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Really don't want to go to uni as a virgin

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Reply 20
Don't rush it, it's no big deal.

You're clearly not ready and that's ok
Original post by Anonymous
Hey,

So basically, I'm an 18 year old girl who has never really done anything with anybody before. I've made out with a female friend once, but that's only because I was extremely drunk and I don't remember it.
And it's not like I haven't dated- I dated a guy for a few weeks in year 11 and then dated another guy in year 12 for 2 weeks before I dumped him. It's not like I haven't had offers either - guys have tried to get off with me at parties, I always get a load of matches and messages on Tinder (though I think that's just the typical tinder experience, haha) and most recently a guy in my year was forward enough to come right up to me and tell me he thought I was fit, and then we proceeded to flirt outrageously over texts.
My problem is that I never let it get too far, or far enough really. Once guys start hinting at something more than just flirting/holding hands I get scared and back off. It's not that I don't want to do it, because I do - the most recent guy was somebody that I thought was really fit. I think it's more to do with the fact that I'm scared that if I let these guys get too close then they'll see that I'm actually not that attractive, or they may be repulsed by my lack of experience or my many, many flaws.

But the point is that I don't want to go to uni and still be this way, because I kind of feel like it'll hold me back. How can I get over this? Any tips?
From getting your degree?

Get over yourself, and get your priorities straight. You don't go to university to ****, you go because you want to spend tens of thousands of pounds on a degree you'll never actually use.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey,

So basically, I'm an 18 year old girl who has never really done anything with anybody before. I've made out with a female friend once, but that's only because I was extremely drunk and I don't remember it.
And it's not like I haven't dated- I dated a guy for a few weeks in year 11 and then dated another guy in year 12 for 2 weeks before I dumped him. It's not like I haven't had offers either - guys have tried to get off with me at parties, I always get a load of matches and messages on Tinder (though I think that's just the typical tinder experience, haha) and most recently a guy in my year was forward enough to come right up to me and tell me he thought I was fit, and then we proceeded to flirt outrageously over texts.
My problem is that I never let it get too far, or far enough really. Once guys start hinting at something more than just flirting/holding hands I get scared and back off. It's not that I don't want to do it, because I do - the most recent guy was somebody that I thought was really fit. I think it's more to do with the fact that I'm scared that if I let these guys get too close then they'll see that I'm actually not that attractive, or they may be repulsed by my lack of experience or my many, many flaws.

But the point is that I don't want to go to uni and still be this way, because I kind of feel like it'll hold me back. How can I get over this? Any tips?


I'm an 18 year old girl. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never even got past being friends with a guy. I've never kissed a guy and the most I've done would be one hug I've had with a guy. So I'll also be going to uni as a complete Virgin who barely knows what a penis looks Like - but do I care ? Not really cause I know life will happen and I should hopefully meet someone . I know you might feel like the odd one out but you're not going to be the only one like this and there are more important things to be worried about at your age :smile:
Reply 23
I would wait and do it when you feel like it. No stigma for a girl, seems like you can choose your moment and there'll be a wider choice at uni.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey,

So basically, I'm an 18 year old girl who has never really done anything with anybody before. I've made out with a female friend once, but that's only because I was extremely drunk and I don't remember it.
And it's not like I haven't dated- I dated a guy for a few weeks in year 11 and then dated another guy in year 12 for 2 weeks before I dumped him. It's not like I haven't had offers either - guys have tried to get off with me at parties, I always get a load of matches and messages on Tinder (though I think that's just the typical tinder experience, haha) and most recently a guy in my year was forward enough to come right up to me and tell me he thought I was fit, and then we proceeded to flirt outrageously over texts.
My problem is that I never let it get too far, or far enough really. Once guys start hinting at something more than just flirting/holding hands I get scared and back off. It's not that I don't want to do it, because I do - the most recent guy was somebody that I thought was really fit. I think it's more to do with the fact that I'm scared that if I let these guys get too close then they'll see that I'm actually not that attractive, or they may be repulsed by my lack of experience or my many, many flaws.

But the point is that I don't want to go to uni and still be this way, because I kind of feel like it'll hold me back. How can I get over this? Any tips?


Have sex? Which uni are you going to? Maybe I'll be able to fix the problem xD
Original post by Anonymous
I'm an 18 year old girl. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never even got past being friends with a guy. I've never kissed a guy and the most I've done would be one hug I've had with a guy. So I'll also be going to uni as a complete Virgin who barely knows what a penis looks Like - but do I care ? Not really cause I know life will happen and I should hopefully meet someone . I know you might feel like the odd one out but you're not going to be the only one like this and there are more important things to be worried about at your age :smile:


Original post by Platopus
I'm an 18 year old girl too. I'm a virgin and unless something very strange happens in the near future, I will be going to uni a virgin but that doesn't upset me. I've never even been on a date, so you're one ahead of me. I have friends who are also in the same situation as us, so don't feel like you will be weird.



