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How to get taking to a girl I sit next to? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hi,

    I've been sitting next to this girl in geography since the start of the school year. It wasn't vouluntary; we were put in a seating plan. We've both worked really well and are on target for high grades, sitting next to her has probably been the best thing for my geography GCSE aha. But it's pretty awkward, because neither of us talk very much, when we do its usually just about the work. I haven't had a massive problem with that until now; yeah it's been quiet and a little uncomfortable, but i can be so productive.

    Recently, however, I've started to realise that I might like her, she seems really nice but I want to get talking to her so I could get to know her more. But I just have no idea how to start these conversations, and certainly not how to ever progress towards asking her out. Any advice on how to do any of these things would be so helpful and appreciated.

    Thanks
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    Are you in year 10?
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    I would give you advice, but the same thing is happening to me, so clearly my methods are not working.
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    (Original post by penelopecrux)
    Are you in year 10?
    He's the teacher
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    (Original post by Hype en Ecosse)
    He's the teacher
    Are you French?
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    (Original post by Hype en Ecosse)
    He's the teacher
    Doesn't surprise me in the slightest to see the brony suggesting paedophilia/attraction to minors
    • #2
    #2

    I know it sounds slightly cringey but if your talking about geography lets say the effect of tourism (I dropped geography a while ago so I'm sorry if it's totally irrelevant) and you were talking about particular place, you could slowly merge into a conversation so by saying something like "It's meant to be really nice in____, i really want to go there someday" and then just gradually ask questions like "Do you have a favourite place you would like to go to" but don't make it sound like an interview or really fake, try to make sound as casual as possible. So basically try and find links to something less academic based and more about you and her. I know it sounds really cheesy and it will start off being slightly awkward with stunted answers but along the way you'll probably feel more relaxed so it will be more casual. I'm awful at starting conversations but sometimes for a second I have to think- well.. what have I got to lose and I almost pretend for a second to be a more extroverted person and simply ask a question or something in the spur of the moment, but then return to my usual self after the conversations got going so maybe be an 'actor' for literally a second to get talking to her. Be gentle in introducing your personality as well, if that makes sense, don't get carried away with the fact that you're actually talking to her and start telling her loads about you, as weird as it sounds it could be overwhelming, But equally don't shy away who you are, this could create a wall between you both blocking off your option of getting to know her. Hopefully you'll get to know her, and when you feel there's a close enough bond go for it and ask her out, if she says yes great, if she says no she says no- I know it will be incredibly heart breaking if this happens, but you won't know her answer if you don't ask. Hope that helps!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it sounds slightly cringey but if your talking about geography lets say the effect of tourism (I dropped geography a while ago so I'm sorry if it's totally irrelevant) and you were talking about particular place, you could slowly merge into a conversation so by saying something like "It's meant to be really nice in____, i really want to go there someday" and then just gradually ask questions like "Do you have a favourite place you would like to go to" but don't make it sound like an interview or really fake, try to make sound as casual as possible. So basically try and find links to something less academic based and more about you and her. I know it sounds really cheesy and it will start off being slightly awkward with stunted answers but along the way you'll probably feel more relaxed so it will be more casual. I'm awful at starting conversations but sometimes for a second I have to think- well.. what have I got to lose and I almost pretend for a second to be a more extroverted person and simply ask a question or something in the spur of the moment, but then return to my usual self after the conversations got going so maybe be an 'actor' for literally a second to get talking to her. Be gentle in introducing your personality as well, if that makes sense, don't get carried away with the fact that you're actually talking to her and start telling her loads about you, as weird as it sounds it could be overwhelming, But equally don't shy away who you are, this could create a wall between you both blocking off your option of getting to know her. Hopefully you'll get to know her, and when you feel there's a close enough bond go for it and ask her out, if she says yes great, if she says no she says no- I know it will be incredibly heart breaking if this happens, but you won't know her answer if you don't ask. Hope that helps!
    That was a terrible suggestion. No wonder you're awful at starting conversations.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by fr0sr_)
    That was a terrible suggestion. No wonder you're awful at starting conversations.
    I know... but if someone has little confidence or is feeling nervous then surely it's just a start otherwise they'll end up feeling more distant from the person. What's your suggestion?
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    I have always found "Hello" works well for me.

    Following the hello I would suggest just talking about class work, weekend plans or really anything that comes to your mind that you can't imagine getting slapped or screamed at for.

    If you really panic you can even start talking about the weather. It's a long British tradition for making chit chat when you've exactly **** all to say to each other.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know... but if someone has little confidence or is feeling nervous then surely it's just a start otherwise they'll end up feeling more distant from the person. What's your suggestion?
    My suggestion is merely to talk.

