Girlfriend doesn't like oral (giving)

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
Relatively new relationship.

Cutting straight to the point, my gf doesn't like going down on me, which sucks (pun intended) big time as for me, this being my first relationship, it was a new experience and an amazing one at that. She sat down with me one day and told me she didn't like it, saying how she felt sick after a while. I dug deeper into the problem and I found out it was really to do with a previous relationship where she was forced into doing things and it essentially brought back bad memories of that. Plus she says she didn't like the taste of a certain something.. I'm sure you can finish that sentence in your head.

Now at the time I made it very clear that it wasn't an issue and it was completely understandable, but now I've realized that I do want it in our relationship. I always give oral to her as I know she enjoys it, it's not exactly eating tasty strawberry shortcake but I still do it for the sake of her pleasure. Which makes me think why doesn't she do the same for me?

I want to talk to her about it, maybe reassure her that it can be done at her pace and how she likes and I wont interfere like her previous bf did. Whats everyone's opinions on this? Worth trying to persuade her or should I just accept that it wont be a part of our relationship?
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Stiff Little Fingers
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#2
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If she's got a bit of a block on it due to poor experiences of previous relationships it'd be good for her to deal with those experiences and move past them, at her pace.

Definitely don't force it, and drop it if she doesn't want to discuss it, but I'd recommend talking with her and offering a sympathetic ear if she wants to get those experiences off her chest.
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omfgalib
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#3
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Nobody really likes going down on someone!
It's just gross to have something like that in your mouth, and people only willingly do it if they love the other person very much, and want to make them happy.
I think a large hairy sweaty long thing choking you is worse than a slimy ham sandwich if you get me, and there's always that fear of domination and stuff.
I think the best thing is to just talk, because if you don't communicate, you can't let anything out.
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MrsSheldonCooper
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(Original post by omfgalib)
Nobody really likes going down on someone!
It's just gross to have something like that in your mouth, and people only willingly do it if they love the other person very much, and want to make them happy.
I think a large hairy sweaty long thing choking you is worse than a slimy ham sandwich if you get me, and there's always that fear of domination and stuff.
I think the best thing is to just talk, because if you don't communicate, you can't let anything out.
Can't unsee that one.


Anyway OP maybe go slow with her until she's comfy about it?
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InvestmentBankin
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#5
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(Original post by omfgalib)
Nobody really likes going down on someone!
.
Oh I know people who love it.

OP - you have to be a winner in order to be sufficiently attractive for that, You have to start winning, winning big.
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username1726117
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#6
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Relationship's are all about compromises, but sexual compromises can be a little tricky.

It may be worth talking to her about this again and see if you can, with time, gradually make her more comfortable with the act. It will take time, especially given her previous experience, but it can be done.

Definitely talk about this. If it's important to you, it's only going to add strain on the relationship later on down the road.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Stiff Little Fingers)
If she's got a bit of a block on it due to poor experiences of previous relationships it'd be good for her to deal with those experiences and move past them, at her pace.

Definitely don't force it, and drop it if she doesn't want to discuss it, but I'd recommend talking with her and offering a sympathetic ear if she wants to get those experiences off her chest.
Yeah we did have a long conversation about it and what he did, some of the things he did I'd expect from an extreme hardcore porn movie... He was a total ****. I wasnt planning on forcing it, just talking to her about it and seeing if she'd be up for it on her terms. She's the same with me and going down on her, I can stop whenever and I dont have to do it if I dont want to. Like you say if I was to talk to her I'd offer her a sympathetic ear and be willing to hear out any details which worry her, no matter what they are. Thanks!

(Original post by omfgalib)
Nobody really likes going down on someone!
It's just gross to have something like that in your mouth, and people only willingly do it if they love the other person very much, and want to make them happy.
I think a large hairy sweaty long thing choking you is worse than a slimy ham sandwich if you get me, and there's always that fear of domination and stuff.
I think the best thing is to just talk, because if you don't communicate, you can't let anything out.
Yeah I agree, I dont exactly enjoy going down on her. She has done before, a couple of times before she stopped. I believe she does have strong feelings for me so I guess she could be willing to do it? Yeah I understand, I reassured her that none of the forced, dominating type stuff would come into play if she was to. I'll talk to her, thanks!
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doodle_333
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I think you could talk to her but you'd have to be really careful. I mean as far as taste goes, you don't have to finish in her mouth and up til that point it's not a huge issue... I mean you've got someone's genitals in your mouth so it's never going to be - as you put it - like eating strawberry shortcake, but having a mouthful of *** is a different level of gross if you can't handle the taste. If a big part of the issue is that she's been sexually assaulted and that has involved oral you're going to have to be really patient. It may well be that if she has enough time and builds enough trust with you that she can move on from whatever her current emotional reaction is to doing oral... it might not and you should reassure her that that would be okay as well... if she feels under any pressure that is only going to send her straight backwards.

I don't think there's anything wrong with reassuring her that you're not going to be grabbing her head or thrusting in her mouth or anything and there's nothing wrong with telling her that she doesn't have to swallow a mouthful of ***... but you need to approach it very carefully and make it clear that you don't want to rush her or force her to do anything she isn't 100% okay with and you know it will take time. If you push her even a little bit you're only going to make her more anxious. Also, if she did it a couple of times before stopping that's probably a sign that it took some trust even to risk saying she didn't want to so say you're glad she could trust you enough to talk about it because now you can make sure she is okay together.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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(Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
Can't unsee that one.


