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    Hello everyone,

    I'm 19, my (ex) girlfriend is 18

    Recently (5 days ago) me and my girlfriend for the best part of 11 months broke up, she said it was because I lied to her, i saw on her phone that her ex threatened to jump me (apparently as a joke) so I got defensive and obviously she didn't know I went on her phone to see this (wrong of me I know) so I made an excuse that one of her friends in her group chat sent me the text where he said he was gonna jump me

    I admitted it to her two months later, and she is acting as if I have don't something totally unforgivable, she talks to her ex because he's in her group of friends and to stay in that group she apparently has to talk to him.

    I tried to make it up to her, went to her house with flowers and her favourite perfume and pleaded with her to give me a chance to prove I'm sorry, she said she didn't want to be with me because she can't trust me etc

    And basically it's been kind of on/off no contact for the last five days, like some nights she will tell me she misses me and she just wants me to apologise to her friends (including her ex) because she had to question them over my lie.

    We were each other's first love, apparently I'm the best she's had in all departments

    However, other nights she tells me to F off and tells me to leave her alone

    Shall I just go no contact and leave her to get on with her life? She has a party tonight and I can't help but worry she's gonna get with someone else, although she's really not that type of girl, she's an anxious girl

    She tells me I saved her life many times as she suffers with depression and has major depressive episodes, I've seen all sides to her, she has opened up to me about everything and I've always kept that between us

    How would you approach this situation? I just feel lonely and empty without her I've text her every day for a year it's just a big chance I guess

    Sorry it's a long read by the way lol
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    (Original post by Beepeear)
    Hello everyone,

    I'm 19, my (ex) girlfriend is 18

    Recently (5 days ago) me and my girlfriend for the best part of 11 months broke up, she said it was because I lied to her, i saw on her phone that her ex threatened to jump me (apparently as a joke) so I got defensive and obviously she didn't know I went on her phone to see this (wrong of me I know) so I made an excuse that one of her friends in her group chat sent me the text where he said he was gonna jump me

    I admitted it to her two months later, and she is acting as if I have don't something totally unforgivable, she talks to her ex because he's in her group of friends and to stay in that group she apparently has to talk to him.

    I tried to make it up to her, went to her house with flowers and her favourite perfume and pleaded with her to give me a chance to prove I'm sorry, she said she didn't want to be with me because she can't trust me etc

    And basically it's been kind of on/off no contact for the last five days, like some nights she will tell me she misses me and she just wants me to apologise to her friends (including her ex) because she had to question them over my lie.

    We were each other's first love, apparently I'm the best she's had in all departments

    However, other nights she tells me to F off and tells me to leave her alone

    Shall I just go no contact and leave her to get on with her life? She has a party tonight and I can't help but worry she's gonna get with someone else, although she's really not that type of girl, she's an anxious girl

    She tells me I saved her life many times as she suffers with depression and has major depressive episodes, I've seen all sides to her, she has opened up to me about everything and I've always kept that between us

    How would you approach this situation? I just feel lonely and empty without her I've text her every day for a year it's just a big chance I guess

    Sorry it's a long read by the way lol
    If you do decide that there's no chance of you getting back together then yes, you have to block her, and forget about her over time. Delete messages, bin gifts, all of that stuff.

    Whether you should get over her or not.. up to you.

    If you want my opinion, I would say yes, forget about her, all things considered.

    Because the situation with her and her ex is just.. too messy. 'she has to talk to him to stay in the group' - I kind of get it but it's not a good situation for her to be in. At that age, it's not really sensible to have an ex in her life and she's almost putting up with him.. messy.

    And I'm not sure how I feel about you being guilted in to helping her because of her depression. Okay, it's a huge issue, but it'd be better if someone else supported her, like.. it's not something that should factor hugely into you staying with someone, if you know what I mean.
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    I'll offer a different view - I think she's justified in this. Not only did you invade her privacy by going into her phone, which you admit you knew was wrong, you then lied about invading her privacy.

    A relationship is nothing if you don't have trust. You had the chance to retain a degree of trust when you saw the text. Instead you chose to lie to her face and try to start beef within her friendship group to cover for your deception.

    I think you should do this girl a favour and go no contact.
 
 
 
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