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Reply 60
Mines just ended. =( He told me he couldn't deal with the distance, and not seeing me. So he ended it. I was going to see him next weekend, but that wasn't enough. I thought it was going great but looking back it was a bit sticky, we were short tempered with each other and arguing and yeah =(
Reply 61
Sephrenia
Mines just ended. =( He told me he couldn't deal with the distance, and not seeing me. So he ended it. I was going to see him next weekend, but that wasn't enough. I thought it was going great but looking back it was a bit sticky, we were short tempered with each other and arguing and yeah =(
Guess he changed when he went to uni, unfortunatly people do I am afraid, shame though he didn't give it a bit more of a try really with the fact you were going to see him next week. Seems almost like he wasn't going to put any effort in.
Reply 62
Rock Fan
Guess he changed when he went to uni, unfortunatly people do I am afraid, shame though he didn't give it a bit more of a try really with the fact you were going to see him next week. Seems almost like he wasn't going to put any effort in.
Yeah, I guess he did. I don't think hes used to having to try, or getting it hard. Hes always getting things and finding them easy, and Im used to struggling on a trying hard, so I was willing to try it, and I was doing OK. He wasn't =(
Reply 63
Mine's just ended too. We're both in our first years at uni - i went to see her at the weekend and she ended it. She was really unhappy because we were apart and then called it a day. She's my first gf so I'm not coping too well.
My advice for long-distance relationships would be only give it a go if you are both strong characters - I don't think love has anything to do with it, we still love each other very much, it's just we couldn't handle being apart from each other.
My advice for long-distance relationships would be only give it a go if you are both strong characters - I don't think love has anything to do with it, we still love each other very much, it's just we couldn't handle being apart from each other.
Reply 64
More likely she was thinking that the grass is greener on the otherside.
Reply 65
i dont think they're too hard as long as you can both trust each other, and really mean it when you wont cheat on each other!
i feel like i couldve carried on fine if it hadnt broken down like it had.
also, if he wouldve tried harder, it didnt feel like he gave me hardly any time at all, but he thought he gave me too much.
i agree, people change when you dont see each other the same. its just one of those things
i feel like i couldve carried on fine if it hadnt broken down like it had.
also, if he wouldve tried harder, it didnt feel like he gave me hardly any time at all, but he thought he gave me too much.
i agree, people change when you dont see each other the same. its just one of those things
Reply 66
my boyfriend is still at the uni from which i have now graduated. things are different at the other end i think, perhaps cos i have a job that allows us to spend every weekend together. but we don't know any different - we got together after i left. but it still takes perseverence. we're also lucky that we're both big users of TSR (thats how we met) so we have that as another way of keeping in touch. there are no answers sadly. just keep at it. 
Reply 67
12
my boyfriend and I are applying to Nott, Liverpool, Glasgow and edinburgh for medicine and vetinary :s there are countless reasons why im cracking up about this
Reply 68
Hey,
Only just started on here, so still trying to get my head round the site, sorry...
I've known my boyfriend for about 5 years, and we were very good friends for about 2 years before we headed off to different universities, me to Aberdeen, and him to Cambridge.
We got together (finally...) last June, just at the end of our first year and so far we're doing well (3 months practically living together, 3 months 400 miles away). We try to see each other at least every fortnight, which is taking huge chunks out of my back balance (about £70 a go) but the 9 hour train journey each way gives me time to catch up on my uni work, and it's worth it to see each other for a few days :-).
I suppose what I'm getting at is that as far as I can see it, as long as you're close and keep talking (communication really is everything!), skype's great for keeping keeping phone bills to a minimum; then you've got a fairly good chance of making it work.
To be fair, I've only been doing this for 3 months, and it may all go hideously wrong, but so far I've got a good feeling about it.
Any comments would be really appreciated I've been feeling quite alone in this (most of my friends at uni have their boyfriends just around the corner and don't really understand where I'm coming from...)
Sorry for the essay!
Only just started on here, so still trying to get my head round the site, sorry...
I've known my boyfriend for about 5 years, and we were very good friends for about 2 years before we headed off to different universities, me to Aberdeen, and him to Cambridge.
We got together (finally...) last June, just at the end of our first year and so far we're doing well (3 months practically living together, 3 months 400 miles away). We try to see each other at least every fortnight, which is taking huge chunks out of my back balance (about £70 a go) but the 9 hour train journey each way gives me time to catch up on my uni work, and it's worth it to see each other for a few days :-).
I suppose what I'm getting at is that as far as I can see it, as long as you're close and keep talking (communication really is everything!), skype's great for keeping keeping phone bills to a minimum; then you've got a fairly good chance of making it work.
To be fair, I've only been doing this for 3 months, and it may all go hideously wrong, but so far I've got a good feeling about it.
