Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Relationship at university with guy who lives close Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So I'll be going to a university where the guy I've been seeing on and off for 3 years lives, one of the reasons why we stopped seeing each other was because he moved.
    So I managed to get an offer at a university I really liked which happened to be 5 mins away from him. He's not going to uni but unfortunately he's working abroad for 6 months so we will have to go on a break.
    He thinks it won't work out bcos relationships don't work at uni , probably thinks I'll find someone at uni... We haven't been in a proper relationship but I don't understand why he won't think it will work??
    How do I convince him?
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    Tell him that he shouldn't be so cynical. Yes, some relationships don't work at uni but that doesn't mean that all relationships don't work out at uni. Relationships are what you decide to make of them. If you're interested in him and only him, just tell him that, express how you feel and put forward your argument of why and how you think you can both make this work.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    A: He's either beta or just not that into you
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    A: He's either beta or just not that into you
    he does really like me, he hasn't met anyone else that he likes, thats why he keeps coming back to me after all these years.

    lmao i don't understand his deal though, sometimes he thinks I'm too good for him and thinks ill cheat and find someone new -__-
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by raepatricks)
    Tell him that he shouldn't be so cynical. Yes, some relationships don't work at uni but that doesn't mean that all relationships don't work out at uni. Relationships are what you decide to make of them. If you're interested in him and only him, just tell him that, express how you feel and put forward your argument of why and how you think you can both make this work.
    okay, although sometimes he's such an ass to me and doesn't make an effort despite liking me a lot. its just who he is but idk how to change his ways. i see my future with him though, hopefully he will change
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    okay, although sometimes he's such an ass to me and doesn't make an effort despite liking me a lot. its just who he is but idk how to change his ways. i see my future with him though, hopefully he will change
    in what sense do you mean he's an ass to you? and if he doesn't make much effort you have to question whether it's really worth it. Never settle for less than you deserve in the hope things will get better because you'll only regret it years on from now when he's still the same and you hate that aspect about him.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lmao i don't understand his deal though, sometimes he thinks I'm too good for him and thinks ill cheat and find someone new -__-
    Ok, he's beta AF. Deep down you probably don't fully respect him either, and will get propositioned by guys who are much more alpha at uni and wind up ****ing them in all probability. He's trying to insulate himself from the heartache that he sees coming his way
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I mean, yeah, I could get anyone I wanted tbh, but the fact I've known him for these many years and never met anyone who i have a deep connection with makes me reserved towards any other guys, I'm not the one to fk around but it probably will happen at uni and I agree that he knows that would happen.
    I just don't want to end it
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Ok, he's beta AF. Deep down you probably don't fully respect him either, and will get propositioned by guys who are much more alpha at uni and wind up ****ing them in all probability. He's trying to insulate himself from the heartache that he sees coming his way
    Sorry it didn't embed your quote ^^^
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If the relationship is still on/off after three years I'd suggest it's time to more on.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by raepatricks)
    in what sense do you mean he's an ass to you? and if he doesn't make much effort you have to question whether it's really worth it. Never settle for less than you deserve in the hope things will get better because you'll only regret it years on from now when he's still the same and you hate that aspect about him.
    he doesn't show any affection and shouts at me, he jokes around about fking my friends and stuff, its not really nice. okokok
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by guilbert)
    If the relationship is still on/off after three years I'd suggest it's time to more on.
    but its been 3 years!!! i cant just move on pretending i didn't spend 3 years of my life liking this guy
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but its been 3 years!!! i cant just move on pretending i didn't spend 3 years of my life liking this guy
    I'm not saying you have to pretend you don't / didn't like him but make sure you're remembering the relationship as it actually is rather than how you wish it was.

    From what you say it seems pretty clear the relationship isn't working - how much longer are you going to give it? 5 years? 10? 20?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 5, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.