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I have depression. And I'm starting to think it's never going to change. Watch

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    I'm 18 and I have literally just finished my A levels. I'm now stuck at home until September or even longer depending on whether I go to university.
    In some ways I hate the fact that I'm good at hiding how depressed i feel. When I'm with friends or im at work I've leaned to just fake a smile and everyone believes it. I lie about my life, I tell everyone that I'm okay, but I'm not.
    Does anyone else feel this way?
    I feel like life is a battle of having to impress everyone around me and if I make the wrong decision about something then that's it my life will be forever ruined.
    And I just want to point out that I have received a diagnosis for depression from my GP and I'm on antidepressants.
    Any support information or just talking to someone who feels the same way would be greatly appreciated.
    Thank you!
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    Hiya,

    It's like reading my own life, tbh, your post. Are you on a waiting list for therapy? How long have you been on ADs? :hugs:
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    It's difficult to come out as I have experienced with a few friends who are clinically diagnosed. Sometimes I can get caught up in a conversation about their day for hours and they always tell me how much of a relief it is to just talk to somebody without specifically talking about depression itself.

    One thing is for sure, everybody feels like they are out to impress people, it's in our nature. I just finished my first year at uni and now I have just over 3 months of summer to go through, it's a long holiday, but to get through it you need to find a hobby or just have long conversations with the people you love/are friends with at night. I always do this, talking to people is really the key to getting out of the spiral of depression. You will never be fully healed from depression, but you can push it back. Just to clarify, I myself do not have depression, but I have several friends who do. The one thing I see that is extremely damaging is blocking yourself out from the world occasionally, don't do this, it's a downward spiral, people are out there to help, people are there to talk to, you just need to let them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 18 and I have literally just finished my A levels. I'm now stuck at home until September or even longer depending on whether I go to university.
    In some ways I hate the fact that I'm good at hiding how depressed i feel. When I'm with friends or im at work I've leaned to just fake a smile and everyone believes it. I lie about my life, I tell everyone that I'm okay, but I'm not.
    Does anyone else feel this way?
    I feel like life is a battle of having to impress everyone around me and if I make the wrong decision about something then that's it my life will be forever ruined.
    And I just want to point out that I have received a diagnosis for depression from my GP and I'm on antidepressants.
    Any support information or just talking to someone who feels the same way would be greatly appreciated.
    Thank you!
    I'm a bit older than you and I never felt depression until I was 19 and felt forced to work in a job that might have a huge effect on the person I might become and I fled this hoping to go on to better things and it was difficult but the main thing was it was reality, it was real, this was the pressure of the real world and not the bubble of school or college and I wasn't prepared and deeply despise people around me who could have helped me a lot more and I would not have suffered as I did back then.

    What you need to do is find that something that is important to you and work on that.. maybe you could think of the smile of the little girl who is so happy to see her little dog on the mend but also you will have to be supportive of the family that aren't so lucky and lose a valued member and this is the life of a veterinary nurse and what is important to that nurse is caring for the vunerable, who can't help themselves.. understanding the happiness that pets bring to so many people and so dedicate themselves to being the best they can to providing that service to ensure that people have pets.. the pet food industry is a billion pound industry and so they want animals to eat.. and the government want people to get out and be healthy by taking their dog for a walk and so you see that you are an important cog in a complex machine.. whether it is serving popcorn at the cinema, where a grandfather is taking his grandchildren out to the cinema as he never gets to see them as they live on the other side of the country.. you are thinking of other people, you are thinking of that moment when that little girl smiles for getting her beloved pet back and those short seconds are the rewards for a life of dedication and hard work.

    You need to think of your life in context as you knew that one day you would be finishing your a-levels and would have a summer before going to university so you should have been planning in eagerness and excitement to go do something amazing! We live in a world where global travel is cheap and we have incredible opportunities available to us!

    You have work which is fantastic as it can be really difficult to find work for some people and more difficult as you get older so think of this job as important as a job you might have when you are older as you will recall the time when you worked at the coffee shop as a 18 year old and served a 1000 coffees in one day!

    So what do you have to look forward to? What a-levels did you do? You ever brainstorm to try to think outside of the box with what can do with those? If you live outside of London have you considered last minute deciding to go study there as London is an amazing place for a young person to be and learn and develop! So maybe you could go with some friends to stay in London for 2-3 days.. go shopping or go to the Royal Academy of Arts or the Science museum! You can get to London on the coach for like £10!

