Worried regarding family putting pressure on me to marry Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
I'm a male, I've just turned 27 and my father had a conversation with me telling me I want you to get married soon and I don't want you single by 29.

Now, my most respected uncle may even tell me, I want you to be married soon and even if it's not someone you like, it might just force it saying: "look", "just marry anyone".

What's their problem? It's my life, my money which I will pay for the wedding (I am saving up or give up to 70%), my marriage, you don't just marry anyone, you spending your whole life with this person.

They don't even tell me nice things like "I hope you get someone nice", they say nice things about my sister but not me.

I'm scared they take my power away from me and treating me like a boy saying I want you married soon or this and this will happen if I don't.

I'm thinking, what the hell? At least give me the chance to date, look for someone and I'm still 27, geez I don't have to be married until 30, 31.
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Duncan2012
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#2
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Do I really need to say you're 27 years old, you can do what you want. You really don't need validation from all the teenagers on TSR.
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electrifeye
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#3
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Your family have no right to tell you who to marry. You're right, it's your life and you should do what you want.

I'm sure it's difficult if your family are putting this much pressure on you but you may need to just take a stand and tell them they can't control you.
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks for the reply guys.

Yeah, it's my life and they cannot control me.

My dad is super harsh, I've lost my mother at a young age, I'm in a good job, I've done nothing wrong, I'm warm, kind, loyal, good character, good to talk to, have all these good qualities, yet, he thinks if I don't marry by 28/29, no women will want me because of that age and he thinks negatively of anything. It's almost like just marry the first women who shows interest in you, just marry anyone and make it work out.
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Anonymous #2
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Forced marriages are rightfully illegal in this country, but obviously some people don't have respect for the law of our land and prefer to abide by their racist and sexist tribal law, even when they move to the UK, which is vastly superior in terms of legal systems, education and equality
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Blondie987
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It's your life, don't let them push you around, even if you do it to appease them, no one will end up happy, especially you, and you'll regret it when you find someone you actually do want to marry and can't. Tell them straight that you're going to marry for love if you ever do and they should concern themselves with their own business instead of yours.
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Anonymous #1
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So my father spoke to me again today and he is said "I am 27, I want it quick".

I replied "27 is young for marriage" he replied "not young, men get married at 25". He spoke about my cousin who is 39 and don't want you to bee like him. The thing is I know men who have married at 31 and even females who have married at 30, 31.

Nothing wrong with marrying between 30-32, I will get someone.

I don't understand his problem with age and general worry regarding age, I'm only 27 and will find someone, no need to put pressure or rush into things. He is just blowing things out of proportion with age, I'm only young.
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A321
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#8
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Bet your asian? Lol. Just tell them to wait! 27 isnt that old anyway.

I understand that feel! We have the 'marriage discussion' so often its frustrating. I refuse to get married or meet anyone.

Posted from TSR Mobile
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Anonymous #2
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You shouldn't even be considering marriage until you're 30 or children until you're 36. Far too immature and too unstable financially before that
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WhisperingTide
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It's simple:
Your family: "Get married."
You: "No."

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Anonymous #1
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You guys don't understand, he loses the plot with age, it's perfectly normal for a man to get married at 30-31, he thinks it's ancient and no women will got for a guy if he's single at 29 even if they have everything sorted out like finances. I'm only 27.
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donutellme
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#12
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Yeah. Just say: "yeah, no. Ama, baba, I'm adamant on this. Nothing you say will change that."

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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You guys don't understand, he loses the plot with age, it's perfectly normal for a man to get married at 30-31, he thinks it's ancient and no women will got for a guy if he's single at 29 even if they have everything sorted out like finances. I'm only 27.
Your father is irrelevant to your life goals. FORCED MARRIAGE IS ILLEGAL IN THE UK. Not that barbarians like your father care about the law though
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