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    Question: Do footballers get paid too much?
    It is clear footballers earn excessively too much-to earn over £100,000 is completely insane and outrageous. How can we live in a society where half the world is suffering from povery, but one person has enough money to feed a whole country?
    Visualise this, Gemma is a hardworking, skillful and smart-witted junior doctor, she brings positive outcomes to our country; saving lives everyday and enhancing individuals health problems. She works from 8pm to 10am, she is a singe mother to a 10month baby,how can she not see her precious baby every night, who will care for her? Well she has to come with a solution, because she needs to work to feed her baby and earning only £800 a week is shockingly less than a footballer. What does a footballer do, please remind me? Kicking a ball around a field for 90mins. Wow. How is that helping anybody? And they earn £100,000 a week, that is staggering.
    In contrary, the typical football fan may say "I've never missed a match in my life, I idolise Ronaldo, he deserves that £100,000, he has skills!". But what about a doctor? Don't think about wthat do you, remember next time your in pain, who is helping you, is it Ronaldo?
    (Im not finished so yeahhh can u grade this and tell me how to improve please)
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    no they don't

    its all about supply and demand, people are willinging to pay alot for football, so are the football clubs for the players
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    (Original post by theBranicAc)
    no they don't

    its all about supply and demand, people are willinging to pay alot for football, so are the football clubs for the players
    Can you check if my writing to argue piece is okay?can u give a grade and how to improve. Have english exam tmo.
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    (Original post by amypops)
    Can you check if my writing to argue piece is okay?can u give a grade and how to improve. Have english exam tmo.
    im no good at english(only a b at gcse), but okay if you want?
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    I could try if you want
    Do you want to do private message or just do it here?
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    (Original post by AmeliaBaldwin)
    I could try if you want
    Do you want to do private message or just do it here?
    Can you just do it here please
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    (Original post by amypops)
    Question: Do footballers get paid too much?
    It is clear that footballers earn excessively too much -to earn over £100,000 (per year?) is completely insane and outrageous. How can we live in a society where half the world is suffering from poverty, but one person has enough money to feed a whole country?
    Visualise this, Gemma is a hardworking, skillful and smart-witted junior doctor, she brings positive outcomes to our country: saving lives everyday and enhancing individuals health problems (this last part would perhaps be better phrased as 'improving the health of numerous individuals' or something along those lines). She works from 8pm to 10am, she is a singe mother to a 10 month baby, how can she not see her precious baby every night? Who will care for her? Well she has to come up with a solution, because she needs to work to feed her baby, and earning only £800 a week is shockingly less than a footballer. What does a footballer do, please remind me? Kicking a ball around a field for 90mins? Wow. How is that helping anybody? And they earn £100,000 a week, now that is staggering.
    In contrary, the typical football fan may say "I've never missed a match in my life, I idolise Ronaldo, he deserves that £100,000, he has skills!". But what about a doctor? Don't think about wthat do you, remember next time you're in pain, who is helping you, is it Ronaldo?
    (Im not finished so yeahhh can u grade this and tell me how to improve please)
    A very powerful argument, good use of rhetorical questions and giving a concept to support your argument. You also negate the argument of footballers being skilled, which strengthens your argument.

    The only thing I would say is perhaps that in your next paragraphs you use other persuasive devices such as hyperbole (exaggeration), direct speech (speaking to your reader) and triads.
    You've built a very strong argument and I wish you the best of luck.
 
 
 
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