    You should be honest with yourself about who you are.. it's not some crazy complex person that no-one understands, it's your life it can be pretty simple.. you are supposed to eat and grow and reproduce and that's it! What is important to you? based on your a-level choices is an indication of what you can go on to do..

    Depression can be helped by being the protagonist in life and you phoning up a friend and asking them if they would like to go to a restaurant or in this weather.. a bike ride then a pint at the canal-side pub.. or trying to do different things.. like challenging a friend to a game of tennis or going to one of those trampoline parks, those are lot's of fun! Exercise is important, healthy body, healthy mind and exercise can take you away from overthinking which can lead to depression. Incorporating exercise into your social life is a great way to being healthy.

    Focus on a few friends and make them your solid go-to's, quality not quantity.. have a small get-together of a barbecue and some beers and talk about life plans.. where you want to go, what you want to see and do!

    There is always the future and you can always change things and I can assure you that as someone older that the world is going to change as you learn more about it, so pick up your boots, put on a smile and get out there and learn..!
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    Thank you very much for the kind and inspiring words. I am most appreciative. It's so nice to know there are people out there who do actually understand and care.
    Thank you again!
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    You're going to get through this, I promise :heart:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 18 and I have literally just finished my A levels. I'm now stuck at home until September or even longer depending on whether I go to university.
    In some ways I hate the fact that I'm good at hiding how depressed i feel. When I'm with friends or im at work I've leaned to just fake a smile and everyone believes it. I lie about my life, I tell everyone that I'm okay, but I'm not.
    Does anyone else feel this way?
    I feel like life is a battle of having to impress everyone around me and if I make the wrong decision about something then that's it my life will be forever ruined.
    And I just want to point out that I have received a diagnosis for depression from my GP and I'm on antidepressants.
    Any support information or just talking to someone who feels the same way would be greatly appreciated.
    Thank you!
    I think a lot of people probably feel that way. I know I feel that way. Everyday feels like it's an uphill struggle and it just seems more difficult and more difficult to go forward. You just have to do it. Giving up is dying. The greatest thing about life and this world is it's true everyday is a new day, everyday is a new beginning and with every day there is the possibility this will be the day that will change my life. I think the best things you can do is try to surround yourself with good and honest people so you can have a good support system in your life and exercise. I started jogging everyday and I honestly felt better. antidepressant were not the answer or solution for me. Good luck and I hope everything gets a little bit better for you each and every day. Life really is a wonderful thing to experience. Yes, there are some idiots who get on here NC mean and stupid things but I think there are some really good people on here who would love to talk and try to support you. You just have to understand that a lot of people feel the same as you do and you are not alone.
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    Sorry to be a party pooper but, imo, it never goes away, just gets more manageable, ergo, it could come back any time.

    Will it be as bad as it is now forever? Maybe, maybe not- but one thing that depression thrives on is false optimism. So thinking, "Yes, I am finally now not depressed" could be a way of, say, stopping taking meds then gettiing even more depressed than before.

    Stay strong.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 18 and I have literally just finished my A levels. I'm now stuck at home until September or even longer depending on whether I go to university.
    In some ways I hate the fact that I'm good at hiding how depressed i feel. When I'm with friends or im at work I've leaned to just fake a smile and everyone believes it. I lie about my life, I tell everyone that I'm okay, but I'm not.
    Does anyone else feel this way?
    I feel like life is a battle of having to impress everyone around me and if I make the wrong decision about something then that's it my life will be forever ruined.
    And I just want to point out that I have received a diagnosis for depression from my GP and I'm on antidepressants.
    Any support information or just talking to someone who feels the same way would be greatly appreciated.
    Thank you!
    hello, I'm in a similar situation; I am 19 and have just finished my A2 retakes (I took a year out to complete them). Feel free to pm me if you want to talk to someone.


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    From my own perspective, I have suffered with absolutely crippling anxiety and depression. I thought I had other conditions and I've had a mess of a life for the past god knows how many years. All of this I put down to the first part of my life and everything that happened when I was younger (segregating me from the life that normal kids/teens had).

    At first told I had social anxiety, I don't even believe it to be a real condition now. I honest to god think it was some condition fabricated to explain someone's fear of the outside world. I hate people who bang on like "go do some yoga or meditation"... Everyone who's suffered this knows how much of a backwards step it is to hear this generic crap from people who have no idea what you're going through. What a laugh.

    I was going to comment on medication but I'm not going to. Just try not to tell anyone you're taking that kind of medication if you can help it (other than close people/relatives). People are simple a lot of the time, and they'll just use it as a talking point which can quickly spread - don't give people ammunition against you.

