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Cheated on my long term relationship watch

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    It will be 4 years in December that me and my boyfriend would have been together. We've had a pretty easy relationship. He's never done wrong by me, he's been kind, loyal and I'm part of his family. We got together when we were 15 and now we are both 19 nearly 20.
    However, from day 1, we both knew that we are completely different. We hardly have anything in common, we are complete opposites. I'm outgoing, love meeting people and i want so much out of life etc. Him, on the other hand, he's always been quite, likes to stay at home on the Xbox and it took him forever to even want to get up and get a job.
    Anyways, of course i care for him because naturally being with someone for that long, you would. I've never cheated before in my life. In fact i was so against cheating. Would never dream of it, even when i was out drinking i said no to any lads.
    It's always been at the back of my mind that me and my boyfriend will not last, we are too different and we want different things in life. However, only recently I've been able to think more about me due to being busy all the time since i work, i study and fitting in a social life and boyfriend, i guess i just got used to/comfortable with the routine i had in my life. Never thought about change (although i am not good with change to begin with).
    Lately, I've been speaking to another lad, as a friend but now things have moved on and we ended up kissing and then the next i know I've spent the whole week with this other guy and slept with him. I know this guy very well. He's more like me and we just get on so much. But i do not understand why i've allowed myself for this to happen. I've even told the guy I'm no longer with my boyfriend :/. I've been so out of character recently and i know i need to break up with my boyfriend cause i can't live 2 lives. I just want to feel like me and do what i want. I do not want to get into another relationship after for a while, i just miss feeling young and enjoying my life. As the relationship got too serious for me and i don't think I'm ready to be making commitments to another when i no longer feel for them. But i do not know what to do, what to say to my boyfriend and i'm still in shock that I've done what I've done.... I just need a little advise.... :/
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    This is why people are wrong when they say "Opposite attracts". :rolleyes:

    It was fairly obvious that you and your boyfriend were not meant to be, but you forced a relationship anyway. Why's that? I think that is the mistake you made here. Perhaps it was because you was young and wanted to experience how relationships are. But honestly, I don't think that you have perused that relationship.
    You have made a big mistake in cheating. You should have dumped your boyfriend before moving onto the next guy. However don't tell your boyfriend what you have done, it's pointless and it will create more trouble. Just dump him and tell him that you two just aren't meant to be and that there are too many dissimilarities between you two.

    You mentioned that you don't want to get into another relationship? Then stop leading on the other guy and making it seem like it then, I just feel like you are causing a whole amount of trouble for yourself. You seem like you want to explore yourself and find yourself more because you are young, that's absolutely fine but don't lead guys on.
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    Tell your boyfriend

