I have no paedophilic tendencies and no desire to rape anybody, so hopefully ill be ok legally.
But i just feel so dirty. I had a romantic crush on a girl for 3-4 years back when i was in school and was mute with.no friends in spite of good academics and idealised her thinking she understood me and thought i was the best. Then she started ****ing everyone except me and went around saying i was stalking her (i suspect because i saw her in a library by chance during a school holiday and walked off after looking awkwardly at her for a second or two). This was in final year of school and i was bullied severely because of it. I went on till the enf of the year and went off to uni, which i dropped out of with schizophrenia at 20 after being top of my school.
Now im 24 and struggling with employment while shes straightened out and has a good, respectable job.
I havent felt "in love" or whatever youd call it since the "stalkin" accusation. Now im overweight on my pills and have swung from being a real believer in only meanigful relationships to not giving a ****, watchih huge amounts of porn and going on adult dating sites looking to **** even though i never follow it through and am still a virgin. Back when i ha my crush i never looked at porn and my brother and his gf even tried yo get me a sexual relationship witha keen girl at 16, whicg i declined because i wasnt in live with her.
I just feel ruined and dirty. The doctors cant help me.
Feel like such a dirty person Watch
- Thread Starter
- 01-07-2016 18:05
- 01-07-2016 18:50
Perhaps talk to someone, professionally