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Going into second year and really lonely watch

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    Hey, I go to the University of Birmingham and am going into my second year studying psychology. The only problem is that I live at home because, to be honest, I was too scared/shy to live on campus. I was bullied in secondary school and that has affected me ever since. I only talk to one person, and that person doesn't talk to me outside of university. I feel so lonely and it makes me hate uni. All I do is sit at home not talking to anyone because my old friends have moved on and have new friends at their universities now.
    I really want to be involved but I don't know what to do because second year is starting soon and everybody else made their friends a long time ago. It makes me so sad, any advice?
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    (Original post by jtdxo)
    Hey, I go to the University of Birmingham and am going into my second year studying psychology. The only problem is that I live at home because, to be honest, I was too scared/shy to live on campus. I was bullied in secondary school and that has affected me ever since. I only talk to one person, and that person doesn't talk to me outside of university. I feel so lonely and it makes me hate uni. All I do is sit at home not talking to anyone because my old friends have moved on and have new friends at their universities now.
    I really want to be involved but I don't know what to do because second year is starting soon and everybody else made their friends a long time ago. It makes me so sad, any advice?
    good idea to start going to a club or society, i made lots of friends that way
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    (Original post by bookworm246love)
    good idea to start going to a club or society, i made lots of friends that way
    I feel like it's even too late to do that, I'm terrified of going and everybody being in their own groups talking and I'm just standing there alone. It would take so much courage for me to even go on my own and I don't know how to get past it
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    (Original post by jtdxo)
    I feel like it's even too late to do that, I'm terrified of going and everybody being in their own groups talking and I'm just standing there alone. It would take so much courage for me to even go on my own and I don't know how to get past it
    i completely understand how you feel :hugs: at sixth form i lost my best friend and had no one to turn to

    i'm sure not everyone will be in their own groups, but even so i'm sure they will be lovely you just need to give it a try and i'm sure it will be all okay
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    What have you got to lose?
    Just be open and friendly.
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    (Original post by jtdxo)
    Hey, I go to the University of Birmingham and am going into my second year studying psychology. The only problem is that I live at home because, to be honest, I was too scared/shy to live on campus. I was bullied in secondary school and that has affected me ever since. I only talk to one person, and that person doesn't talk to me outside of university. I feel so lonely and it makes me hate uni. All I do is sit at home not talking to anyone because my old friends have moved on and have new friends at their universities now.
    I really want to be involved but I don't know what to do because second year is starting soon and everybody else made their friends a long time ago. It makes me so sad, any advice?
    I'm pretty much in the same situation as you- going into the second year of Psychology, but at a different university to you. I don't really speak to anyone at university unless I have to (for assignments, etc), and always chose to sit alone and stuff. I even purposely missed loads of sessions because I know that the lecturers would always say pointless crap such as 'have a chat with the person next to you about _____'. I don't talk to anyone outside of university either.I'd feel embarrassed about joining societies.
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    I know I really should haha! The only other problem is that almost everyone at my university comes from a wealthy background and are really posh and have done loads of cool stuff in their lives whereas I come from a council estate in an area of Birmingham that is classed as 'deprived'. I feel almost not good enough and feel like I can't relate to people there. I feel like if I be myself they'll think I'm an idiot but I don't want to act like something I'm not either. Maybe I'm thinking too much into it and it's my problem for being too self conscious and shy haha
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    (Original post by Wiggly)
    I'm pretty much in the same situation as you- going into the second year of Psychology, but at a different university to you. I don't really speak to anyone at university unless I have to (for assignments, etc), and always chose to sit alone and stuff. I even purposely missed loads of sessions because I know that the lecturers would always say pointless crap such as 'have a chat with the person next to you about _____'. I don't talk to anyone outside of university either.I'd feel embarrassed about joining societies.
    Shame we don't go to the same university! And I get what you mean about the talk to the person next to you thing. I'm that person who sits there staring at the desk when everyone else is having discussions with everyone else.
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    (Original post by jtdxo)
    Shame we don't go to the same university! And I get what you mean about the talk to the person next to you thing. I'm that person who sits there staring at the desk when everyone else is having discussions with everyone else.
    Aha, so many times I have walked out of workshops and stuff early because of being bored of trying to look as though I am not lonely when everyone else is chatting away. Certain groups of friends usually have their specific places in the lecture hall to sit too, so I usually try coming in a bit late to make sure that I'm not sitting where anyone else wants to sit and therefore disrupting the cliques. If we did go to the same university, do you think we would even manage to talk to eachother or would we just be the two 'awkward' people on the opposite sides of the room?
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    (Original post by jtdxo)
    Hey, I go to the University of Birmingham and am going into my second year studying psychology. The only problem is that I live at home because, to be honest, I was too scared/shy to live on campus. I was bullied in secondary school and that has affected me ever since. I only talk to one person, and that person doesn't talk to me outside of university. I feel so lonely and it makes me hate uni. All I do is sit at home not talking to anyone because my old friends have moved on and have new friends at their universities now.
    I really want to be involved but I don't know what to do because second year is starting soon and everybody else made their friends a long time ago. It makes me so sad, any advice?
    Hello

    All I'll tell you is university is not like any other stage of Education. It's very different and it's not like high school or college where you made friends and they were your friends for the whole of your duration there. University, friendship groups change often. It's not to say that you aren't friends with the people you started with - it just means your social contacts are changing and you realise a certain person is better at supporting you and another at academic conversation and so on and so forth. Just because have made their friends it doesn't mean you aren't going to be able to makes friends going into your second year.

    Outreach to people on your course. After a lecturer ask if they want to go to the library to study and research or work on some group work - after that ask if any of them want to go grab a drink after a long lecture or something. Those other students share at least one similar interest as you so you'll have something to talk about.

    If not, start joining societies (make your own if you feel like it) and start socialising with people that have similar interests to you.

    You can do it, good luck
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    As others have said, try joining a society. A surprising number of second years join them having tried out a different one in first year and not really liked it, or just want to get involved in uni more. People are also much more open to making friends as well and most people tend to not really know anyone. You might have to try out several to find one that suits you, as I've found each society attracts particular types of people, but good luck and I'm sure you'll find something


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    Joining clubs and societies is a good way of meeting new people at uni, if you're doing group work as well you can always suggest grabbing a coffee/food afterwards, if the course is hosting a guest lecture or social event then try go to that as well. I did psychology at undergrad and I'm doing a psychology MSc at Aston Uni and I found it easier getting to know my coursemates during my Masters because there were only 15 of us whereas psychology undergrad courses have like 200+ students.
    Does your course have a Facebook group (probably called something like UoB BSc Psychology 15/16 or 14/15 given you're in second year) you can join? They're usually created by a student to stimulate discussion about the course, create events and provide opportunities to take part in 2nd year research. If so then join that as well because that way you'll stay in the loop with what's going on.
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    Join society's, that's the easiest way to make friends
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    (Original post by jtdxo)
    I know I really should haha! The only other problem is that almost everyone at my university comes from a wealthy background and are really posh and have done loads of cool stuff in their lives whereas I come from a council estate in an area of Birmingham that is classed as 'deprived'. I feel almost not good enough and feel like I can't relate to people there. I feel like if I be myself they'll think I'm an idiot but I don't want to act like something I'm not either. Maybe I'm thinking too much into it and it's my problem for being too self conscious and shy haha
    Same lol, so i dont really fit in. Same uni, different course
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    you decided to live at home for the first year because you were too scared/shy, but living at home has made you even more scared/shy because you feel lonely and friendless now. what did you expect would happen?

    definitely join more societies and clubs, and move into halls as a second year if possible.
 
 
 
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