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Getting rejected by someone you were never with ? watch

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    Ok so basically i have been talking to someone for over 2 years and i felt like we had a ' connection' and when we were together in person i felt like we got on so well, and well now he's just said to me that he has a girlfriend and that we shouldn't talk anymore and so thats it like its all over but we were never together- never kissed or anything yet i feel like I've just split up with someone ... any advice on how to get over him :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok so basically i have been talking to someone for over 2 years and i felt like we had a ' connection' and when we were together in person i felt like we got on so well, and well now he's just said to me that he has a girlfriend and that we shouldn't talk anymore and so thats it like its all over but we were never together- never kissed or anything yet i feel like I've just split up with someone ... any advice on how to get over him :/
    I suppose you have been rejected in some sense, and that you were attached to him in some way so it hurts.. can't blame you for that

    Just block them everywhere and, as cliched as it sounds, it gets better over time, but there is no instantaneous fix.
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    I suppose you have been rejected in some sense, and that you were attached to him in some way so it hurts.. can't blame you for that

    Just block them everywhere and, as cliched as it sounds, it gets better over time, but there is no instantaneous fix.
    i don't want to block them though cause i still like them even though they are with someone... I'm happy for him yet i still want us to be mates like i just don't want to not communicate ever again it just annoys me like i wanna just carry on chatting to him but he must think i will try and get with him ...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Any advice on how to get over him :/
    • Engage emotionally | Let yourself grieve the loss of the partner/relationship. This is only natural vs. unnatural to repress it

    • Acceptance | If it's ended then it's likely because you are not 'supposed to be together' e.g. at least one of you isn't right for the other

    • Forgive and forget | Not always possible but almost always healthy to use the experience as an opportunity to show dignity/humanity

    • No contact rule | Depending on the nature of breakup, it's often a good idea to give them/yourself some space, for a while at least

    • Out of sight, out of mind | Depending on how emotionally vulnerable/insecure one is, it can be helpful to remove all traces of one's ex

    • Watch out for manipulation | Human nature being as it is, it's rare for young people to make a totally clean break. Don't get sucked into games

    • Avoid revenge mentality | Apart from anything else this is a total waste of energy and you risk losing the moral high ground if things get petty

    • Listen to your gut | Also listen to reason e.g. consider patterns of behaviour over time, rather than just salient events/your own insecurities

    • Staying friends | See above comments - few can hack it but in certain circumstances it can actually be healthy/helpful to stay on friendly terms

    • Be around people | Also busy yourself, and do reach out to dependable friends and family who can support you as you bounce back

    • Time heals all | What seems like the end of the world one week can be just a drop in the ocean the next. Life goes on

    • Avoid alcohol/substance abuse | This is unlikely to bring you either physical or psychological stability, which is just what you need!

    • Talk to other potentials | When you're ready (not if you're still full of angst/in a beta or 'victim complex' mindset)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i don't want to block them though cause i still like them even though they are with someone... I'm happy for him yet i still want us to be mates like i just don't want to not communicate ever again it just annoys me like i wanna just carry on chatting to him but he must think i will try and get with him ...
    There'll be other people in your life, as long as you don't give up. He's said that you can't ever talk again, so.. I can't see any coming back from that. He might change his mind - maybe not. It's most likely the girlfriend that has 'encouraged' him to do this rather than him making this decision himself.

    The worst thing you can do now is to do the opposite of what he says. You should block him and then, if he thinks its okay to talk to you again or things change, he'll find a way to get in touch (be it through mutual friends etc).

    I get how you're feeling though, and that it's frustrating but.. :dontknow:
 
 
 
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