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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hi,

    I know this is an awfully long one but Is appreciate anyone who took the time to read it and answer

    So a couple of days ago I finally asked out this guy I've had a crush on for a month. He said yes and because he was on a shift at the pub we didn't really have time to discuss where/when so we agreed to fb later..

    A day later I asked him what days he was free and then he said He was was sorry but he was kind of speaking to this girl he knew from college and he had nothing against going on a date with me but he would feel kinda bad on this girl...I replied with its OK obviously it's up to you if you wanna come but I don't want to make you do anything that might make you feel bad.

    I suggested he tell her first to see how she'd feel about it, he replied that he wouldn't knew what to say to her and then that he thought me and him were completely different people and that he wasn't sure if we'd get on. Which confuses me as he said he had nothing against going out with me?

    I feel like he's using this other girl as an excuse to just say he's not interested but I just wish he could've been honest and maybe have told me no straight away when I asked him bc when he said yes it got my hopes up and I was buzzing the entire day after and then when he messages me to say he's not interested he can't even tell me directly.

    I'm feeling pretty bad rn which is natural I know, but I have quite low self esteem as it is and since I'm quite shy I felt quite proud of myself to have asked him out in person (even tho ai was a bit drunk) rather than message him on Facebook. I just feel taken aback that he didn't have the guts to tell me to my face he didn't like me he had to do it over a message :/

    Do you guys think I'm overreacting? Or was he in the wrong in the way he approached turning me down? And what are the best ways to handle rejection? :'D

    Thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I know this is an awfully long one but Is appreciate anyone who took the time to read it and answer

    So a couple of days ago I finally asked out this guy I've had a crush on for a month. He said yes and because he was on a shift at the pub we didn't really have time to discuss where/when so we agreed to fb later..

    A day later I asked him what days he was free and then he said He was was sorry but he was kind of speaking to this girl he knew from college and he had nothing against going on a date with me but he would feel kinda bad on this girl...I replied with its OK obviously it's up to you if you wanna come but I don't want to make you do anything that might make you feel bad.

    I suggested he tell her first to see how she'd feel about it, he replied that he wouldn't knew what to say to her and then that he thought me and him were completely different people and that he wasn't sure if we'd get on. Which confuses me as he said he had nothing against going out with me?

    I feel like he's using this other girl as an excuse to just say he's not interested but I just wish he could've been honest and maybe have told me no straight away when I asked him bc when he said yes it got my hopes up and I was buzzing the entire day after and then when he messages me to say he's not interested he can't even tell me directly.

    I'm feeling pretty bad rn which is natural I know, but I have quite low self esteem as it is and since I'm quite shy I felt quite proud of myself to have asked him out in person (even tho ai was a bit drunk) rather than message him on Facebook. I just feel taken aback that he didn't have the guts to tell me to my face he didn't like me he had to do it over a message :/

    Do you guys think I'm overreacting? Or was he in the wrong in the way he approached turning me down? And what are the best ways to handle rejection? :'D

    Thanks
    Yes he is leading you on and yes he doesn't want to go on a date with you. Having a crush on someone who does not reciprocate is horrible - been there many times

    Take it as a learning episode. You asked a guy out and it didn't work out. At least you tried. Move on - There are plenty of other chaps around*
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    Hunny, if you feel like he's lead you on then forget him! I don't know you but I know you must be a really good girl honey boo boo. GUYS ARE NOT WORTH IT, THEY WILL JUST TRAMPLE ALL OVER YOU LIKE YOU'RE NOTHING WHEN YOU DESERVE BETTER! GET YOUR SEXY ASS UP AND GET OUT AND HAVE SOME FUN BABY GIRLLLL. BUT NO SERIOUSLY GO UPTO HIM AND ASK HIM IF HES INTERESTED OR NOT AND IF HE IS STILL CONFUSING A KICK IN THE BALLS WILL DO.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I know this is an awfully long one but Is appreciate anyone who took the time to read it and answer

    So a couple of days ago I finally asked out this guy I've had a crush on for a month. He said yes and because he was on a shift at the pub we didn't really have time to discuss where/when so we agreed to fb later..

