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    Hello! It's my first time posting on the Student Room. Please be gentle!
    Well, anyway, after dropping out of University during my first year, I was under considerable pressure to find a job and pay back my parents. I now have 3 jobs which takes some considerable organisation on my behalf. I've repaid my parents in full. I have also galvanised myself into reapplying to university and have an unconditional offer from Edinburgh, which I'll be financing myself. I do a fair bit of housework, am the only one who actually considers my mum and in terms of attitude and behaviour I'm really not a hassle (unlike my chode of a brother). I also pay for all my clothes, public transport and any socialising.
    Now, here goes, are my parents being unreasonable?
    - keep making digs that I should pay rent. I offer - they won't let me. None of my 23+ colleagues do this and they all live at home
    - keep telling me to make my own way to my jobs. Of course I would but we live in one extremely isolated county (their choice) and all of places of work & education are in the next one! I have happily offered to pay petrol- they won't let me!
    - keep telling me to learn how to drive. I have more than happily said I'd cover the cost of driving lessons for myself and contribute significantly to the cost on my parents insurance. I just need them to put me on it!
    - Act as if I am asking for a lot if I suggest going for a walk somewhere nice, or a drive or visiting a new city. They are seriously incredulous.
    - my dad recently lost his job so has literally sweet feck all to do. They both still moan if I ask for lifts.
    Usually they like to tell me to '**** off to University if I dare moan' hahaha
    Please bear in mind that I love my parents and I don't for one minute think that I've had a hard life...it's just I think in this case they're being unreasonable.
    Thanks in advance!
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    they're not being unreasonable... if you're working full time then you should be paying rent and you definitely shouldn't be expecting your parents to keep driving you to work, get your own car/insurance - perhaps they don't want a learner on their insurance or think you'll be just as entitled in your attitude towards borrowing their car, it's not your parents fault you live in the middle of nowhere, if you're an adult you are choosing to live there

    also, if you suggest a trip it's polite to pay for it, saying 'shall we all go out for the day, by the way you have to drive etc' is not completely mitigated by the fact you're offering petrol money
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    (Original post by Pickler)
    Hello! It's my first time posting on the Student Room. Please be gentle!
    Well, anyway, after dropping out of University during my first year, I was under considerable pressure to find a job and pay back my parents. I now have 3 jobs which takes some considerable organisation on my behalf. I've repaid my parents in full. I have also galvanised myself into reapplying to university and have an unconditional offer from Edinburgh, which I'll be financing myself. I do a fair bit of housework, am the only one who actually considers my mum and in terms of attitude and behaviour I'm really not a hassle (unlike my chode of a brother). I also pay for all my clothes, public transport and any socialising.
    Now, here goes, are my parents being unreasonable?
    - keep making digs that I should pay rent. I offer - they won't let me. None of my 23+ colleagues do this and they all live at home
    - keep telling me to make my own way to my jobs. Of course I would but we live in one extremely isolated county (their choice) and all of places of work & education are in the next one! I have happily offered to pay petrol- they won't let me!
    - keep telling me to learn how to drive. I have more than happily said I'd cover the cost of driving lessons for myself and contribute significantly to the cost on my parents insurance. I just need them to put me on it!
    - Act as if I am asking for a lot if I suggest going for a walk somewhere nice, or a drive or visiting a new city. They are seriously incredulous.
    - my dad recently lost his job so has literally sweet feck all to do. They both still moan if I ask for lifts.
    Usually they like to tell me to '**** off to University if I dare moan' hahaha
    Please bear in mind that I love my parents and I don't for one minute think that I've had a hard life...it's just I think in this case they're being unreasonable.
    Thanks in advance!
    The first thought that came into mind when you said that was covering yourself with something xD oh how chemistry reminds me of all this

