Finding driving/lessons sickeningly terrible..

Hi all, I'm on my third driving lesson (yes, I know I'm being a bit impatient, I am the kind of person who wants everything done perfectly NOW rather than appreciating progress) and it's been god awful.

I feel so uncoordinated when I'm in the car. My hands and feet don't work together, I have *extremely* bad spatial awareness, like I honestly don't feel aware of anything around me even when I'm looking in my mirrors, my reaction times are slow af and I have bad peripheral vision, especially in my right eye, and it all feels like it's coming together into one big mess.

I've been reading a few of the driving threads on here but I don't feel frightened of driving like a lot of OPs say they do. Obviously I'm nervous of crashing but stalling doesn't bother me. I just don't feel *clever* enough, ja feel? But then I think of all the millions of people who do drive, even my mom (I love her but she can't even play space invaders or work the tv remote properly half the time). How do they do it? What's the trick? Someone tell me it gets better!

Again, yeah, it's been just over three hours (had 1 90 minute one) but I can't see myself going anywhere! Just begging for some reassurance I think tbf. Pointless post is pointless. I'd appreciate some insight though from passed drivers who thought they were horrendous.

ALSO: not sure if anyone would be able to give insight into this, but on my first lesson the instructor asked if I had any eye conditions that affected my ability to see stuff in the distance like. Made me read a number plate 20 meters away. Could do that perfectly fine, but I have exotropia strabismus in my right eye and it affects my peripheral vision and I can't read with that eye or anything. Long story short, my right eye looked towards the side of my head because of a broken muscle/ligament caused by traumatic birth (cool story) and because my eyes/brain were seeing two different things, my brain shut off the vision (kinda?) from my right eye and made my left do all the work. So I only use that left eye.

I had patching when I was small but it's been brought up vision wise as much as possible so that's stopped. It doesn't affect my vision day to day because my left eye compensates fine for it, I do wear normal shortsighted glasses but that's just to help the vision in my left eye, nothing to do with the right. Should I have mentioned it? I never put it on forms or anything like that because it doesn't affect me now as I cope with it. I didn't want to say anything really just in case it disqualified me, because nothing can be done to change it. Long term there is surgery but I don't know if that's an option yet. But again it won't correct my ability to see out of that eye when my brain started ignoring the images sent to that eye ages ago (am I even making sense now?) Opinions?

This has been a long a s s post. Sorry about that. CHEERS!

Reply 1

The_Stig

Didn't even read the whole post - all I needed to read was "third driving lesson". Give it atleast 20. If you still suck then driving is not for you.

Reply 2

username1620381

Do you maybe suffer from dyspraxia? I too have no coordination and bad spatial awareness and if is apparently due to mild dyspraxia? Also it is only your first few lessons everybody sucks in those lessons hopefully it will all come together for you soon

Reply 3

kate113855

Original post by 1998RF

I'm not sure actually, I've never been very coordinated (suck at dance and sport and stuff) but I've never been told I do have something wrong with it medically.

Original post by The_Stig

Didn't even read the whole post - all I needed to read was "third driving lesson". Give it atleast 20. If you still suck then driving is not for you.

I know I'm being cray, just wondered if the lack of coordination could be down to anything other than being an impatient piece of ****

Desperately want someone to reply about eyesight probs. Read the rules for DVLA vision declarations and my good eye works perfectly so I don't think I have to declare it, but might ring and see tomorrow just in case. It's ridiculously hard to explain though. And I don't even know what a normal field of vision is so I don't have anything to compare it to. Jeeeeeez

Reply 4

username1620381

Original post by kate113855

I'm not sure actually, I've never been very coordinated (suck at dance and sport and stuff) but I've never been told I do have something wrong with it medically.

I know exactly how you feel being bad at sport 😁 I once tripped over a hurdle landed in the only patch of mud on our track said hurdle collapsed on top of me 😳

Reply 5

username937957

OK you've only had three lessons so it's going to be pretty difficult and stressful at the start, but you'll get nowhere by giving up.

If it helps, I have coordination issues too (not something I'm making up, I was assessed as a child), and initailly I had a pretty impatient and short-tempered instructor who would start getting angry when I stalled the car or didn't use the clutch correctly, and this was only around the 5th lesson, so I convinced myself I couldn't drive manual and got an automatic instructor. Although obviously I didn't have to worry about clutch or gears I didn't really find that much of a change in my other driving ability, and gave up for a while as I live in London and don't really need a car anyway.

Recently I wanted to take up driving again and found an instructor who was much more patient, this is when I realised that practice makes perfect, and you have to expect that you're going to stall the car and not panic when you do. Other drivers, especially if you live in urban areas, can be aggressive and think it's smart to honk their horn and look pissed off in the rear mirror, you just have to ignore them and carry on at your own pace. It's also perfectly noprmal to find it difficult to be aware of other cars on the road and hazards when you start driving. This is the whole reason people have to learn how to drive and they have to take a test before they can do it on their own. Your parents might make it look easy but that's because they've presumably been driving for years and have got used to seeing out of a windscreen and judging the speed of other cars on the road, etc.

You'll get there eventually, there is no point in giving up. If you're having issues with clutch control and changing gears you should try and practice it as much as possible, remember that you can get insured on your parent's car and they can supervise you (insurance costs about £75 a month for learner drivers and the only other thing you need are L plates and possibly an extra rear-view mirror), assuming their car is a manual. I know it can be hard at the start but I'd strongly suggest learning in a manual, in the UK it's the norm to drive a manual and insurance and maintenance costs are often cheaper than automatics. And regarding spatial awareness you just have to carry on practicing, your instructor will stop you if you get into a dangerous situation and you usually aren't driving very fast anyway.

In terms of your medical condition, I understand that you can drive even if you can only see out of one eye, so if your sight is deteriorated in only one eye then that should be fine. But if you're worried check with your opthalmatologist.

I hope I helped at least a bit!

Reply 6

kate113855

Original post by Bonoahx

OK you've only had three lessons so it's going to be pretty difficult and stressful at the start, but you'll get nowhere by giving up.

...

I hope I helped at least a bit!

Thank you

that did indeed help a lot. I know really I'm being silly thinking that driving is going to be instantaneous, I know it takes time, it just threw me just how difficult it is. Unfortunately my mom doesn't drive anymore due to medical reasons and had to surrender her licence so can't take me out :frown:

and I don't see my dad to be able to use his car. I think that's part of the problem tbh, a load of people I know have access to some car even if it's just on a car park at night testing the clutch. But then again, a lot of other people don't have this access and they still learnt fine. I'll just have to take it as it comes.

Thanks everyone :-)