Anyway OP maybe go slow with her until she's comfy about it?
Yeah I might, we've more or less covered everything in our relationship and I'd still say its quite a new relationship. Maybe going slow might be the best plan. thanks!

(Original post by InvestmentBankin)

OP - you have to be a winner in order to be sufficiently attractive for that, You have to start winning, winning big.
I kinda get you, I'll try winning in that case! Thanks man.



Yeah I think talking about it will be the best option, I'll make it clear that it doesn't have to be a regular occurrence and she can build her confidence with it all. Thanks! :P
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Gora The Xplorer
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http://www.crowncork.com/sites/defau...or_cream_2.jpg
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
(Original post by doodle_333)
I think you could talk to her but you'd have to be really careful. I mean as far as taste goes, you don't have to finish in her mouth and up til that point it's not a huge issue... I mean you've got someone's genitals in your mouth so it's never going to be - as you put it - like eating strawberry shortcake, but having a mouthful of *** is a different level of gross if you can't handle the taste. If a big part of the issue is that she's been sexually assaulted and that has involved oral you're going to have to be really patient. It may well be that if she has enough time and builds enough trust with you that she can move on from whatever her current emotional reaction is to doing oral... it might not and you should reassure her that that would be okay as well... if she feels under any pressure that is only going to send her straight backwards.

I don't think there's anything wrong with reassuring her that you're not going to be grabbing her head or thrusting in her mouth or anything and there's nothing wrong with telling her that she doesn't have to swallow a mouthful of ***... but you need to approach it very carefully and make it clear that you don't want to rush her or force her to do anything she isn't 100% okay with and you know it will take time. If you push her even a little bit you're only going to make her more anxious. Also, if she did it a couple of times before stopping that's probably a sign that it took some trust even to risk saying she didn't want to so say you're glad she could trust you enough to talk about it because now you can make sure she is okay together.
Yeah I reassured her that she didnt have to keep going until I finished, as a guy the smell alone makes me want to dry heave so I can sympathize there. Like you say I'll be very sensitive about the whole subject and constantly reassure her that nothing will happen that she's not comfortable with. Thanks!
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Gora The Xplorer
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I reassured her that she didnt have to keep going until I finished, as a guy the smell alone makes me want to dry heave so I can sympathize there. Like you say I'll be very sensitive about the whole subject and constantly reassure her that nothing will happen that she's not comfortable with. Thanks!
the hell are you eating? O.o
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lol123456789
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#13
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You should respect that decision and give her time instead of being "pushy"


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loveleest
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You shouldn't force her. It will just make her to want to do it even less, after a while she might feel comfortable.
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SMEGGGY
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#15
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Relatively new relationship.

Cutting straight to the point, my gf doesn't like going down on me, which sucks (pun intended) big time as for me, this being my first relationship, it was a new experience and an amazing one at that. She sat down with me one day and told me she didn't like it, saying how she felt sick after a while. I dug deeper into the problem and I found out it was really to do with a previous relationship where she was forced into doing things and it essentially brought back bad memories of that. Plus she says she didn't like the taste of a certain something.. I'm sure you can finish that sentence in your head.

Now at the time I made it very clear that it wasn't an issue and it was completely understandable, but now I've realized that I do want it in our relationship. I always give oral to her as I know she enjoys it, it's not exactly eating tasty strawberry shortcake but I still do it for the sake of her pleasure. Which makes me think why doesn't she do the same for me?

I want to talk to her about it, maybe reassure her that it can be done at her pace and how she likes and I wont interfere like her previous bf did. Whats everyone's opinions on this? Worth trying to persuade her or should I just accept that it wont be a part of our relationship?

Ask her politely (foreplay) to kiss it, lick it, then as she's reassured you'll not force her, she might suck on it like a baby on a teat eventually.


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Zarek
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#16
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I think blowjobs are a privilege rather than a right, also since the main evert is pretty good for a guy. Ease up and you never know she might become a bit more willing.
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Gora The Xplorer
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#17
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(Original post by Zarek)
I think blowjobs are a privilege rather than a right, also since the main evert is pretty good for a guy. Ease up and you never know she might become a bit more willing.
I think being allowed to sleep in my bed is a privilege not a right*

Fooking dump her mang
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Magnus Taylor
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
Relatively new relationship.

Cutting straight to the point, my gf doesn't like going down on me, which sucks (pun intended) big time as for me, this being my first relationship, it was a new experience and an amazing one at that. She sat down with me one day and told me she didn't like it, saying how she felt sick after a while. I dug deeper into the problem and I found out it was really to do with a previous relationship where she was forced into doing things and it essentially brought back bad memories of that. Plus she says she didn't like the taste of a certain something.. I'm sure you can finish that sentence in your head.

Now at the time I made it very clear that it wasn't an issue and it was completely understandable, but now I've realized that I do want it in our relationship. I always give oral to her as I know she enjoys it, it's not exactly eating tasty strawberry shortcake but I still do it for the sake of her pleasure. Which makes me think why doesn't she do the same for me?

I want to talk to her about it, maybe reassure her that it can be done at her pace and how she likes and I wont interfere like her previous bf did. Whats everyone's opinions on this? Worth trying to persuade her or should I just accept that it wont be a part of our relationship?
Sex> Oral
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Iknowbest
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#19
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I have had girls who loved to do it.. and I have had girls who don't.. pot luck I guess! Unlucky
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fatima1998
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#20
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this is a great example where SEX is the main part of maintaining a relationship :facepalm:
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