    A day later I asked him what days he was free and then he said He was was sorry but he was kind of speaking to this girl he knew from college and he had nothing against going on a date with me but he would feel kinda bad on this girl...I replied with its OK obviously it's up to you if you wanna come but I don't want to make you do anything that might make you feel bad.

    I suggested he tell her first to see how she'd feel about it, he replied that he wouldn't knew what to say to her and then that he thought me and him were completely different people and that he wasn't sure if we'd get on. Which confuses me as he said he had nothing against going out with me?

    I feel like he's using this other girl as an excuse to just say he's not interested but I just wish he could've been honest and maybe have told me no straight away when I asked him bc when he said yes it got my hopes up and I was buzzing the entire day after and then when he messages me to say he's not interested he can't even tell me directly.

    I'm feeling pretty bad rn which is natural I know, but I have quite low self esteem as it is and since I'm quite shy I felt quite proud of myself to have asked him out in person (even tho ai was a bit drunk) rather than message him on Facebook. I just feel taken aback that he didn't have the guts to tell me to my face he didn't like me he had to do it over a message :/

    Do you guys think I'm overreacting? Or was he in the wrong in the way he approached turning me down? And what are the best ways to handle rejection? :'D

    Thanks
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by bazza12345345)
    Hunny, if you feel like he's lead you on then forget him! I don't know you but I know you must be a really good girl honey boo boo. GUYS ARE NOT WORTH IT, THEY WILL JUST TRAMPLE ALL OVER YOU LIKE YOU'RE NOTHING WHEN YOU DESERVE BETTER! GET YOUR SEXY ASS UP AND GET OUT AND HAVE SOME FUN BABY GIRLLLL. BUT NO SERIOUSLY GO UPTO HIM AND ASK HIM IF HES INTERESTED OR NOT AND IF HE IS STILL CONFUSING A KICK IN THE BALLS WILL DO.
    I think he's made pretty clear that he's not interested tbh :'D but thanks for your reply, it made me smile and I needed that <3 x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    he said he had nothing against going out with me?
    Hopefully now you can see that this sort of response is a major red flag

    I felt quite proud of myself to have asked him out in person (even tho ai was a bit drunk)
    So you should, that took a lot of bottle *if you'll pardon the pun* :mmm:

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Generally, if a guy's interested he'll at the very least hint/flirt, if not outright ask you out, however

    was he in the wrong in the way he approached turning me down?
    A little bit, but it's also an opportunity for your to empathise with his position too (young people aren't always 100% sure what's up)

    what are the best ways to handle rejection?
    Tell yourself that ultimately that's life. We never get anywhere without the odd knock-back, and we can't please everyone, all the time :console:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I know this is an awfully long one but Is appreciate anyone who took the time to read it and answer

    So a couple of days ago I finally asked out this guy I've had a crush on for a month. He said yes and because he was on a shift at the pub we didn't really have time to discuss where/when so we agreed to fb later..

    A day later I asked him what days he was free and then he said He was was sorry but he was kind of speaking to this girl he knew from college and he had nothing against going on a date with me but he would feel kinda bad on this girl...I replied with its OK obviously it's up to you if you wanna come but I don't want to make you do anything that might make you feel bad.

    I suggested he tell her first to see how she'd feel about it, he replied that he wouldn't knew what to say to her and then that he thought me and him were completely different people and that he wasn't sure if we'd get on. Which confuses me as he said he had nothing against going out with me?

    I feel like he's using this other girl as an excuse to just say he's not interested but I just wish he could've been honest and maybe have told me no straight away when I asked him bc when he said yes it got my hopes up and I was buzzing the entire day after and then when he messages me to say he's not interested he can't even tell me directly.

    I'm feeling pretty bad rn which is natural I know, but I have quite low self esteem as it is and since I'm quite shy I felt quite proud of myself to have asked him out in person (even tho ai was a bit drunk) rather than message him on Facebook. I just feel taken aback that he didn't have the guts to tell me to my face he didn't like me he had to do it over a message :/

    Do you guys think I'm overreacting? Or was he in the wrong in the way he approached turning me down? And what are the best ways to handle rejection? :'D

    Thanks
    He's not led you on but was being polite. He's spared your feelings by not saying "NO" to your face, is that such a terrible evil thing?!

    May not even be another girl, he's letting you down by hinting, and using the girl and her reaction. Move on, leave him alone.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
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