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need advice

my bf keeps asking me "is everything okay? / babe are you home yet?" and being quite ... clingy and i dont like it. Most the time i with friends having a good time and then i get a message and it puts me in a bad mood. I have spoken to my mum about it but i dont know what to do i have spoken to him about it but its made it worse. I get really upset about it because i just want to have fun without him messaging me 24/7
If he keeps messaging you 24/7, is he worried you might do something like cheat ?
If talking to him about it doesn't work then maybe try not replying to his messages which will maybe show him how much you don't like it.
Original post by happiness12
If he keeps messaging you 24/7, is he worried you might do something like cheat ?
If talking to him about it doesn't work then maybe try not replying to his messages which will maybe show him how much you don't like it.


no a good idea. things may get ugly due to him possibly being possessive and controlling.
Original post by happiness12
If he keeps messaging you 24/7, is he worried you might do something like cheat ?
If talking to him about it doesn't work then maybe try not replying to his messages which will maybe show him how much you don't like it.


Thank you! The only problem is he knows i have been cheated on twice and he knows i would never do such a thing but he is really insecure and i know he doesn't trust me enough. I dont know if the best thing to do is think of my happiness and end it?
Original post by Arvin Bhambra
no a good idea. things may get ugly due to him possibly being possessive and controlling.


All of my friends have noticed it i just i dont even know how to handle it anymore.
He needs to get his own friends
Original post by autumnjadexx
Thank you! The only problem is he knows i have been cheated on twice and he knows i would never do such a thing but he is really insecure and i know he doesn't trust me enough. I don't know if the best thing to do is think of my happiness and end it?


A relationship should be built up on trust so maybe try telling him that?
If that doesn't work then take a break from the relationship. Live your Life! Have fun!!!
How would he react to breaking up though?
Original post by shawn_o1
He needs to get his own friends


what do u mean? i feel like he doesnt go out with friends cause he wants to know im okay but its too much
You need to talk to him and explain, how uncomfy you feel amd the changes he needs to make to reach a compromise. If he wont or cant then you have to make your own mind up.
Original post by happiness12
A relationship should be built up on trust so maybe try telling him that?
If that doesn't work then take a break from the relationship. Live your Life! Have fun!!!
How would he react to breaking up though?


Thank you i will try that next time. His reaction wouldnt be very good but id just have to stay friends. i need to think of my happiness and i need to live my life thanks!!
Original post by 999tigger
You need to talk to him and explain, how uncomfy you feel amd the changes he needs to make to reach a compromise. If he wont or cant then you have to make your own mind up.


Thank you i will try that too. Just need to put it in a way that doesnt make him think im trying to change him
Original post by autumnjadexx
Thank you i will try that too. Just need to put it in a way that doesnt make him think im trying to change him


Thats why its a compromise.

Tell bf you like him, but lately behaviour x is getting a bit mych for you and making you feel claustraphobic. Can you find a balance where its ok to contact, but not overdone?

He has to listen and take it in or he doesnt. If he doesnt or is unwilling to listen , see your side or be bothered how it makes you feel, then that reflects on him. Easy fopr you to make a choice then.
Dump him. You're welcome.
Original post by 999tigger
Thats why its a compromise.

Tell bf you like him, but lately behaviour x is getting a bit mych for you and making you feel claustraphobic. Can you find a balance where its ok to contact, but not overdone?

He has to listen and take it in or he doesnt. If he doesnt or is unwilling to listen , see your side or be bothered how it makes you feel, then that reflects on him. Easy fopr you to make a choice then.


thank you so much
Original post by autumnjadexx
thank you so much


Of you deal with it straight , then he knows. Give him a way out i.e its not a dumping and uts not just a moan, but you tell him how you feel and just try and reach a compromise that you both find ok. You can see if he acts disinterested or unbothered about soemthing which does bother you, then it becomes an easy choice. That means you dont have to stress yourself becayse you are trying to resolve it and you want to see if he values your feelings or the relationship enough , then he is ready to do the same. Sorry if thats obvious.

If you dump him then he cant say he hasn't been given the opporunity to sort it.
(edited 7 years ago)
Have you done anything for him not to trust you?

He may be overly caring, in which case you need to assert yourself and make it clear you want to have your own space. If he doesn't respect that then you need to rethink if you want to be in a relationship with him.

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