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Not being able to follow conversations (and girls)
Ok here's my problem. I have normal hearing (although people with hearing loss can probably relate) but I struggle a lot following conversations and taking part. especially in any environment that's a bit noisy.
A lot of friends have noticed on several occasions that I struggle to follow conversations and just make a joke out of it (not in a nasty way).
The trouble is, I come across as rather aloof. I am not that outgoing anyway but this whole problem just makes me seem very reserved in certain situations where I'd like to take part in a conversation but I'm left struggling to figure out what people are talking about.
When socialising, this can really make me look stupid. I can miss something and someone might say "Just go back to sleep", which in a way is rather hurtful but it is part of the whole social banter that socialising is part of. That just gives you an idea of how difficult it can be.
But the real problem is that anywhere I might potentially meet someone, I just can't have a proper conversation and you can imagine the reaction of any girl when I have to ask her to repeat something twice or I answer something back that doesn't make sense. It really just ruins any chance of me to get to know anyone when going out and it's incredibly frustrating. I have been told that I might be suffering from auditory processing disorder, where your brain struggles to make sense of sounds.
Girls, what would you suggest I do? You can probably imagine how you would react if you were trying to have a conversation with a guy and he doesn't seem to catch everything...
A lot of friends have noticed on several occasions that I struggle to follow conversations and just make a joke out of it (not in a nasty way).
The trouble is, I come across as rather aloof. I am not that outgoing anyway but this whole problem just makes me seem very reserved in certain situations where I'd like to take part in a conversation but I'm left struggling to figure out what people are talking about.
When socialising, this can really make me look stupid. I can miss something and someone might say "Just go back to sleep", which in a way is rather hurtful but it is part of the whole social banter that socialising is part of. That just gives you an idea of how difficult it can be.
But the real problem is that anywhere I might potentially meet someone, I just can't have a proper conversation and you can imagine the reaction of any girl when I have to ask her to repeat something twice or I answer something back that doesn't make sense. It really just ruins any chance of me to get to know anyone when going out and it's incredibly frustrating. I have been told that I might be suffering from auditory processing disorder, where your brain struggles to make sense of sounds.
Girls, what would you suggest I do? You can probably imagine how you would react if you were trying to have a conversation with a guy and he doesn't seem to catch everything...
Couldn't you go to the doc and get some kind of tratement or hearing aids? I dont know but surely there's something that could help you.
And as a female, I wouldn't think any differently of you. But I do have to say that it does get annoying repeating one's self alot. But if they know the problem they shouldnt really mind.
And as a female, I wouldn't think any differently of you. But I do have to say that it does get annoying repeating one's self alot. But if they know the problem they shouldnt really mind.
Haha, I could have written the first part of that post. Though I've never met a girl who would be turned off from somebody 'cos they ask them to repeat themselves. If it's really bothering you go see a doctor about it, that's what I plan to do.
You may have a specific condition which I can't remember the name of right now (sorry). I saw a talk on it by a woman in Oxford who's doing a study on it last year, and she described it as a condition where there is a problem with a person's central processing of sound, so that you can hear fine, but you're unable to distinguish different sounds from each other in order to be able to extract a single conversation from many. I think she was working on a treatment but again, my fantastic memory has failed me and I can't think whether she was successful or not. I'll try to hunt out the name she gave the condition and her name so you can find a bit more on it.
Same here. In a loud place a person's voice just blurs into the background noise. I can't hear anything unless they shout over it. If someone says something I often have to ask them to repeat. I can hear fine but only when I'm expecting it. It's like my brain doesn't decode the sound properly. I make a joke out of it by saying what I think they said. Usually a mish mash of words that make no sense but sound close to what they actually said.
It's good to see I'm not the only one. I think that it's not that rare a condition. Apparently it's a condition that has a lot in common with ADHD or dyslexia. The trouble is, I'm quite good with languages so I'm still wondering if I have auditory processing disorder. I've heard that people who suffer from it, have severe learning disabilities, where without boasting, I'm at one of the best unis in the country. I think that I've had this problem more or less for a long time, but never really realised. People used to point out how often I would say "what?" but I never thought too much about it.
Are you really being honest though?
Well it's already hard enough to approach girls without them thinking you're some arsehole so approaching a girl, and not being able to have a proper conversation, it's like shooting myself in the foot and is a sure way to weird a girl out. Sure, someone might say that the solution is to never go out in noisy places and never try to approach someone in a place like that. But it seems to be such a constraint to a social life.
I'm sure you're a lovely person but I find it hard to believe that a girl will let a guy approach her and seduce her, just because he says he has a problem. Think about how you usually react to guys who come up to you and talk to you. A lot of you girls are so selective about who you let approach you (for example the guy has to be good-looking, catch your attention immediately, make you laugh...) that just a little problem with the conversation, can ruin everything. Yes, they might find it endearing and pity me...not exactly what I need.
blackswan
Couldn't you go to the doc and get some kind of tratement or hearing aids? I dont know but surely there's something that could help you.