Nice to know that there's others out there in a similar situation :smile: I'm an anomaly in my group of friends so hearing that it's not completely weird is definitely reassuring. Thanks for replying! :biggrin:
Original post by Tootles
From getting your degree?

Get over yourself, and get your priorities straight. You don't go to university to ****, you go because you want to spend tens of thousands of pounds on a degree you'll never actually use.


No? I spoke quite candidly about my self-esteem issues, so was clearly referring to the fact that my low self-esteem was gonna hold me back when I got to uni.

No need to be so rude, I'm allowed to worry about things other than school, for ****s sake. I've spent the last 4 months slaving over A2s, give me a break. I'm a teenager, worrying about sex isn't a ****ing crime. And I never said I was going to university to have sex, did I?
Original post by Anonymous
Nice to know that there's others out there in a similar situation :smile: I'm an anomaly in my group of friends so hearing that it's not completely weird is definitely reassuring. Thanks for replying! :biggrin:

Well I do go to an all girls school so that's probably why most of my friends are in the same position... But, remember that there will be others at uni who have done from single sex schools
Honestly when it'll be the right guy, you'll know
Uhh... What does that have to do with your education? I'm sure there are plenty of virgins in college. It really isn't that serious.
There will be opportunities on campus to lose your virginity.
Original post by SmileyVibe
Uhh... What does that have to do with your education? I'm sure there are plenty of virgins in college. It really isn't that serious.
There will be opportunities on campus to lose your virginity.


I didn't say it had anything to do with my education? I meant that my low self-esteem was gonna hold me back, not my virginity.
Original post by Anonymous
No? I spoke quite candidly about my self-esteem issues, so was clearly referring to the fact that my low self-esteem was gonna hold me back when I got to uni.

No need to be so rude, I'm allowed to worry about things other than school, for ****s sake. I've spent the last 4 months slaving over A2s, give me a break. I'm a teenager, worrying about sex isn't a ****ing crime. And I never said I was going to university to have sex, did I?
Having random sex so you don't have to go to uni a virgin isn't the best way to improve your self-esteem. And it isn't fact, it's opinion; you expect that to be the case but it needn't be. You don't need sex to make you feel better about yourself. You have sex because sex feels good, and because you want to do it with the person you're doing it with.

Of course you're allowed to worry about things other than school. But sex is just sex. In and of itself unimportant, and not the reason why a person goes to university - if it is, then people's priorities really are munged up. Obviously it's nice when you get it, but it's just a thing.

Also I don't know what you expect me to say about your "4 months slaving over A2s" - congratulations? Whose fault is that?
Original post by Anonymous
Hey,

So basically, I'm an 18 year old girl who has never really done anything with anybody before. I've made out with a female friend once, but that's only because I was extremely drunk and I don't remember it.
And it's not like I haven't dated- I dated a guy for a few weeks in year 11 and then dated another guy in year 12 for 2 weeks before I dumped him. It's not like I haven't had offers either - guys have tried to get off with me at parties, I always get a load of matches and messages on Tinder (though I think that's just the typical tinder experience, haha) and most recently a guy in my year was forward enough to come right up to me and tell me he thought I was fit, and then we proceeded to flirt outrageously over texts.
My problem is that I never let it get too far, or far enough really. Once guys start hinting at something more than just flirting/holding hands I get scared and back off. It's not that I don't want to do it, because I do - the most recent guy was somebody that I thought was really fit. I think it's more to do with the fact that I'm scared that if I let these guys get too close then they'll see that I'm actually not that attractive, or they may be repulsed by my lack of experience or my many, many flaws.

But the point is that I don't want to go to uni and still be this way, because I kind of feel like it'll hold me back. How can I get over this? Any tips?


I'm going into my third year and I'm still a virgin. Be proud of your yourself and one day you'll find someone :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
I didn't say it had anything to do with my education? I meant that my low self-esteem was gonna hold me back, not my virginity.


Oh. My bad. So ... you're saying you have low self esteem because of you haven't lost your virginity? I don't know if you visited your colleges yet but I have. Just be yourself and find people who relate to you and/or you "click" with. I don't really see the point of losing your virginity just for the sake of it as attempt to gain confidence because I'm sure you'll still have low self esteem issues except you won't be a virgin anymore. You really should start accepting yourself for what you are, and have instead of basing it on whether a guy wants to screw you or not.

