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    Hello,

    I was studying aerospace technology at university and I passed my first first year but then failed my second year and then had to retake the modules that i failed second year. I then failed again not passing a single module. It is my own fault really because i was not attending lectures and because i was retaking i didnt really know anyone in my seminars so I didnt have any friends on my course and I felt like i didnt really learn anything, Most of the time i was just too hungover to go in or getting high. Also I wasnt enjoying the course at all so hardly put any effort in. I am now back home but I have still not told my parents that i have failed. They think that i am graduating because i didnt tell them that i failed in second year either and whenever they ask i have just been saying that i am waiting for my results. I do not know how to tell them that i have failed because my brother and sister have both been to uni and graduating. My brother is now doing pHD and my sister has got a sick job earning 33k and then theres me whos just failed. This makes it even more difficult to tell them. My family is muslim aswell so my parents are super strict. I dont know what to do anymore I cant keep lying to them anymore.

    Please can someone give me some advice? thank you any replies would be appreciated.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello,

    I was studying aerospace technology at university and I passed my first first year but then failed my second year and then had to retake the modules that i failed second year. I then failed again not passing a single module. It is my own fault really because i was not attending lectures and because i was retaking i didnt really know anyone in my seminars so I didnt have any friends on my course and I felt like i didnt really learn anything, Most of the time i was just too hungover to go in or getting high. Also I wasnt enjoying the course at all so hardly put any effort in. I am now back home but I have still not told my parents that i have failed. They think that i am graduating because i didnt tell them that i failed in second year either and whenever they ask i have just been saying that i am waiting for my results. I do not know how to tell them that i have failed because my brother and sister have both been to uni and graduating. My brother is now doing pHD and my sister has got a sick job earning 33k and then theres me whos just failed. This makes it even more difficult to tell them. My family is muslim aswell so my parents are super strict. I dont know what to do anymore I cant keep lying to them anymore.

    Please can someone give me some advice? thank you any replies would be appreciated.
    I get what you mean with Muslim parents. The fact is that they will find out from the university it's just up to you to tell them sooner rather than later because it will be much worse if you leave them to find out later from the university.
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    I was in your position, except it was the 1st year mines started. I didn't complete the 1st year as I didn't feel motivated and didn't like the course at that point.

    Like you, I stopped attending, going to the library or wandering around town until it was time I was expected to go home. Then I started heading home earlier and got asked questions where I'd been all day and eventually my mum and sister picked up on this and I had to tell them.

    I don't know where you're situated and how this will affect you financially but you have to tell your family about this. This is the first step and trust me, I know how difficult that could be but you have to tell them eventually. Secondly, you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself. Many people feel in the same position as you and are not interested in their course.

    Just because you failed doesn't mean you're not capable. It's probably a strong indication that either the course of uni isn't for you at the moment and maybe doing something else like even working or college is a better route. *
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello,

    I was studying aerospace technology at university and I passed my first first year but then failed my second year and then had to retake the modules that i failed second year. I then failed again not passing a single module. It is my own fault really because i was not attending lectures and because i was retaking i didnt really know anyone in my seminars so I didnt have any friends on my course and I felt like i didnt really learn anything, Most of the time i was just too hungover to go in or getting high. Also I wasnt enjoying the course at all so hardly put any effort in. I am now back home but I have still not told my parents that i have failed. They think that i am graduating because i didnt tell them that i failed in second year either and whenever they ask i have just been saying that i am waiting for my results. I do not know how to tell them that i have failed because my brother and sister have both been to uni and graduating. My brother is now doing pHD and my sister has got a sick job earning 33k and then theres me whos just failed. This makes it even more difficult to tell them. My family is muslim aswell so my parents are super strict. I dont know what to do anymore I cant keep lying to them anymore.

    Please can someone give me some advice? thank you any replies would be appreciated.
    Now is the time to put his right before you dig yourself a deeper hole (bold bit).They are not going to be happy but the hole will only get deeper. The key is to be proactive about the situation and prove to them you mean business.

