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    Okay, so I've got prom tomorrow, and 90% of my school are going to it. Yes, I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also slightly anxious. There's a girl going whom I was once really good friends with. We used to talk about everything, go on midnight walks, and just pass the hours talking, those sorts of things.. I'd never met anyone like her. We never really became anything more than friends (although we almost did, but a 'friend' stopped that happening :/ ), but she was really important to me nonetheless. However, a few months ago, we grew distant. Extreme ups and downs, arguing almost EVERY day, leaving both of us drained and on edge. It didn't take much for our fragile friendship to break. And that was it. Yes, it was more my decision than hers to just avoid eachother, and stop talking, but it seemed inevitable as there was nothing else I could do. I just felt, that whilst we got on very well, our friendship caused more problems than benefits, both to us and other people (since then I don't base my decisions on how they affect other people as much, I've learnt from that mistake). We spoke briefly a few weeks ago, but it was extremely awkward, we weren't alone but instead with a big group of people, and it felt as though we were acting- this was the last 'official' day of school, when everyone wants photos of everyone else, and so we both had our photos taken, trying to act as happy as possible. Anyway, back to the main point. She'll be going to the prom tomorrow, no doubt I'll see her at some point. Should I try to say or do something, even if it's just to put my own mind at rest rather than reconcile our lost relationship? The answer may seem simply to some of you, but my mind's in bits about this, I don't want to cause anymore upset than I have already. She's going to a different college to me anyway, so apart from results day I'll probably never see her again. So should I bother talking to her, and what should I try and say? Is there any point? I just want the relationship back which we used to have, no tension or unsaid thoughts, no secrets or arguments
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    All you need to do is say sorry. And mean it.
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    I would personally say that you should go. This could be one of the only nights you will strongly remember after a number of years when it comes to your years of education.

    I do think that it may be a good idea to attempt to talk to her and explain your feelings to her. Why? For the simple reason that you will not be left with the idea that you had the option to heal or improve your friendship but you did not try. Yes, you may have an outcome which you do not like however at least you will know that you have tried. Now, I am not really sure if you should do it on your prom night. Just because your discussion my end badly and both of your nights would be destroyed. However, if you get a point where you are alone and have the time to talk then give it a try. If you see that she does not want to talk that night then don't push it because it may make it worse.

    I really hope all the best and that you are able to resolve this. However, please remember that people come in our life's and leave it, sadly. It is something more painful then other times but we have no options to stop because the time just keeps going. Stay positive and if needed remember the best parts of what has happened, never the negative.


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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    All you need to do is say sorry. And mean it.
    It's just I still don't really know how it went wrong. For example, I'd be talking to her and she'd seem distressed and upset, but when I ask what was wrong she'd be agressive and we'd end up falling out. This sort of thing happened many times
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    (Original post by LDS16)
    It's just I still don't really know how it went wrong. For example, I'd be talking to her and she'd seem distressed and upset, but when I ask what was wrong she'd be agressive and we'd end up falling out. This sort of thing happened many times
    if this is her reaction to a simple query then she's really closed off, no wonder it didn't work out between you and her. Until she realises this, she will never have someone long-term
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    (Original post by Sgt.Golden)
    I would personally say that you should go. This could be one of the only nights you will strongly remember after a number of years when it comes to your years of education.

    I do think that it may be a good idea to attempt to talk to her and explain your feelings to her. Why? For the simple reason that you will not be left with the idea that you had the option to heal or improve your friendship but you did not try. Yes, you may have an outcome which you do not like however at least you will know that you have tried. Now, I am not really sure if you should do it on your prom night. Just because your discussion my end badly and both of your nights would be destroyed. However, if you get a point where you are alone and have the time to talk then give it a try. If you see that she does not want to talk that night then don't push it because it may make it worse.

    I really hope all the best and that you are able to resolve this. However, please remember that people come in our life's and leave it, sadly. It is something more painful then other times but we have no options to stop because the time just keeps going. Stay positive and if needed remember the best parts of what has happened, never the negative.


