Over controlling parents- what shall I do?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
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My parents have always been overcontrolling. I thought they'd change when I'm 18, but they've just grown worse. They even log in to my email and facebook to make sure they know exactly what im doing. I get hit if i don't listen to their orders, and i can't answer anything back to them other than the simple 'yes'. They say they'll chuck me out if I do anything other than studying. I'm still doing my A levels and I want to be a doctor, so i still need the roof over my head. What shall I do? It makes me depressed everyday. Thanks.
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Anonymous #2
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OP, when I was 18 I was in exactly the same situation. I also had depression when studying for my A-Levels, and had to take an extra year to finish my exams. As you can imagine, this didn't go down well with my parents and I got beaten when I told them I had to do an extra year.

Now I'm in medical school and having the time of my life

I know it's really difficult for you right now, and you probably feel like you're stuck in a rut and you'll never get out of your current situation. Let them log into your facebook, or even delete it and make a new one (and a new email) without telling them. Or just delete it completely until you go to uni. I'm assuming that since you're 18 you've already applied to uni and got your offers - so honestly just keep up the good work, smash those exams and you'll be free in about 2 months!

I learnt so much in my first year of uni being away from home - it was the first time I actually had a social life, with real friends, and the freedom to do what I wanted. It's bliss. Granted, when I come home during holidays etc I have to revert back to my former self but since it's only in small doses I'm willing to put up with it until I go back. And eventually I'll stop coming home so often. And you can do the same too. Just work your ass off and you will earn the escape
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lilymoran
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My parents have always been overcontrolling. I thought they'd change when I'm 18, but they've just grown worse. They even log in to my email and facebook to make sure they know exactly what im doing. I get hit if i don't listen to their orders, and i can't answer anything back to them other than the simple 'yes'. They say they'll chuck me out if I do anything other than studying. I'm still doing my A levels and I want to be a doctor, so i still need the roof over my head. What shall I do? It makes me depressed everyday. Thanks.
This reminds me of a friend I had years ago in France. She came from a strict Spanish family but had broken away from her father's control at 18, when she got a job in town. At last free. You will be too when you start training and even more when you start earning and are financially independent.

Anyway, one day her father had to come to town to hospital and then to stay with her sister while he convalesced, The problem being that this friend of mine was supposed to be living with her sister too but of course wasn't and hadn't for years.

What fun we had waving to her and having secret meetings by the garden gate as she became more and more exasperated being confined to this house and her father took longer and longer to get well.

But all bad things come to an end , and her father went back home. Suddenly she laughed and laughed. Even she could see the funny side of her at 28 being confined to barracks! You will too in a few weeks, months, years and you'll have fun regaling your friends about how weird your parents were. Keep your chin up, it's all part of life's rich tapestry. What doesn't kill you , makes you stronger and a better person.
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username1799249
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#4
Report 6 years ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
They even log in to my email and facebook to make sure they know exactly what im doing.
This is surely easy to solve by unfriending them, changing your passwords? I thoroughly recommend http://www.passpack.com for a password solution. Whilst you are in their house you are kind of in their control. The best you can hope for it to leave home.Good luck!
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