    Break up with your boyfriend

    Two options.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It will be 4 years in December that me and my boyfriend would have been together. We've had a pretty easy relationship. He's never done wrong by me, he's been kind, loyal and I'm part of his family. We got together when we were 15 and now we are both 19 nearly 20.
    However, from day 1, we both knew that we are completely different. We hardly have anything in common, we are complete opposites. I'm outgoing, love meeting people and i want so much out of life etc. Him, on the other hand, he's always been quite, likes to stay at home on the Xbox and it took him forever to even want to get up and get a job.
    Anyways, of course i care for him because naturally being with someone for that long, you would. I've never cheated before in my life. In fact i was so against cheating. Would never dream of it, even when i was out drinking i said no to any lads.
    It's always been at the back of my mind that me and my boyfriend will not last, we are too different and we want different things in life. However, only recently I've been able to think more about me due to being busy all the time since i work, i study and fitting in a social life and boyfriend, i guess i just got used to/comfortable with the routine i had in my life. Never thought about change (although i am not good with change to begin with).
    Lately, I've been speaking to another lad, as a friend but now things have moved on and we ended up kissing and then the next i know I've spent the whole week with this other guy and slept with him. I know this guy very well. He's more like me and we just get on so much. But i do not understand why i've allowed myself for this to happen. I've even told the guy I'm no longer with my boyfriend :/. I've been so out of character recently and i know i need to break up with my boyfriend cause i can't live 2 lives. I just want to feel like me and do what i want. I do not want to get into another relationship after for a while, i just miss feeling young and enjoying my life. As the relationship got too serious for me and i don't think I'm ready to be making commitments to another when i no longer feel for them. But i do not know what to do, what to say to my boyfriend and i'm still in shock that I've done what I've done.... I just need a little advise.... :/
    Wow 4 years is a long time, I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years now and she's been loyal, the way you've described your boyfriend. The way you said your outgoing and your boyfriend likes to stay home is exactly like me and my girlfriend. 5 months ago me and my girlfriend broke up because she needed a break and I instantly knew she was catching feelings for someone else so I didn't say anything. But are you sure you don't have feelings for your boyfriend anymore, I mean imagine how his gonna feel. I think you should tell him exactly what you've done and how feel, tell him you can't live two lives and you don't know why or how it happened but mainly tell him you never wanted to hurt him. If he really loves you, he'll understand and maybe you may realise that he actually is the one you want and need because me and my girlfriend are now back together after 5 months because she realised back then she was confused. I hope everything goes good for you!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It will be 4 years in December that me and my boyfriend would have been together. We've had a pretty easy relationship. He's never done wrong by me, he's been kind, loyal and I'm part of his family. We got together when we were 15 and now we are both 19 nearly 20.
    However, from day 1, we both knew that we are completely different. We hardly have anything in common, we are complete opposites. I'm outgoing, love meeting people and i want so much out of life etc. Him, on the other hand, he's always been quite, likes to stay at home on the Xbox and it took him forever to even want to get up and get a job.
    Anyways, of course i care for him because naturally being with someone for that long, you would. I've never cheated before in my life. In fact i was so against cheating. Would never dream of it, even when i was out drinking i said no to any lads.
    It's always been at the back of my mind that me and my boyfriend will not last, we are too different and we want different things in life. However, only recently I've been able to think more about me due to being busy all the time since i work, i study and fitting in a social life and boyfriend, i guess i just got used to/comfortable with the routine i had in my life. Never thought about change (although i am not good with change to begin with).
    Lately, I've been speaking to another lad, as a friend but now things have moved on and we ended up kissing and then the next i know I've spent the whole week with this other guy and slept with him. I know this guy very well. He's more like me and we just get on so much. But i do not understand why i've allowed myself for this to happen. I've even told the guy I'm no longer with my boyfriend :/. I've been so out of character recently and i know i need to break up with my boyfriend cause i can't live 2 lives. I just want to feel like me and do what i want. I do not want to get into another relationship after for a while, i just miss feeling young and enjoying my life. As the relationship got too serious for me and i don't think I'm ready to be making commitments to another when i no longer feel for them. But i do not know what to do, what to say to my boyfriend and i'm still in shock that I've done what I've done.... I just need a little advise.... :/
    Pretty obvious what you need to do. You need to end it with your boyfriend so he can find someone who wants to be with him, learn from it in future when you do get in another relationship. I imagine you wouldn't be happy if you got cheated on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It will be 4 years in December that me and my boyfriend would have been together. We've had a pretty easy relationship. He's never done wrong by me, he's been kind, loyal and I'm part of his family. We got together when we were 15 and now we are both 19 nearly 20.
    However, from day 1, we both knew that we are completely different. We hardly have anything in common, we are complete opposites. I'm outgoing, love meeting people and i want so much out of life etc. Him, on the other hand, he's always been quite, likes to stay at home on the Xbox and it took him forever to even want to get up and get a job.
    Anyways, of course i care for him because naturally being with someone for that long, you would. I've never cheated before in my life. In fact i was so against cheating. Would never dream of it, even when i was out drinking i said no to any lads.
    It's always been at the back of my mind that me and my boyfriend will not last, we are too different and we want different things in life. However, only recently I've been able to think more about me due to being busy all the time since i work, i study and fitting in a social life and boyfriend, i guess i just got used to/comfortable with the routine i had in my life. Never thought about change (although i am not good with change to begin with).
    Lately, I've been speaking to another lad, as a friend but now things have moved on and we ended up kissing and then the next i know I've spent the whole week with this other guy and slept with him. I know this guy very well. He's more like me and we just get on so much. But i do not understand why i've allowed myself for this to happen. I've even told the guy I'm no longer with my boyfriend :/. I've been so out of character recently and i know i need to break up with my boyfriend cause i can't live 2 lives. I just want to feel like me and do what i want. I do not want to get into another relationship after for a while, i just miss feeling young and enjoying my life. As the relationship got too serious for me and i don't think I'm ready to be making commitments to another when i no longer feel for them. But i do not know what to do, what to say to my boyfriend and i'm still in shock that I've done what I've done.... I just need a little advise.... :/
    Funnily enough, I know someone who was in this predicament a while ago. Him and his girlfriend are opposites a lot, music, he wants to go travelling (apparently) while she wants to settle down and have kids by the age of 25, she wants to be serious while he isn't. She's quite close to her family while he isn't. Me and him are more the same, both terrified of spiders, both did media, music. If anything. He was like the male version of me. I want to go travelling, I don't want to settle down just yet etc.

    Anyway, it was wrong - but me and him kissed and he became confused on whether he should still be with his girlfriend. In the end, he did split up with her and me and him became closer, he got to enjoy single life (like he wanted) and in the end, we slept together...