    In more detail, I mean that he should just start saying "hey" to her when he sees her in that lesson, asking how she is, what she got up to at the weekend, that sorta s**t. From that on, you'll notice her interests ('cos she'll do them during the weekend), ask questions about them every so often - if you "click" conversation will begin to flow easily.

    e.g. If she says she went out to a house party and got hammered, ask her what sorta drinks shes into, or where the party was, you know the sort.
    • #3
    #3

    You dont have any confidence... Thats why its been so quiet. If you were confident you would just speak what you think and not worry about what you say which is what you are doing. You arent being yourself unless you are naturally quiet. First unless you start talking to her naturally and confidently, you wont get any girl. Thats just a general rule. Dont listen to these guys above... they dont knoww what they are talking about.

    (Original post by fr0sr_)
    My suggestion is merely to talk.

    In more detail, I mean that he should just start saying "hey" to her when he sees her in that lesson, asking how she is, what she got up to at the weekend, that sorta s**t. From that on, you'll notice her interests ('cos she'll do them during the weekend), ask questions about them every so often - if you "click" conversation will begin to flow easily.

    e.g. If she says she went out to a house party and got hammered, ask her what sorta drinks shes into, or where the party was, you know the sort.
    (Original post by Elivercury)
    I have always found "Hello" works well for me.

    Following the hello I would suggest just talking about class work, weekend plans or really anything that comes to your mind that you can't imagine getting slapped or screamed at for.

    If you really panic you can even start talking about the weather. It's a long British tradition for making chit chat when you've exactly **** all to say to each other.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it sounds slightly cringey but if your talking about geography lets say the effect of tourism (I dropped geography a while ago so I'm sorry if it's totally irrelevant) and you were talking about particular place, you could slowly merge into a conversation so by saying something like "It's meant to be really nice in____, i really want to go there someday" and then just gradually ask questions like "Do you have a favourite place you would like to go to" but don't make it sound like an interview or really fake, try to make sound as casual as possible. So basically try and find links to something less academic based and more about you and her. I know it sounds really cheesy and it will start off being slightly awkward with stunted answers but along the way you'll probably feel more relaxed so it will be more casual. I'm awful at starting conversations but sometimes for a second I have to think- well.. what have I got to lose and I almost pretend for a second to be a more extroverted person and simply ask a question or something in the spur of the moment, but then return to my usual self after the conversations got going so maybe be an 'actor' for literally a second to get talking to her. Be gentle in introducing your personality as well, if that makes sense, don't get carried away with the fact that you're actually talking to her and start telling her loads about you, as weird as it sounds it could be overwhelming, But equally don't shy away who you are, this could create a wall between you both blocking off your option of getting to know her. Hopefully you'll get to know her, and when you feel there's a close enough bond go for it and ask her out, if she says yes great, if she says no she says no- I know it will be incredibly heart breaking if this happens, but you won't know her answer if you don't ask. Hope that helps!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You dont have any confidence... Thats why its been so quiet. If you were confident you would just speak what you think and not worry about what you say which is what you are doing. You arent being yourself unless you are naturally quiet. First unless you start talking to her naturally and confidently, you wont get any girl. Thats just a general rule. Dont listen to these guys above... they dont knoww what they are talking about.
    You clearly know so much you had to anon yourself to impart those words of wisdom. Would you mind sharing what makes you an expert in this field?

    How exactly should he gain confidence incidentally?

    Oh yes, by talking to girls and building up experience talking to girls.

    If we all waiting until we felt 100% confident doing something then none of us would ever do anything. As it happens, the rest of us just take a deep breath and get on with it - win or lose.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Elivercury)
    You clearly know so much you had to anon yourself to impart those words of wisdom. Would you mind sharing what makes you an expert in this field?

    How exactly should he gain confidence incidentally?

    Oh yes, by talking to girls and building up experience talking to girls.

    If we all waiting until we felt 100% confident doing something then none of us would ever do anything. As it happens, the rest of us just take a deep breath and get on with it - win or lose.
    Thats the point, win or lose he needs to do it but hes scared of losing. Without first working on his confidence (there are many ways) hes just gonna come off as awkward and whatever he says is going to feel rehearsed.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thats the point, win or lose he needs to do it but hes scared of losing. Without first working on his confidence (there are many ways) hes just gonna come off as awkward and whatever he says is going to feel rehearsed.
    He's 15/16, I doubt anyone is expecting a suave ladies man here, least of all the girl sat next to him. Sure, he probably will be slightly awkward, but then she might be also and they might hit it off. Nothing ventured.
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    (Original post by fr0sr_)
    Doesn't surprise me in the slightest to see the brony suggesting paedophilia/attraction to minors
    I haven't heard that one before.
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    Ignoring some of these comments, I'd advise you to start by talking about the Geography Topic and slowly lead away from that.
    It's very hard to give you advice, elaborate what you know about her and anything that can help us give you advice.
 
 
 
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