The Witch (Theresa May)-
personality void technocrat who lives in a remote tower. Will occasionally get her winged monkeys to go around London asking black people if they live there. Pretty much the exact opposite of Boris other than they are both pretty loathsome.
The cowardly Lion (Boris Johnson)
- Bravery, principle, loyalty....Boris has none of these characteristics. Instead Boris maintains a facade of being a common sense man of the people.who so enjoy his jolly antics. 'There goes Boris, he's lied to alk of us, oh what fun!'
The Tin Man (Jeremy Hunts)-
AKA the man that would lose to Corbyn. Is currently looking for a heart. None of the doctors will give him one.
The Scare Crow (Liam Fox)-
The lefties worst fear personified: a slighty Defter version of George W Bush. If he had a brain this disgraced former defence secretary would have realised not to have brought his lobbyist friend with him to private meetings unrecorded.
Dorothy (Stephen Crabbe) -
bit of a cop out. Crabbe seems quite nice, but apparently he doesn't have a good opinion about gays.
The wizard of OZ (Michael Gove) -
a supposed intellectual, diminutive man who has helped enthrall/ conned thousand with mythical promises to make the land great again. Don't listen to the experts, magic is real! (2will probably back Boris)
100s of personal statements examples here