for 5 years or so and I was finally getting better and starting to recover and have a healthy relationship with food and was eating around 1300 calories (it's still not enough I know but it's a hell of a lot better than the 600 I was on)

    Anyways.. I recently started a new job and I work 11:30/9... I get an hour (usually at 4) for lunch where I have 2x Ham sandwiches, a yoghurt, a cereal bar, an orange kit kat, a banana and a pack of crisps.

    Because I don't get home until around 10pm I don't have an evening meal and I hate having breakfast. I literally get up, get ready and go. The only thing I eat per day is my lunch

    The store I work in is quite big and to get from my floor to the staff canteen there's around 30 flights of stairs to the top and I've been making myself walk up instead of taking the lift just so I can burn extra calories.

    I can see i'm starting to drop weight again and its bringing back all of those feelings of starving myself probably because i'm seeing results...But I'm happy and it's just making me want to have less for my lunch so I lose weight faster..

    What do I do?
    I don't have any experience with any eating disorders so I don't know specifics.
    I do know that mental health problems of any kind are very pesonal and anything that helps one person may have a different affect on another person so for starters i'd suggest looking back on what helped you before and trying that. Dropping back in on some therapy or counselling isn't a bad idea to nip it in the bud if you feel like it's coming back. I assume it probably started gradually before so although this is probably just a short relapse due to the change of jobs or something do treat it seriously and be aware that it could escalate like last time.
    But also remember that last time you were unprepared and didn't know what you were facing, this time you have experience to use and know what could be coming and how to face it.

    I suggest that you try to eat as much as you can (probably obvious). Either try to put more into your lunch or try to add in more meals. Maybe even a milkshake or smoothie in the morning before work or when you get home. I immaging this will be harder to do in reality than it sounds and I think if I tried to suggest anything on the mh side of things i'd just get it wrong so i'm going to avoid that issue (but suggest you look into that either how you did last time or another way).
    Your lunches are good and well balanced for A meal, but since you don't have any other food it's just not going to be enough (you know that though). It sounds like you have made a lot of progress so far which means you are totally capable of doing it again. Just try to add things in slowly and in a way that works for you. Don't try to push yourself into some massive change straight away because it will just make you feel bad when it gets too much.
    Maybe try to add in a little something when you get home (or in the morning) like another sandwich or banana to get you used to the idea of eating at other times.
    Another option would be a meal replacement shake which will give you all the goodness of a meal but might not trigger you in the same way eating would.

    I think it could be a good idea to touch base with a doctor and have a look at how you can a) keep the progress you have already made and b) continue to make progress.

    I hope that was helpful at least a little bit and i'm sorry I couldn't help more. Good luck. You are clearly strong to have come this far so remember that and be proud of what you have already achieved.
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    (Original post by Acsel)

    As far as dinner goes, is your hour for lunch the only break you get? If I was working a 9 hour shift I'd get a 30 minute break plus my hour for lunch (unpaid). This would be on a 7-4 shift so I'd get half an hour for breakfast in the morning and an hour for lunch sometime in the afternoon. See exactly what breaks you're entitled to. If you aren't allowed anything besides the hour (which raises other issues) then see if you can split it. Take half an hour around 2 for lunch and half an hour around 5/6 for dinner. That way you schedule time to 2 meals.
    .
    I get 2 15 minutes and an hour... so I usually get 15 minutes at 2, then an hour at 4 then 15 minutes at around half six, we're not allowed to split breaks =/ But the 15 minutes isn't usually enough time to get upstairs, eat and get back down
 
 
 
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