Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

People say I've no confidence but I feel the negativity comes from others/not me. Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I haveI tended to feel low in mood lately and although I've not been diagnosed with depression I have had anxiety in the past People tell me I've got low self esteem and need more self confidence but more often than not I think it is other people that point out my inadequacies so I'm confused at how I should be feeling, I don't know what I'm supposed to believe and think about myself. I qualified as a nurse and although I've done fine with the academic assignments etc I've struggled to assert myself on placements and use common sense. I had to retake my last placement as they said I lacked knowledge, was anxious and was asking questions that I should already have known at my stage of learning. I then stopped asking questions and they said that I needed to show more interest by asking questions lol. I passed eventually but basically all my inadequacies were revealed. I struggled to answer a phone call - a woman who worked there rang wanting to know the number to a gp. I'd forgotten how to find the GPs number on the computer it wasn't in obvious places I searched everywhere in a panic. She was annoyed and said 'well how do you do it for your patients then'. I was polite and tried to get help from the team but they told me to put her through to admin. I wasn't sure how to put a call through so gave her the number. She said I should be able to put her through and that I was very unprofessional, I just apologised and said thanks (didn't know what to say).

    My mentor found out about it and had been told that I couldn't put her through and grunted on the phone or something. She said that often she doesn't know how to put calls through but that I should have been able to help her. I passed eventually as I did assessments well but it's common sense things I can't do and I now have a phobia of phones lol. I've not got a job as a qualified nurse as I don't think I could handle it and the responsibility, that's just me being realistic I've decided I don't want to be a nurse anymore anyway. I don't have good social skills/have never had a circle of friends as I find it hard to talk and express myself. Sometimes I'm fine when relaxed but in other situations I clam up and find it that hard to talk freely I end up saying nothing like a little kid might.

    I've also been doing sports for the past 10 years despite comming last in races, I get put in middle distance events like 1500m for points for the team but nearly always come last, I'm nowhere near the same standard despite training but I always believe that il improve with training. I've also been training in pole vault on and off for 5 years and still can't grasp the basic technique (due to fear) that others have picked up after 6 weeks. I can get over the bar using an inadequate technique and have won competitions mainly cause there's only me and a few others not as strong as me that have entered. However even my coach asks why I still do it as i'l never be a decent vaulter, but then he still encourages me. I put it down to my fear/lack of motivation at times though and for some reason still have some belief i'l grasp it. I enjoy trying to improve.

    I work best alone and often do dopy things in front of people that people pick up on. One woman who knows me seriously said that if she saw me on a ward as a nurse she would walk back out. She has also told someone who was going to ask me for some health information (on blood pressure) not to ask me as I wouldn't know. She's also said I'm naive to people.

    So my basic question is people often tell me that I've no confidence /self esteem but then I feel I have lots of self belief and it's usually other people that tell me I'm inadequate in things. When feeling low people often advise you to stop the negative thinking but what if it's not you who is the one being negative, but the people around you? I'm in a low mood and trying to cheer myself up lol but am not sure how to. I'm just confused at what perspective I should have on things lol.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    anyone
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Right, if there's anything that frustrates me it's the words 'you're lacking confidence' - usually comes out of the mouths of people who are nothing but talk. Yes, someone can lack what you'd call 'confidence' or appear nervous but it's such a general statement. Don't doubt yourself because of potentially small minded people. They don't know what it's like to suffer from both anxiety and depression and trust me I know how you feel. Because of the anxiety/depression, you might do things sometimes that other people might perceive as being weak or even 'stupid'. That is in no way an indicator that you are 'inadequate'.

    Don't for a minute let anyone tell you that you're 'dopey' or that you shouldn't be on the ward. Just continue with your ambitions, don't for a second let any of that stop your career - just because someone thinks you are inadequate that doesn't necessarily mean there's any truth to it and a lot of people are so far up themselves or so overly egocentric they have no idea what they are saying. I honestly deal with this kind of criticism all the time because of my condition, and then watch jaws drop when I do really well considering how I come across to them.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I haveI tended to feel low in mood lately and although I've not been diagnosed with depression I have had anxiety in the past People tell me I've got low self esteem and need more self confidence but more often than not I think it is other people that point out my inadequacies so I'm confused at how I should be feeling, I don't know what I'm supposed to believe and think about myself. I qualified as a nurse and although I've done fine with the academic assignments etc I've struggled to assert myself on placements and use common sense. I had to retake my last placement as they said I lacked knowledge, was anxious and was asking questions that I should already have known at my stage of learning. I then stopped asking questions and they said that I needed to show more interest by asking questions lol. I passed eventually but basically all my inadequacies were revealed. I struggled to answer a phone call - a woman who worked there rang wanting to know the number to a gp. I'd forgotten how to find the GPs number on the computer it wasn't in obvious places I searched everywhere in a panic. She was annoyed and said 'well how do you do it for your patients then'. I was polite and tried to get help from the team but they told me to put her through to admin. I wasn't sure how to put a call through so gave her the number. She said I should be able to put her through and that I was very unprofessional, I just apologised and said thanks (didn't know what to say).

    My mentor found out about it and had been told that I couldn't put her through and grunted on the phone or something. She said that often she doesn't know how to put calls through but that I should have been able to help her. I passed eventually as I did assessments well but it's common sense things I can't do and I now have a phobia of phones lol. I've not got a job as a qualified nurse as I don't think I could handle it and the responsibility, that's just me being realistic I've decided I don't want to be a nurse anymore anyway. I don't have good social skills/have never had a circle of friends as I find it hard to talk and express myself. Sometimes I'm fine when relaxed but in other situations I clam up and find it that hard to talk freely I end up saying nothing like a little kid might.

    I've also been doing sports for the past 10 years despite comming last in races, I get put in middle distance events like 1500m for points for the team but nearly always come last, I'm nowhere near the same standard despite training but I always believe that il improve with training. I've also been training in pole vault on and off for 5 years and still can't grasp the basic technique (due to fear) that others have picked up after 6 weeks. I can get over the bar using an inadequate technique and have won competitions mainly cause there's only me and a few others not as strong as me that have entered. However even my coach asks why I still do it as i'l never be a decent vaulter, but then he still encourages me. I put it down to my fear/lack of motivation at times though and for some reason still have some belief i'l grasp it. I enjoy trying to improve.

    I work best alone and often do dopy things in front of people that people pick up on. One woman who knows me seriously said that if she saw me on a ward as a nurse she would walk back out. She has also told someone who was going to ask me for some health information (on blood pressure) not to ask me as I wouldn't know. She's also said I'm naive to people.

    So my basic question is people often tell me that I've no confidence /self esteem but then I feel I have lots of self belief and it's usually other people that tell me I'm inadequate in things. When feeling low people often advise you to stop the negative thinking but what if it's not you who is the one being negative, but the people around you? I'm in a low mood and trying to cheer myself up lol but am not sure how to. I'm just confused at what perspective I should have on things lol.
    So much reading, but confidence will grow as you grow up at 16.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 25, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brexit voters: Do you stand by your vote?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.