Any comments would be really appreciated I've been feeling quite alone in this (most of my friends at uni have their boyfriends just around the corner and don't really understand where I'm coming from...)
Sorry for the essay!
Reply 69
11
I know of a London/Edinburgh couple who have been together over a year - they fly to see each other every weekend (take it in turns to visit).
Reply 70
Luckily me and my boyfriend aren't that far away, if we had the distances mentioned above, we wouldn't be able to afford to see each other. Also couldn't agree more about the communication thing, I have my boyfriend as my Orange Magic number and we speak every night. He's in his second year of Uni, and i'm last year of sixth form, and we started goin out the July before he started Uni so we're doing well 
Reply 71
Zoecb
I know of a London/Edinburgh couple who have been together over a year - they fly to see each other every weekend (take it in turns to visit).
How do they afford that every weekend?
Reply 72
Yes... I'm well into the red already and it's only November... Have just found a great job with the uni though and it's only during the week, so I can disappear off to Cambridge whenever I want (or feel I can spare the money...)
No idea how people afford flying though - cheapest I could find Aberdeen to Stansted is £180 so flying is definitely emergencies only!
No idea how people afford flying though - cheapest I could find Aberdeen to Stansted is £180 so flying is definitely emergencies only!
Reply 73
11
Angrybanana
How do they afford that every weekend?
Well I imagine that if it's a standing arrangement they can book well in advance when it's much much cheaper?
Reply 74
Oh, another thing I was going to mention is that occasionally a long distance relationship can work as well or better than going to uni with a partner from home. I went to the same uni as my ex (not together, we split up the summer before as we both wanted a clean slate at uni) but got back together during Fresher's Week, which was one of my worse decisions... We fought constantly as although we were in the same halls, we were doing different courses and had very different friends to the mutual group we had at home. We kept going for 6 months, however, trying to work through the fights. In the end it didn't work and when I went home for summer I got together with my current boyfriend (who's at uni 400 miles away) and we're still going strong.
If my ex had gone to a different uni, I don't think we would ever have got back together, we weren't best suited to each other. And I think that my current boyfriend and I are much closer and better at being together and doing the whole long-distance thing, having been good friends for a few years, so it may not have worked any other way.
Has anyone else done a similar thing? Interested to know how anyone else's worked out.
If my ex had gone to a different uni, I don't think we would ever have got back together, we weren't best suited to each other. And I think that my current boyfriend and I are much closer and better at being together and doing the whole long-distance thing, having been good friends for a few years, so it may not have worked any other way.
Has anyone else done a similar thing? Interested to know how anyone else's worked out.
Reply 75
I think the good thing about a long distance relationship is that neither of you will be constantly under each other's feet, you will have that space. When the time does come to see your partner again, it does make it more special.
Reply 76
Hi everyone. I'm finding some comfort realising I'm not the only one to be going through this trauma! I've been with my bf for 18 months and it has been the best of my life. I'm 10 years older than him which hasn't actually been too much of a problem until now. I'm his first long term relationship and I have had a few with awful men who I couldn't trust. My bf was just what I needed and we have spent nearly every day together for the last 18 months. I admit I have trust problems but if I ever felt a bit insecure we would talk things over and NEVER argue. He really is a sweet guy.
Ok, here is the problem. He started uni in September, not far away, about an hour from where I live. Going from spending most days together and chatting on msn and phone when we were apart to seeing him once every couple of weeks for a few hours and hardly any phone calls is absolutely killing me. Before he left I said that he wouldn't have so much time to see me due to workload and job and he said that he would make damn sure he could see me every weekend. Not happened. I have been to stay at his place couple of times, met his friends who are really nice but now he just doesn't have the time to talk to me when I'm at home. He sends me a tiny e-mail once in a while to say hi and that he must go cos he's so busy. I have called him a few times and he says he's too busy to chat long then proceeds to go online and chats for an hour at a time to one of his classmates. I have read messages from him to this girl, sneaky I know but very suspicious. We have never hidden passwords and things from eachother. He tells her he really likes her, she is beautiful and wonderful and a great person and he has been getting kind of flirty with her. She isn't actually going for it. He is a really friendly person and tells people if they're lovely but I feel he's overstepping the mark with this one girl. He's always said he's so different from others I've dated and I really truly believed that but these messages have left me feeling sick. I know I'm in the wrong for reading them but I kind of needed peace of mind. I have got so low about this I'm now suffering from anxiety and am taking anti-depressants.
I have given him the option to be single and he got very upset but still carries on flirting with this girl.