    Next thing I will say is that under the circumstances it is unlikely you will be allowed back to university, but even if you were you might be well advised not to go for the following reasons: you do not enjoy the course ongoing back will put you in the same position socially which sounds like it maybe an issue. To this extent (and these are rhetorical questions) are you using alcholol/drugs as a crutch? How is your mental health after a year of no fiends? (The later is a place I have been and its horrible). If either of these are an issue this needs to be the second thing you deal with after talking to your parents and the best place to start will be a trip to the GP.

    Deciding not to go back:
    Third question you need to ask is whats next. The road definitely has not ended for you- it may just take you longer to get your dream job and your going to have to work up from the bottom. I would recommend if your finances allow taking a trip abroad with one of the volunteering companies. They look great on your CV and will give you and your parents a month or so apart after the fall out.

    If not then its time to start job hunting and this it starts at the job centre. Do not be afraid of the job centre they are their to help with refining you CV and teaching yourself how to sell yourself and can act as your referees I believe (may not be right). Granted its probably not skilled jobs or a grand apprenticeship your going to get there but they will help you get a job and this has to be your priority currently as if you drop out of uni you will have just a massive three year gap on your CV and employers do not like this.

    Other than the Job Centre- perhaps search the national apprenticeship data base (there is loads one can apply for although not sure if age limit- not great pay but a start on improving your record.) https://www.findapprenticeship.servi...ticeshipsearch

    And if you would consider primary or secondary teaching (depending on your A levels) you could apply for Teach First.
    https://graduates.teachfirst.org.uk/...t-requirements

    Eventually, once you have a job and an employer behind you whose reference is going to tell everyone how reliable you are, then maybe look to apply for school leavers programs most major companies will have one. You can do this immediately but may have more difficulty as most will have already closed by now. And some of these will allow you to obtain a degree or degree level qualification in the process.

    Alongside Job Hunting you should visit the local citizens advice bureau to discuss any social security you may be able to claim. They should be able to tell you.

    Going back to uni:

    If your uni lets you could in theory go back but this will have big financial ramifications. Your parents will have to pay your tuition fees for your third attempt at your second year as you have used your grace year on Student Finance. Secondly you have to be sure the course is right.

    Your second option (again equally unlikely to be possible if you have failed twice) is to transfer to a uni nearer home.and to stay at home where your parents can help you stay on the straight and narrow.

    Your Third option if you know which course you would prefer is to reapply to uni through UCAS. Again though this has very significant financial ramifications as you parents would have to cover the first two years tuition fee.

    Your Fourth Option is to combine the Open University with a job which maybe your best bet as this way you can try many of the introductory modules across man subjects and see what you like and build on it. And even if the combination thats really random you will graduate with the BSc/BA Open. Also this option is significantly more financially viable if you successfully get yourself a job at the same time. It will take longer but is definitely more accessible.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello,

    I was studying aerospace technology at university and I passed my first first year but then failed my second year and then had to retake the modules that i failed second year. I then failed again not passing a single module. It is my own fault really because i was not attending lectures and because i was retaking i didnt really know anyone in my seminars so I didnt have any friends on my course and I felt like i didnt really learn anything, Most of the time i was just too hungover to go in or getting high. Also I wasnt enjoying the course at all so hardly put any effort in. I am now back home but I have still not told my parents that i have failed. They think that i am graduating because i didnt tell them that i failed in second year either and whenever they ask i have just been saying that i am waiting for my results. I do not know how to tell them that i have failed because my brother and sister have both been to uni and graduating. My brother is now doing pHD and my sister has got a sick job earning 33k and then theres me whos just failed. This makes it even more difficult to tell them. My family is muslim aswell so my parents are super strict. I dont know what to do anymore I cant keep lying to them anymore.

    Please can someone give me some advice? thank you any replies would be appreciated.


    Obviously need to tell them, but I think they would be more worried about u getting high and hungover


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