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How to deal with the death of a loved one?

Title speaks for itself, any tips?

I'm constantly trying to forget about it by just acting like there's nothing wrong, however it isn't helping :frown:

Reply 1

DrNick2006

10

How close was the loved one?

Actually that's unclear- I mean, parent, grandparent etc?

Reply 2

Vesta

18

Sorry about your loss :frown:

Try

http://www.natbp.org.uk/pdf/Poster.pdf

They will give you all the support you need.

http://www.caringinfo.org/ is also quite good.

Good luck with everything :p:

Reply 3

iainmacn

10

Go with it - you'll go through all sorts of emotions, just accept that as part of the process of grieving.

Don't try and pretend it hasn't happened

Reply 4

x_Loll_x

5

Sorry to here about your loss.Time really is a healer.

Reply 5

Bubblebee

15

You cry alot, and get moments when you think it is so unfair, you get the guilt of knowing how much time you wasted, you think how awful it is your children won't know them, you cry some more when you see random things that remind you of them... but eventually the rawness begins to heal (cue more guilt about now feeling enough greif) then you just have to trust that they enjoyed the life they led and hope something better is waiting for them.

Reply 6

Sundous

OP

1

DrNick2006

How close was the loved one?

Actually that's unclear- I mean, parent, grandparent etc?

I find it rather difficult to talk about it but it is a very close relative of mine and he died when I was 13, since then I'm having difficulties forgetting about it and sometimes I just cry days long, or sometimes I just start crying for no reason

Thank you all :smile:

!

Reply 7

Artemidoros.

3

Sorry to hear, though time will heal such sodden wounds, I lost my mother when I was younger as well.

Reply 8

Sakapaka

2 of my friends died when i was a kid, you will get over it.

Reply 9

tinypony

Death sucks, but it awaits us all.

Reply 10

NickNack

1

everyone has different ways of coping unfortunately. Some people can cope really well with it, others can take years. It may help if u try to understand what ur own beliefs in death are. But it will hurt only for as long as it's supposed to hurt, there are no shortcuts.

Reply 11

love_mojitos

2

No point acting as if nothing is wrong when something is. Someone has died, you are grieving, you have suffered a loss. You need to find a way to be able to cope, come to terms. How are other people acting?

Reply 12

sarCAZm

11

Being the emotionally crippled eprson I am, I went with the lines of "Everythign happens for a reason" never even cried.
And that worked for me.

My friends, they're more the crying sort of people. Who eventually choose the "with me in spirit" line of thought.

Reply 13

ßlαcksωαn

17

Well I'm sure you're not 13 now, so its been a few years maybe? I think pushing the greiving process under the mat just makes things worse. You need at attack the issue from the core. Go to counselling if you think that would help. :smile:

Reply 14

Evil Phoenix

2

Maybe you need to acknowledge the pain and live it fully, then let some time pass by :smile:

humans have an inherent ability to heal

Reply 15

Angelil

19

Maybe you can make a scrapbook about them if you think it would help? Get pictures and other things that remind you of the person, maybe even write a poem or a story about them (even if you don't normally write, it'll make you feel better). Write little scraps that you can stick in about days out that you went on with them, funny things they used to say or do etc. It's a real project that you can throw yourself into, it'll make you feel better and bring out the positives of the person that you lost and what you gained from knowing them. Then if there's anyone around that you can show it to and talk about it with, that'll help you too.

Reply 16

diafolgwyllt

i dont now wether this will help or not as i dont know much about how the relative died and stuff but i understand that it is hard for you to talk about it however i do know that you were really close to this person try and think of the postiteves i may not seem like there is any but think if the person had been really ill for ages then just think at least they are out of pain and suffering also dont hide your emotions let them show if you feel like crying then cry dont be ashamed when my grandfather died i had to have counselling it helped me loads it gave the confidence to get my life back as normal as it could possibly be anyway hope this has helped you sorry to hear about the loss and sorry if this is no help

Reply 17

Sundous

OP

1

diafolgwyllt

i dont now wether this will help or not as i dont know much about how the relative died and stuff but i understand that it is hard for you to talk about it however i do know that you were really close to this person try and think of the postiteves i may not seem like there is any but think if the person had been really ill for ages then just think at least they are out of pain and suffering also dont hide your emotions let them show if you feel like crying then cry dont be ashamed when my grandfather died i had to have counselling it helped me loads it gave the confidence to get my life back as normal as it could possibly be anyway hope this has helped you sorry to hear about the loss and sorry if this is no help

You don't have to be sorry, everything helps! And you're right, I wasn't handeling it all correctly and i know now how to deal with it! Sorry to hear about your loss to and I'm glad you are over it :wink:

Reply 18

h82think

14

Try to remember the good times

Reply 19

khil

15

Sundous

Title speaks for itself, any tips?

I'm constantly trying to forget about it by just acting like there's nothing wrong, however it isn't helping :frown:

Stop trying to forget and pretend that nothing's wrong. No, something IS wrong. Very wrong. And yes, it really hurts. And yes, your loved one is dead, he/she is not coming back. And no, there's nothing wrong with thinking about it, crying about it, and needing help with getting back to normal with your life. Something drastic has changed in your life and you've had a massive loss to your life. Honour his/her memory, remember him/her, and grieve. Sooner or later, you gotta go through grieving for your loved one. Bottling it up doesn't make the pain go away, and it doesn't make it untrue. The person is still gone. Nothing is all right. And it's ok to admit that. The hardest first step is probably accepting that it's happened.

Let yourself cry and grieve. Please don't bottle it up. You'll destroy yourself if you try to bottle it up. It's ok to grieve.

All the best :hugs:

How to deal with the death of a loved one?

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