Guys do offer screw its fun for them. There doesn't have to be any attraction at all or strings attached. It sounds problematic source of self esteem. That's just me though. You would probably feel even worse losing your virginity to a guy who doesn't care about you as a person since you can only be a virgin once than still being a virgin but at least losing it to someone who cares.
Original post by shawn_o1
I went to uni a virgin,
I came out of uni a virgin (with First Class degree).
NO BIG DEAL


Not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with being a virgin, but you can't really use a first class degree as an excuse or justification or whatever your motive was. It's very much possible to have the time to both have sex and get a first. By all means if you wanted to remain a Virgin that's your prerogative, but don't speak as if you can't have one without the other.


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Original post by Anonymous
Hey,

So basically, I'm an 18 year old girl who has never really done anything with anybody before. I've made out with a female friend once, but that's only because I was extremely drunk and I don't remember it.
And it's not like I haven't dated- I dated a guy for a few weeks in year 11 and then dated another guy in year 12 for 2 weeks before I dumped him. It's not like I haven't had offers either - guys have tried to get off with me at parties, I always get a load of matches and messages on Tinder (though I think that's just the typical tinder experience, haha) and most recently a guy in my year was forward enough to come right up to me and tell me he thought I was fit, and then we proceeded to flirt outrageously over texts.
My problem is that I never let it get too far, or far enough really. Once guys start hinting at something more than just flirting/holding hands I get scared and back off. It's not that I don't want to do it, because I do - the most recent guy was somebody that I thought was really fit. I think it's more to do with the fact that I'm scared that if I let these guys get too close then they'll see that I'm actually not that attractive, or they may be repulsed by my lack of experience or my many, many flaws.

But the point is that I don't want to go to uni and still be this way, because I kind of feel like it'll hold me back. How can I get over this? Any tips?



hey it's fine, no one really cares in college
I wouldnt worry. Plenty of people will be before and after. If you find the right person it wont be an issue, dont be in such a rush and ceratinly dont stress about it.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey,

So basically, I'm an 18 year old girl who has never really done anything with anybody before. I've made out with a female friend once, but that's only because I was extremely drunk and I don't remember it.
And it's not like I haven't dated- I dated a guy for a few weeks in year 11 and then dated another guy in year 12 for 2 weeks before I dumped him. It's not like I haven't had offers either - guys have tried to get off with me at parties, I always get a load of matches and messages on Tinder (though I think that's just the typical tinder experience, haha) and most recently a guy in my year was forward enough to come right up to me and tell me he thought I was fit, and then we proceeded to flirt outrageously over texts.
My problem is that I never let it get too far, or far enough really. Once guys start hinting at something more than just flirting/holding hands I get scared and back off. It's not that I don't want to do it, because I do - the most recent guy was somebody that I thought was really fit. I think it's more to do with the fact that I'm scared that if I let these guys get too close then they'll see that I'm actually not that attractive, or they may be repulsed by my lack of experience or my many, many flaws.

But the point is that I don't want to go to uni and still be this way, because I kind of feel like it'll hold me back. How can I get over this? Any tips?
I don't have any tips to offer you, I just wondered why is all these threads and the OP is always anonymous. Are real people making these threads?
Original post by Anonymous
Hey,

So basically, I'm an 18 year old girl who has never really done anything with anybody before. I've made out with a female friend once, but that's only because I was extremely drunk and I don't remember it.
And it's not like I haven't dated- I dated a guy for a few weeks in year 11 and then dated another guy in year 12 for 2 weeks before I dumped him. It's not like I haven't had offers either - guys have tried to get off with me at parties, I always get a load of matches and messages on Tinder (though I think that's just the typical tinder experience, haha) and most recently a guy in my year was forward enough to come right up to me and tell me he thought I was fit, and then we proceeded to flirt outrageously over texts.
My problem is that I never let it get too far, or far enough really. Once guys start hinting at something more than just flirting/holding hands I get scared and back off. It's not that I don't want to do it, because I do - the most recent guy was somebody that I thought was really fit. I think it's more to do with the fact that I'm scared that if I let these guys get too close then they'll see that I'm actually not that attractive, or they may be repulsed by my lack of experience or my many, many flaws.

But the point is that I don't want to go to uni and still be this way, because I kind of feel like it'll hold me back. How can I get over this? Any tips?
I don't have any tips to offer you, I just wonder why is in all these juicy threads the OP is always anonymous.?Are real people making these threads? The world is such a scary place now with all these terror acts and the people on here are asking for advice on when they should lose their virginity or if they are attractive. None of that stuff really matters. For all those anonymous OPs I decided to make my post anonymously LOL LOL :tongue:
University is a rather expensive way to lose your virginity isn't it ?

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