Sorry it's a huge long ramble, I just needed to get it off my chest x
Ok, here is the problem. He started uni in September, not far away, about an hour from where I live. Going from spending most days together and chatting on msn and phone when we were apart to seeing him once every couple of weeks for a few hours and hardly any phone calls is absolutely killing me. Before he left I said that he wouldn't have so much time to see me due to workload and job and he said that he would make damn sure he could see me every weekend. Not happened. I have been to stay at his place couple of times, met his friends who are really nice but now he just doesn't have the time to talk to me when I'm at home. He sends me a tiny e-mail once in a while to say hi and that he must go cos he's so busy. I have called him a few times and he says he's too busy to chat long then proceeds to go online and chats for an hour at a time to one of his classmates. I have read messages from him to this girl, sneaky I know but very suspicious. We have never hidden passwords and things from eachother. He tells her he really likes her, she is beautiful and wonderful and a great person and he has been getting kind of flirty with her. She isn't actually going for it. He is a really friendly person and tells people if they're lovely but I feel he's overstepping the mark with this one girl. He's always said he's so different from others I've dated and I really truly believed that but these messages have left me feeling sick. I know I'm in the wrong for reading them but I kind of needed peace of mind. I have got so low about this I'm now suffering from anxiety and am taking anti-depressants.
I have given him the option to be single and he got very upset but still carries on flirting with this girl.
Sorry it's a huge long ramble, I just needed to get it off my chest x
Reply 77
12
wow issues. i think you should sit him down and tell him that you need more reassurance
Reply 78
15
loopylou22
I have read messages from him to this girl, sneaky I know but very suspicious
That is the stupidest most immature thing to do. You obviously found exactly what you wanted to. If you don't trust each other, you don't have anything.
Reply 79
loopylou22
Hi everyone. I'm finding some comfort realising I'm not the only one to be going through this trauma! I've been with my bf for 18 months and it has been the best of my life. I'm 10 years older than him which hasn't actually been too much of a problem until now. I'm his first long term relationship and I have had a few with awful men who I couldn't trust. My bf was just what I needed and we have spent nearly every day together for the last 18 months. I admit I have trust problems but if I ever felt a bit insecure we would talk things over and NEVER argue. He really is a sweet guy.
Ok, here is the problem. He started uni in September, not far away, about an hour from where I live. Going from spending most days together and chatting on msn and phone when we were apart to seeing him once every couple of weeks for a few hours and hardly any phone calls is absolutely killing me. Before he left I said that he wouldn't have so much time to see me due to workload and job and he said that he would make damn sure he could see me every weekend. Not happened. I have been to stay at his place couple of times, met his friends who are really nice but now he just doesn't have the time to talk to me when I'm at home. He sends me a tiny e-mail once in a while to say hi and that he must go cos he's so busy. I have called him a few times and he says he's too busy to chat long then proceeds to go online and chats for an hour at a time to one of his classmates. I have read messages from him to this girl, sneaky I know but very suspicious. We have never hidden passwords and things from eachother. He tells her he really likes her, she is beautiful and wonderful and a great person and he has been getting kind of flirty with her. She isn't actually going for it. He is a really friendly person and tells people if they're lovely but I feel he's overstepping the mark with this one girl. He's always said he's so different from others I've dated and I really truly believed that but these messages have left me feeling sick. I know I'm in the wrong for reading them but I kind of needed peace of mind. I have got so low about this I'm now suffering from anxiety and am taking anti-depressants.
I have given him the option to be single and he got very upset but still carries on flirting with this girl.
Sorry it's a huge long ramble, I just needed to get it off my chest x
Ok, here is the problem. He started uni in September, not far away, about an hour from where I live. Going from spending most days together and chatting on msn and phone when we were apart to seeing him once every couple of weeks for a few hours and hardly any phone calls is absolutely killing me. Before he left I said that he wouldn't have so much time to see me due to workload and job and he said that he would make damn sure he could see me every weekend. Not happened. I have been to stay at his place couple of times, met his friends who are really nice but now he just doesn't have the time to talk to me when I'm at home. He sends me a tiny e-mail once in a while to say hi and that he must go cos he's so busy. I have called him a few times and he says he's too busy to chat long then proceeds to go online and chats for an hour at a time to one of his classmates. I have read messages from him to this girl, sneaky I know but very suspicious. We have never hidden passwords and things from eachother. He tells her he really likes her, she is beautiful and wonderful and a great person and he has been getting kind of flirty with her. She isn't actually going for it. He is a really friendly person and tells people if they're lovely but I feel he's overstepping the mark with this one girl. He's always said he's so different from others I've dated and I really truly believed that but these messages have left me feeling sick. I know I'm in the wrong for reading them but I kind of needed peace of mind. I have got so low about this I'm now suffering from anxiety and am taking anti-depressants.
I have given him the option to be single and he got very upset but still carries on flirting with this girl.
Sorry it's a huge long ramble, I just needed to get it off my chest x
If you can't trust your boyfriend then why you with him, you are only driving him away but not trusting him. He's with you because he wants you, think you need to realise this.
He is perfectly allowed to have friends outside the relationship, think you need some help with your trust issues otherwise you will never hang on to a guy.
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