    Let me clarify that your parents imply that you should pay rent and when you offer to do so they refuse??? wtf??
    That's fair enough you don't have the power to change the country lol
    Well for this one if you want to drive and think it's useful in your life then sure go ahead but if you're unsure then it's probably best not to waste time and money on it although i myself do recommend learning how to drive, simply because it's a very useful skill. Also if they refuse to put you on it and you want to do it then you should look for some driving companies which will help you with that, RED driving school is one i think i use
    mess, but tbh personally i don't really wanna leave the house lol unless it's absolutely necessary, just pitiful excuses not to go
    wait a second lemme recap, so your dad lost his job has nothing to do yet has the bloody balls to ask you to help pay rent? c'mon gimme a rest that lazy mofo should look for work instead of trying to leach off you

    yea they are being unreasonable because they see you're more successful at life than they are currently? so maybe they're trying to get you to do everything for them instead but then again maybe you could slowly start paying them back for the life they've helped you to get so far?
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    they're not being unreasonable... if you're working full time then you should be paying rent and you definitely shouldn't be expecting your parents to keep driving you to work, get your own car/insurance - perhaps they don't want a learner on their insurance or think you'll be just as entitled in your attitude towards borrowing their car, it's not your parents fault you live in the middle of nowhere, if you're an adult you are choosing to live there

    also, if you suggest a trip it's polite to pay for it, saying 'shall we all go out for the day, by the way you have to drive etc' is not completely mitigated by the fact you're offering petrol money
    Hi thanks for replying! With regards to thimgs like rent I have said I am happy to pay them!! I could withdraw the money for things like rent, car insurance etc and press it into their palms but they wouldn't take it. Like I said, I do not think that I am entitled to lifts - I am happy to pay and do more than my fair share of housework... Oh and of course I offer to pay for myself and others when we go on trips!! Honestly I'm not a freeloader! My mum is adamant that I go on her car insurance so that I can practise as much as possible in her car. I understand that I must come across as a very entitled, spoilt teenager with a comfortable way of life - in some ways yes I am. But my parents know I'm happy to pay for things which would make their lives easier but they just won't accept it! Some parts of me think that this is out of spite so they can hold something they do for me against me (I.e lifts) but like I said I do love them and I know they're not like that. Please bear in mind that: I cook for everyone, I clean, I am the sole caree of the dog, I iron for everyone, I lend money to anyone who needs it, I'm polite and I do things with good grace, I pay for things like my own food, public transport (if any is available - much of the time their isn't). I'm not some lard arsed teenager who does **** all, watches shite like Love Island and Big Brother all day and spends their money. I am trying to be as independent as possible - it's them who prevent it and them who like to tell me to **** off when I ask for one Favour - lifts. Sorry for the long winded reply. Thanks for replying.
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    (Original post by dskinner)
    The first thought that came into mind when you said that was covering yourself with something xD oh how chemistry reminds me of all this

    Let me clarify that your parents imply that you should pay rent and when you offer to do so they refuse??? wtf??
    That's fair enough you don't have the power to change the country lol
    Well for this one if you want to drive and think it's useful in your life then sure go ahead but if you're unsure then it's probably best not to waste time and money on it although i myself do recommend learning how to drive, simply because it's a very useful skill. Also if they refuse to put you on it and you want to do it then you should look for some driving companies which will help you with that, RED driving school is one i think i use
    mess, but tbh personally i don't really wanna leave the house lol unless it's absolutely necessary, just pitiful excuses not to go
    wait a second lemme recap, so your dad lost his job has nothing to do yet has the bloody balls to ask you to help pay rent? c'mon gimme a rest that lazy mofo should look for work instead of trying to leach off you

    yea they are being unreasonable because they see you're more successful at life than they are currently? so maybe they're trying to get you to do everything for them instead but then again maybe you could slowly start paying them back for the life they've helped you to get so far?
    Hi thanks for replying!! My parents don't want to leach off me per se, they are very supportive of me...it's just that I ask one favour and they are outraged hahah!!
    Oh btw thanks for the driving school recommendation!!
 
 
 
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