And as a female, I wouldn't think any differently of you. But I do have to say that it does get annoying repeating one's self alot. But if they know the problem they shouldnt really mind.
And as a female, I wouldn't think any differently of you. But I do have to say that it does get annoying repeating one's self alot. But if they know the problem they shouldnt really mind.
Are you really being honest though?
Well it's already hard enough to approach girls without them thinking you're some arsehole so approaching a girl, and not being able to have a proper conversation, it's like shooting myself in the foot and is a sure way to weird a girl out. Sure, someone might say that the solution is to never go out in noisy places and never try to approach someone in a place like that. But it seems to be such a constraint to a social life.
I'm sure you're a lovely person but I find it hard to believe that a girl will let a guy approach her and seduce her, just because he says he has a problem. Think about how you usually react to guys who come up to you and talk to you. A lot of you girls are so selective about who you let approach you (for example the guy has to be good-looking, catch your attention immediately, make you laugh...) that just a little problem with the conversation, can ruin everything. Yes, they might find it endearing and pity me...not exactly what I need.
I know exactly what you're going through... my hearing is better than average, and I'm great at learning languages BUT sometimes I find it hard to stay on track in conversations with people (particularly in environments with distractions/noise). It could be a symptom of Attention Deficit Disorder, as someone has mentioned already.
I don't think hearing aids are the issue here... but I honestly don't know what would help the situation
I don't think hearing aids are the issue here... but I honestly don't know what would help the situation
This post could have been written by me. I've got prety decent language abilities ( can read to a above average atandard) can talk about my favourite interests at length and am a capable joke teller. The to and fro of conversation though especially with people not on my wavelength ( esp girls) is incredibly frustrating. I can almost sense the condenscending faces of others when I ask to repeat what someone has said or struggle to get a common ground. To talk in a noisy enviroment is a non-starter and even listening to someone talk causes my mind to wonder and miss what the other has sadi. The funny thing is that I can listen to the radio or t.v and easily follow whats going on I also find it much easier to follow phone coversations when maybe I'm less self conscious as its just an interaction of the voice ( no body language, appropriate facial expression required which could distract you from solely listening)
I've had this problem for most of my life and It does seem to put a downer on social situations.
I fine with one to one conversations, but sometimes find it difficult to focus my hearing on group conversations. But when I was little I had ear problems, but my hearing is fine now.
I also sometimes don't catch what people say the first time and get them to repeat but not hear it then so I pretend I heard by smiling and copying there reaction, But It can be really embarressing especially when they want an actual response! Or Sometimes I will suddenly like 30 seconds too late know what they said, Which can get really annoying! And I also get teased by friends about it!
I'm not sure I have any advice, Would love it for myself though!
But I doubt its the type of thing that will put a girl off!
I fine with one to one conversations, but sometimes find it difficult to focus my hearing on group conversations. But when I was little I had ear problems, but my hearing is fine now.
I also sometimes don't catch what people say the first time and get them to repeat but not hear it then so I pretend I heard by smiling and copying there reaction, But It can be really embarressing especially when they want an actual response! Or Sometimes I will suddenly like 30 seconds too late know what they said, Which can get really annoying! And I also get teased by friends about it!
I'm not sure I have any advice, Would love it for myself though!
But I doubt its the type of thing that will put a girl off!
SsEe
Same here. In a loud place a person's voice just blurs into the background noise. I can't hear anything unless they shout over it. If someone says something I often have to ask them to repeat. I can hear fine but only when I'm expecting it. It's like my brain doesn't decode the sound properly. I make a joke out of it by saying what I think they said. Usually a mish mash of words that make no sense but sound close to what they actually said.
Listening to Loud music and daily , city sounds has a lot to do with it i recon!!
Hey guys hope this is of some use
I was diagnosed with severe APD last year. It is not very well known and there seems to be only one consultant who can diagnose it in the UK.
I had problems in education but was one of those people who worked extra hard and taught myself. However, I rely completely on lip-reading even in one to one conversations,
In my final year of high school, I was forced to leave and had to sit my GCSE's myself, as my teachers thought that I was rude and badly behaved, when really I was bored, confused and rubbish at communicating.
I am now working to help raise awareness of the problem nationally.
If you want any further information on APD let me know!
Hayley x x x x x
I was diagnosed with severe APD last year. It is not very well known and there seems to be only one consultant who can diagnose it in the UK.
I had problems in education but was one of those people who worked extra hard and taught myself. However, I rely completely on lip-reading even in one to one conversations,
In my final year of high school, I was forced to leave and had to sit my GCSE's myself, as my teachers thought that I was rude and badly behaved, when really I was bored, confused and rubbish at communicating.
I am now working to help raise awareness of the problem nationally.
If you want any further information on APD let me know!
Hayley x x x x x
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