    Wrong decision ever for me to get myself in this situation since he said to me in the end, he just wants to be my friend and after six months got back with his ex and originally wasn't even going to tell her what he did!! (He cheated on her once before with someone else) his friends persuaded him in the end that he needed to tell her and I said he can't start a relationship again with her if he hasn't told her the truth. He ended up lying to my face about even still liking her, telling me he wasn't interested!!!

    It's safe to say, he ended up blocking me on everything public E.g. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. But weirdly enough, he hasn't blocked me on what's app or snapchat. I know this is just to be nosey in guessing otherwise I don't have a clue. -.- I learned my lesson the hard way. It was karma to me in the end... But he knew he could get back with her, he even said he could if he wanted and that's exactly what he did. She's a fool to take him back and tbh, I'm better off without him (it's hard, yes, because it's hard for me to connect with people and I really did with him, made myself vulnerable etc.)

    Give it a year and I know, he will be bored of the relationship once again and wander off or thinks it's not working out... (He also hated how bossy she was apparently. He even said I was more spontaneous then her and she just likes routine and plus, I'm confident I know him that well to know what he's like. If he proves me wrong, then great I suppose)

    You need to tell him the truth and think hard about this. This guy I knew was lucky he could go back after thinking he made the right decision but it's not like that for everyone :/ I think it would be wrong for you to rush into another relationship, yes. You are correct but if you do dump him, you need to be honest. You really do.


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    we are completely different. I'm outgoing. Him, on the other hand..
    It's fairly well known that opposites don't attract (or, more specifically, last) when it comes to distinct personality types

    the next i know I've spent the whole week with this other guy and slept with him
    The next thing you know? Ok love..

    i do not understand why i've allowed myself for this to happen
    You're weak willed

    I've even told the guy I'm no longer with my boyfriend :/
    ..and a callous liar

    i just miss feeling young and enjoying my life
    ..and too immature for a high quality, stable relationship

    i do not know what to do
    1) Tell your boyfriend you think you're too different, don't see a future, and that you are, regrettably, going to have to end it

    2) Resolve to never cheat on anyone, ever again
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    What you did was evil and disgusting, even now you are making excuses for your weak-willed and pathetic behaviour. Break up and move on.
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    Tell your boyfriend, he deserves to be told no matter how difficult it is for you to say it.

    If you've cheated, then you clearly don't have the resolve to be faithful with your current BF or you dont feel the way you used to about him. The right thing to do is break up.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It will be 4 years in December that me and my boyfriend would have been together. We've had a pretty easy relationship. He's never done wrong by me, he's been kind, loyal and I'm part of his family. We got together when we were 15 and now we are both 19 nearly 20.
    However, from day 1, we both knew that we are completely different. We hardly have anything in common, we are complete opposites. I'm outgoing, love meeting people and i want so much out of life etc. Him, on the other hand, he's always been quite, likes to stay at home on the Xbox and it took him forever to even want to get up and get a job.
    Anyways, of course i care for him because naturally being with someone for that long, you would. I've never cheated before in my life. In fact i was so against cheating. Would never dream of it, even when i was out drinking i said no to any lads.
    It's always been at the back of my mind that me and my boyfriend will not last, we are too different and we want different things in life. However, only recently I've been able to think more about me due to being busy all the time since i work, i study and fitting in a social life and boyfriend, i guess i just got used to/comfortable with the routine i had in my life. Never thought about change (although i am not good with change to begin with).
    Lately, I've been speaking to another lad, as a friend but now things have moved on and we ended up kissing and then the next i know I've spent the whole week with this other guy and slept with him. I know this guy very well. He's more like me and we just get on so much. But i do not understand why i've allowed myself for this to happen. I've even told the guy I'm no longer with my boyfriend :/. I've been so out of character recently and i know i need to break up with my boyfriend cause i can't live 2 lives. I just want to feel like me and do what i want. I do not want to get into another relationship after for a while, i just miss feeling young and enjoying my life. As the relationship got too serious for me and i don't think I'm ready to be making commitments to another when i no longer feel for them. But i do not know what to do, what to say to my boyfriend and i'm still in shock that I've done what I've done.... I just need a little advise.... :/
    The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Tell your 'boyfriend' about what happened and let him know how you've always felt you're different. Whilst I strongly disagree with your actions and feel for your boyfriend since he's done nothing wrong, you're an adult. You can do what you want and if you want to be free with the other guy then go for it!

    Make the choice you feel will make you the happiest at the end of the day since its your life and no-one can tell you how to live. However, I'd ask you to spare a thought for you boyfriend, if you do move on then at least give a bit of consideration for how you've treated him and hope no-one does the same for you. I sincerely hope he won't be mentally scarred/depressed and feels like he's alone or can't trust others because of this. Remember your actions do have consequences on others!

    Hopefully there are no lasting repercussions and you both have happy fulfilled lives!
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    I just don't have any sympathy. Sorry. Face the music… it's the best thing you can do.
 
 
 
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