    I'm just going to offer advice that helped to improve my situation, obviously not from a medical standpoint as I'm not doctor, but I've suffered the terrible effects of an illness that people often after hearing about don't care that you have (because to be honest, it's become such a common illness). It's not something you should have to deal with alone, but a lot of the time you can feel that way.

    Anyways. How do you feel about yourself? The first thing I hated about myself, I started to change. I lost a complete ton of weight, around 4 stone, and toned myself up. I'm also going to the gym pretty much regularly. Yes, it's a generic answer to the problem but it's the first step in the right direction, if you hate the way you look and feel - it's something you can change, which will overall improve your image and feeling. (I don't like the word 'confidence'. FYI I've been bullied about my weight for the entirety of going through school amongst other things so to show people now that I've changed all of that, I've not had a single bad comment made to me.

    As well as that - look towards the brighter parts of your life. If you're anything like me, you grew up around people with no outlook whatsoever who are probably going to be doleys for the rest of their life with a bad job *who also contributed to your condition, because they're that simple). You've mentioned you're going to Uni, much like myself this September, so you've got plenty to look forward to. It will all get better from there. When you do get to Uni, go out as much as possible (nights out, w/e).

    Most importantly take no crap. Honestly if anyone starts to try and knock your confidence (a lot of the time, jealous, stupid and annoying people) bite back in a way that doesn't land you in too much trouble. The sooner you nip it in the bud that you aren't going to take it, the sooner idiots back off from talking what usually comes out of their backside. A lot of the issue with me was being surrounded by ignorant people who are literally going to be in the same hole they've dug for their entire lives, and have nothing better to do than try and knock down people who are going to do a lot better than them in life (or already are).

    Don't spend much time alone if you can help it. You've mentioned you have friends, I'm not sure if you suffer from anxiety too - but try and take every opportunity to be outside and away from being alone. It just generally helps, your mind thinks differently in a positive way. If you're alone, it's more time spent dwelling on things that being to make sense in your head but aren't reality. The world isn't against you, just try to be open to people as much as possible and make a push of effort to try talking to people when it's relevant. If you can open up conversation with people more, you tend to become better at it and people start to see your personality better than if you're just to withdraw.

    It's a cruel situation, but you've got a lot of outlook in your life and room to improve. Make the effort in University to do things as much as possible. Go on nights out whenever possible, visit places in whatever city you are studying, go to course groups. I know that for me, this is a large step because I'm not surrounded by complete tools and I've finally made it somewhere where I can interact with people who are on the same level as me. Also, probably the most important thing - Don't worry. Your situation will get better, and with age, you'll look back at this and everything will be alright.
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    Nothing in life can be solved by masking the symptoms... I would highly recommend people to never take anti-depressants... would you take cocaine or MDMA to treat your depression? No... well then why take drugs that are even more harmful to do it.


    I'd look into doing some real qigong energy training work... anything by Dr Yan Xin is absolute gold (the guy healed George Bush Senior amongst others, using only qi energy), or Chunyi Lin at Spring Forest Qigong (Chunyi was first healed at one of Yan Xin's 7+ hour qigong emitting lectures, where he would speak and emit he energy to thousands for 7/8 hours + without breaks, and many people would have miraculous recoveries, even wheelchair bound people were able to stand, Yan Xin has also participated in over 40 studies since 1987 with places such as Harvard University, University of Technology California, University Beijing etc... even being able to influence the decay rate of radioactive isotopes with his external qi field)...

    Best of luck and take care!
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    (Original post by SYNCHRONIC)
    Nothing in life can be solved by masking the symptoms... I would highly recommend people to never take anti-depressants... would you take cocaine or MDMA to treat your depression? No... well then why take drugs that are even more harmful to do it.


    I'd look into doing some real qigong energy training work... anything by Dr Yan Xin is absolute gold (the guy healed George Bush Senior amongst others, using only qi energy), or Chunyi Lin at Spring Forest Qigong (Chunyi was first healed at one of Yan Xin's 7+ hour qigong emitting lectures, where he would speak and emit he energy to thousands for 7/8 hours + without breaks, and many people would have miraculous recoveries, even wheelchair bound people were able to stand, Yan Xin has also participated in over 40 studies since 1987 with places such as Harvard University, University of Technology California, University Beijing etc... even being able to influence the decay rate of radioactive isotopes with his external qi field)...

    Best of luck and take care!
    Anti-depressants do not 'mask' symptoms. bye.
 
 
 
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