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    Thank you for the reply. I will be going to the prom tomorrow. I can see what you mean, I'll try and talk to her if the moment is right. Thanks again for your advice, I'm trying to accept the fact of people moving in and out of my life, it just didn't seem possible that it would happen with us though. I guess that whilst you're friends with someone, it never does seem possible, but now there doesn't seem to be a way back. But I'll do what you said, thank you
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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    if this is her reaction to a simple query then she's really closed off, no wonder it didn't work out between you and her. Until she realises this, she will never have someone long-term
    Whilst I see what you're saying, she wasn't like that all the time, at least not with me. She was very open about a lot of things, and her changing to being closed off and cold was what worried me and ultimately what eroded our relationship and friendship
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    I have a friend who does not like to share much of his problems because he feels like he is taking other people's time with his own drama. The way I have been able to deal with this was to simple tell him. That I am here for him and will always be ready to talk and hear him. However, if I saw that he did not want to talk about it (If something has happened) then I just try not to push him. He has always in the end of the day open, soon or later.




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    (Original post by Sgt.Golden)
    I have a friend who does not like to share much of his problems because he feels like he is taking other people's time with his own drama. The way I have been able to deal with this was to simple tell him. That I am here for him and will always be ready to talk and hear him. However, if I saw that he did not want to talk about it (If something has happened) then I just try not to push him. He has always in the end of the day open, soon or later.




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    Hi, I didn't see this post until now. Thanks for telling me that, gives me some more perspective. Just come back from prom (and straight on TSR lmao) and it was such an unforgetable great night. I spoke to the girl, and we spoke quite a bit tonight, and got some photos (non-awkward this time) taken and danced together, generally had a good time. Apart from her, I really enjoyed myself and had a great time. She's now saying she wants to arrange to meet up sometime soon and seems much more open. So thank you, and shawn_o1, for your advice. Worked out in the end
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    (Original post by LDS16)
    Hi, I didn't see this post until now. Thanks for telling me that, gives me some more perspective. Just come back from prom (and straight on TSR lmao) and it was such an unforgetable great night. I spoke to the girl, and we spoke quite a bit tonight, and got some photos (non-awkward this time) taken and danced together, generally had a good time. Apart from her, I really enjoyed myself and had a great time. She's now saying she wants to arrange to meet up sometime soon and seems much more open. So thank you, and shawn_o1, for your advice. Worked out in the end
    This is very good news. No word of a lie, it actually put a smile on my face. Well played, sir, and good luck.
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    This is very good news. No word of a lie, it actually put a smile on my face. Well played, sir, and good luck.
    Dude what are you doing
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    (Original post by LDS16)
    Hi, I didn't see this post until now. Thanks for telling me that, gives me some more perspective. Just come back from prom (and straight on TSR lmao) and it was such an unforgetable great night. I spoke to the girl, and we spoke quite a bit tonight, and got some photos (non-awkward this time) taken and danced together, generally had a good time. Apart from her, I really enjoyed myself and had a great time. She's now saying she wants to arrange to meet up sometime soon and seems much more open. So thank you, and shawn_o1, for your advice. Worked out in the end
    Can I say that you not only had a amazing night but you have just made my night. What an amazing update to read. Thank you! I hope this is a new and better start to your friendship. Damn, you put a smile on my face. Good luck with the meet up and I hope everything else can be resolve.
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    This is very good news. No word of a lie, it actually put a smile on my face. Well played, sir, and good luck.
    Thank you, glad it made you smile
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    (Original post by Sgt.Golden)
    Can I say that you not only had a amazing night but you have just made my night. What an amazing update to read. Thank you! I hope this is a new and better start to your friendship. Damn, you put a smile on my face. Good luck with the meet up and I hope everything else can be resolve.
    You're very welcome haha. Me too, it looks like everything will slowly work itself out, I'm glad I won't be regretting not doing anything either. Now to enjoy summer!! (Apart from results day)
 
 
 
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