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My failed relationships and why they ended Watch

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    This has been on my mind for a while now, and I feel as though I need some advice on how best to solve the problem. This post will be quite long and will feature a large portion of information from another post I wrote a while ago. Names of the people involved in these situations have been change for obvious reasons, and to protect their identities from becoming known.

    Situation 1: Relationship with 'Amy'
    I first met my ex in around August of last year, and we immediately clicked as soon as we met. We started talking and within just a couple of weeks of speaking we were technically "together". Around this time, I was still talking to other girls in a flirty manner, but nothing too serious. I came clean only a few days after we were officially together, and she flipped out. After a few days of letting her cool off, she agreed that we could work things out as long as i promised never to flirt with anyone else again whilst we were together, which i kept to this day.

    Everything was fine for a couple of months until around early November of last year, when i noticed that she was acting off with me in conversations and not talking as much. It was also around this time that she started to mention this guy from her college a lot more, and talking about him frequently. I first thought nothing of it, but then she started to spend less time with me and more time at college with this new guy and she would send me pictures of her and this guy. I eventually got sick of it, and i confronted her about why she was spending so much time with this guy, and she informed me that she'd had a crush on this guy for several weeks now. I wanted to flip out, but i didn't and i was able to remain calm. She told me that she wasn't happy in the relationship anymore and whenever we argued she found solace in the new guy, and after this conversation we broke up. She also told me that she never loved me because she "doesn't understand what love is" (she later told me that this was a "heat of the moment" thing and she didn't mean it).

    We didn't speak for a few days, until she came back telling me that she still wanted to be with me, but she couldn't because it would hurt too much to come back to me. She then admitted that she still loved me, and after a long conversation we agreed to try and make things work again. Everything was going fine for a few days until i mentioned that my mother wouldn't approve of us trying to make things work again, which was obviously a not very smart things to say, and things went back to arguing and then ignoring eachother.

    After a while the amount that we talked got less and less until we stopped talking altogether. I messaged her again in April of this year, telling her that I was over all that had happened between us and that I wanted to be friends. She replied saying that she didn't want to even be friends, and that she never wanted to speak to me again. We haven't had any contact since that conversation.

    Situation 2: Relationship with 'Hannah'
    So my relationship with this individual started around January of this year, which was a couple of months after I'd first met her. We had a lot of things in common and we quickly bonded, becoming good friends. It was around January that I realised that I liked her, but due to the past I was too afraid to tell her. I eventually pipped up and told her, and this was where I discovered that she liked me back. We quickly developed a relationship not long after this, and to be honest it was one of the best relationships that I've had.

    Then around mid February was when the first real issue arose. She had been getting close to a male friend in her class at college, and at first I tried my best to ignore it and say that they were simply good friends. However, the past cropped up on me again and with it being only a few months after what had happened in my prior relationship I began to mention it more and more. One day at college she began crying over something (I can't remember what haha) and I wasn't able to comfort her. However, the male friend was there and he was able to comfort her instead. Usually I wouldn't even pay this a second thought, but with the past situation and it's outcome still running around in my head I got angry at her. This resulted in a series of arguments that led to me telling her that I wasn't able to fully trust her. Things were not okay at all after that, as she now knew that I couldn't trust her with anything to do with male friends. But aslas, we were able to forget about the situation and carry on as normal.

    Then in around mid-March another situation occurred which saw the end of this relationship. She had gone to a small get-together with some of her friends, which include a guy who had a massive crush on her. I wasn't able to attend the meeting due to work, but I kept in constant contact with her throughout the night. During the night, she and her friends played a game of 'spin the bottle' in which you spin a bottle around in a circle and you have to kiss whoever the bottle points to. She ended up kissing the guy who liked her, and later on that night he kissed her again. She only stopped him after he kissed her, but not before the second kiss. I found out about it the day after, and at first I kept my cool but I carried on thinking about it and it played on my mind. I confronted her about it, and as you can guess we broke up after she stated that my jealous nature was affecting the relationship (definitively not because she cheated, *****.)

    We stayed in contact after the break up, and we were briefly able to be friends again as we had done before the relationship started. However, I wasn't able to let go of the fact that I had been wronged and I would always mention the break up which angered her. This got us into a recurring cycle of arguing, then making up and then falling out again which lastest for several weeks. She eventually called an end to it, saying that there was no point being friends because I wanted it to be more than just friends and she didn't, at which point I agreed and we stopped talking.
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    "Amy":

    From personal experience and from what I've witnessed in other people's relationships, people who are often jealous/insecure with their partners interacts with the opposite sex are usually the ones who are least trustworthy. As is the case here, by the looks of things.

    At the end of the day, Amy comes across as a young immature girl who doesn't know what she wanted when it came to a relationship. She didn't respect your relationship enough not to get involved with this guy (and, chances are, more happened behind-the-scenes than you would like to think), and she didn't come clean immediately. She thought the grass was greener, it wasn't, and she paid the ultimate price (IE. You).

    I'm not a fan of the whole idea of being friends with an ex, but at least you tried to establish good terms. She wasn't interested. Leave her in the dust and don't look back, my friend.

    "Hannah":

    You were wrong to allow your past to influence your behaviors and handling of the situations involving her and another guy, but ultimately I think she crossed boundaries by kissing a guy you both knew was interested in her. I definitely recommend any future relationship to be considered a clean slate, and not allow the past to define the future.



    Pretty much you've picked the wrong girls, dude.
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    "Amy":

    From personal experience and from what I've witnessed in other people's relationships, people who are often jealous/insecure with their partners interacts with the opposite sex are usually the ones who are least trustworthy. As is the case here, by the looks of things.

    At the end of the day, Amy comes across as a young immature girl who doesn't know what she wanted when it came to a relationship. She didn't respect your relationship enough not to get involved with this guy (and, chances are, more happened behind-the-scenes than you would like to think), and she didn't come clean immediately. She thought the grass was greener, it wasn't, and she paid the ultimate price (IE. You).

    I'm not a fan of the whole idea of being friends with an ex, but at least you tried to establish good terms. She wasn't interested. Leave her in the dust and don't look back, my friend.

    "Hannah":

    You were wrong to allow your past to influence your behaviors and handling of the situations involving her and another guy, but ultimately I think she crossed boundaries by kissing a guy you both knew was interested in her. I definitely recommend any future relationship to be considered a clean slate, and not allow the past to define the future.



    Pretty much you've picked the wrong girls, dude.
    Thank you so much for replying! You seem to know what you're talking about with this stuff, and I agree with you when you say that 'Amy' was way too immature for a relationship. And as for 'Hannah' she basically cheated and that's something that I can never forgive of someone. I think for the future I need to know what I want first and to take things very slowly.
 
 
 
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