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Depression anxiety and self esteem issues as I can't get it up but thats the reason! Watch

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    I am in a bit of a vicious cycle made worse by the fact last time I had penetrative sex was 12 years ago (Im 30 now) have had a few fooling around sessions since then but at one point didnt get any sexual contact for 7 years and a few months ago got with this girl and was a little nervous and she was outright nasty to me and after a few minutes of fooling around basically called me pathetic and left in a bad mood.

    But its all a vicious cycle, I am lonely as don't approach women as If I do date them sex will be a part of it, but I want to fool around with random strangers first to get casual sex out of my system before dating (or one night stands, dating, then more one night stands)

    And it doesn't help I am a grower not a shower.

    Each year I feel worse as the timeframe for one night stands and to settle down shortens.

    I did have a bit of a dry spell in my mid twenties where women barely even looked at me, I started noticing now I hit 30 I am getting looks again but in different ways i.e more spread out ages, I seem to get a lot of 18 year old fresher girls seem to give me the eye (could be misinterpreting but its look and blush and be nervous around me) then next stage is girls about 25 then ones around my age or a few years older (basically when they hit milestones in their life)

    But as I am in that vicious circle it can't get better unless I try but both my self esteem and my image will be made worse by each failure, hardly going to go to a club and take a girl home and not get anywhere to go back to same club and randomly see that girl there.

    So not sure what to do or how to get out of this cycle, I tried viagra and it just gave me heart cramps, and only worked around lunchtime on an empty stomach and even then I had to keep my focus which is hard when self pleasuring, when I try it in evening or with food in stomach I just feel a tight feeling down there but no growth.

    Any ideas how I can get out if this vicious cycle?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am in a bit of a vicious cycle made worse by the fact last time I had penetrative sex was 12 years ago (Im 30 now) have had a few fooling around sessions since then but at one point didnt get any sexual contact for 7 years and a few months ago got with this girl and was a little nervous and she was outright nasty to me and after a few minutes of fooling around basically called me pathetic and left in a bad mood.

    But its all a vicious cycle, I am lonely as don't approach women as If I do date them sex will be a part of it, but I want to fool around with random strangers first to get casual sex out of my system before dating (or one night stands, dating, then more one night stands)

    And it doesn't help I am a grower not a shower.

    Each year I feel worse as the timeframe for one night stands and to settle down shortens.

    I did have a bit of a dry spell in my mid twenties where women barely even looked at me, I started noticing now I hit 30 I am getting looks again but in different ways i.e more spread out ages, I seem to get a lot of 18 year old fresher girls seem to give me the eye (could be misinterpreting but its look and blush and be nervous around me) then next stage is girls about 25 then ones around my age or a few years older (basically when they hit milestones in their life)

    But as I am in that vicious circle it can't get better unless I try but both my self esteem and my image will be made worse by each failure, hardly going to go to a club and take a girl home and not get anywhere to go back to same club and randomly see that girl there.

    So not sure what to do or how to get out of this cycle, I tried viagra and it just gave me heart cramps, and only worked around lunchtime on an empty stomach and even then I had to keep my focus which is hard when self pleasuring, when I try it in evening or with food in stomach I just feel a tight feeling down there but no growth.

    Any ideas how I can get out if this vicious cycle?
    I think the route of the problem is likely mental health. Hopefully as your mental health improves so will the other issue. Go see a doctor and discuss it with them. It's a bit awkward going to the doctor about sexual issues or mental health issues but it really is the best thing so you just need to bite the bullet and push pask the anxiety.
 
 
 
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