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23 guy, I think I'm falling for one of my best girl friends watch

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    We've known each other since we were kids, went through school together. Nowadays we only hangout or see each other about once a month, always as a group of mutual friends. We live in the same area, but our careers have the potential to send us opposite ways from one another.
    We care for each other a lot and I'm fairly attracted to her, I'm just not 100% sure if I see her in a romantic way.

    Just wondering whether I should tell her or not, and how I should go about it? Some days it doesn't bother me, other days it tears me apart.

    The trouble is, I worry that due to having pretty much zero female companionship in my teen/adult years, is that I'm just looking around for a quick-fix, and there she is. I'm a social guy and have no trouble talking to people, or going out and doing things, but I just never seem to meet new women.

    A really shallow, childish part of myself is worried that if we end up getting together, we could potentially be together till marriage and beyond. I
    always imagined that I'd be with a few women before I got married. I think I might be being really childish again when I think that I will just stick this out until I come across someone else who I really find attractive, and will go straight for.

    I see a few ways this could pan out.

    - Tell her. She reciprocates. We get together. All is well
    - Tell her. She reciprocates. I quickly realise I do not actually like her in that way. We break up. Friendship ruined.
    - Tell her. She does not reciprocate. Me sad. Friendship awkward.
    - I don't tell her. Some other guy comes along and sweeps her off her feet. Me extremely sad.
    - I don't tell her. Feelings pass. Move on. All okay.

    Help plz??
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've known each other since we were kids, went through school together. Nowadays we only hangout or see each other about once a month, always as a group of mutual friends. We live in the same area, but our careers have the potential to send us opposite ways from one another.
    We care for each other a lot and I'm fairly attracted to her, I'm just not 100% sure if I see her in a romantic way.

    Just wondering whether I should tell her or not, and how I should go about it? Some days it doesn't bother me, other days it tears me apart.

    The trouble is, I worry that due to having pretty much zero female companionship in my teen/adult years, is that I'm just looking around for a quick-fix, and there she is. I'm a social guy and have no trouble talking to people, or going out and doing things, but I just never seem to meet new women.

    A really shallow, childish part of myself is worried that if we end up getting together, we could potentially be together till marriage and beyond. I
    always imagined that I'd be with a few women before I got married. I think I might be being really childish again when I think that I will just stick this out until I come across someone else who I really find attractive, and will go straight for.

    I see a few ways this could pan out.

    - Tell her. She reciprocates. We get together. All is well
    - Tell her. She reciprocates. I quickly realise I do not actually like her in that way. We break up. Friendship ruined.
    - Tell her. She does not reciprocate. Me sad. Friendship awkward.
    - I don't tell her. Some other guy comes along and sweeps her off her feet. Me extremely sad.
    - I don't tell her. Feelings pass. Move on. All okay.

    Help plz??
    I guess you'll never know if you don't go for it, i guess it depends how sure of your feelings you are? When you say you want to be with many women before you get married, why is it you feel that way? I know many people who are incredibly happy being in the first/second serious relationship and will be with that person for the rest of their lives, i mean why wait when potentially your soulmate is right there for you.
    Why not try setting up something with just the two of you, say coffee or some drinks, then you dont have to tell her right there and then but it can then help you to think about your feelings more
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    does she have a bf?
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    OP here

    (Original post by claireestelle)
    When you say you want to be with many women before you get married, why is it you feel that way?
    Not too sure really. I guess it's maybe jealousy. Nearly everyone I know has had a few relationships and have been sexually active in their adult years, and then there's me on the sidelines. Life seems to be passing me by. I feel like I need to play catch up, or that I'm missing out on a key life experience.


    (Original post by Danny the Geezer)
    does she have a bf?
    No, she does not have a bf. But somebody could come along at any minute.
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    (Original post by Liam21)
    OP here



    Not too sure really. I guess it's maybe jealousy. Nearly everyone I know has had a few relationships and have been sexually active in their adult years, and then there's me on the sidelines. Life seems to be passing me by. I feel like I need to play catch up, or that I'm missing out on a key life experience.




    No, she does not have a bf. But somebody could come along at any minute.
    anon fail
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    Don't smash a friend unless/until you know you're attracted to her. Simples
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    Mate I also feel for one of my best female friends. Let me tell you I was in your position with thinking all the possible outcomes and options of what could happen. Also the thing you said about wanting to be with other girls before marriage, don't let other people alter your views, just because other people have been getting involved with a bunch of different people, doesn't mean you have to as well. It's the same premise as people getting worried because they reached "x" age without getting into a relationship before. If you two get together and you do truly like her than surely that'd be enough, wouldn't it?As for your question, I will simply say go for it and tell her how you feel and gauge her reaction. From when I had this, she didn't return the feelings. I'm not going to lie, yes it was awkward for a couple of weeks afterwards, but after a few weeks and to this day we're still friends. See you can worry about failure and all that jazz, but it's better to give it a shot isn't it? If you do tell her and she doesn't like you back then at least you can say you tried and you wont find yourself regretting not telling her down the road. So go for it, and when she responds you'll know where you stand and you'll know how to properly handle your emotions.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Mate I also feel for one of my best female friends. Let me tell you I was in your position with thinking all the possible outcomes and options of what could happen. Also the thing you said about wanting to be with other girls before marriage, don't let other people alter your views, just because other people have been getting involved with a bunch of different people, doesn't mean you have to as well. It's the same premise as people getting worried because they reached "x" age without getting into a relationship before. If you two get together and you do truly like her than surely that'd be enough, wouldn't it?As for your question, I will simply say go for it and tell her how you feel and gauge her reaction. From when I had this, she didn't return the feelings. I'm not going to lie, yes it was awkward for a couple of weeks afterwards, but after a few weeks and to this day we're still friends. See you can worry about failure and all that jazz, but it's better to give it a shot isn't it? If you do tell her and she doesn't like you back then at least you can say you tried and you wont find yourself regretting not telling her down the road. So go for it, and when she responds you'll know where you stand and you'll know how to properly handle your emotions.
    Thanks for the advice, friend. I am very close to telling her, but I fear that I'd be doing it mostly out of the want to have a girlfriend rather than truly thinking she is the one for me.

    It's a shame that it didn't work out for you. If it had gotten together you perhaps could've enlightened me on whether it caused your feelings to dissipate or grow.

    It's good to hear you're still good friends. I can't imagine my friend and I letting something like this get in the way of our friendship if she doesn't think of me that way.
 
 
 
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