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Intimate in a long distance relationship? Watch

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    #1

    Just needed some advice really,


    been a relationship with my gf for nearly 6 months now. Started off as in the same city till 2 months ago when I moved home after graduation. Its a bit hard to see each other as much as we used to do so we havent see each other for a month and most probably wont be able to meet up till Aug due to circumstances.

    Although we have slept together and I was her first. and believe me when were together we have the most amazing time and satisfy each other a lot. However we did have worries as to how we would do a LDR ( although i had done one previously for 2.5 years)*

    Now obv being in a LDR, intimacy is important and we have gone down the route of sexting which she is ok with on whatsapp, but when it comes down to talking and doing it on the phone she said shes awkward and cant do it. Obv i am sympathetic and can give it time but is it unreasonable on my part to expect it in the first place? I have been in a LDR before and I think it is very important for a couple to be intimate over the phone as that is the ONLY option till you actually meet and that way you can still connect and feel like a couple.

    Now people will comment and say 'oh you cant force her and etc and its not important if you dont have phone sex' *but take the situation for example if the*girl says shes got a needy personality in terms of she wants constant reassurance that the bf loves her and she is always his priority. If we think about it if that is something that is expected from a guy as he is supposed to make his girl feel special ( even though he may not be good that stuff) so why cant a girl do something to make her guy feel good ( even if shes not good) and giving up without trying?

    Do believe me i would want phone sex as a last resort as well but I think when you have no other options why give up the chance to be intimate with your other half in any way possible. i do love her thats why i do desperately with her.

    Would be good to hear thoughts ( and less personal attacks thanks)*
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    Never had phone sex, to me it seems awkward.

    At the end of the day, if she doesn't like doing it you can't force the issue. Maybe in time she'll get more comfortable, but for now you can only be patient and see what happens.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just needed some advice really,


    been a relationship with my gf for nearly 6 months now. Started off as in the same city till 2 months ago when I moved home after graduation. Its a bit hard to see each other as much as we used to do so we havent see each other for a month and most probably wont be able to meet up till Aug due to circumstances.

    Although we have slept together and I was her first. and believe me when were together we have the most amazing time and satisfy each other a lot. However we did have worries as to how we would do a LDR ( although i had done one previously for 2.5 years)*

    Now obv being in a LDR, intimacy is important and we have gone down the route of sexting which she is ok with on whatsapp, but when it comes down to talking and doing it on the phone she said shes awkward and cant do it. Obv i am sympathetic and can give it time but is it unreasonable on my part to expect it in the first place? I have been in a LDR before and I think it is very important for a couple to be intimate over the phone as that is the ONLY option till you actually meet and that way you can still connect and feel like a couple.

    Now people will comment and say 'oh you cant force her and etc and its not important if you dont have phone sex' *but take the situation for example if the*girl says shes got a needy personality in terms of she wants constant reassurance that the bf loves her and she is always his priority. If we think about it if that is something that is expected from a guy as he is supposed to make his girl feel special ( even though he may not be good that stuff) so why cant a girl do something to make her guy feel good ( even if shes not good) and giving up without trying?

    Do believe me i would want phone sex as a last resort as well but I think when you have no other options why give up the chance to be intimate with your other half in any way possible. i do love her thats why i do desperately with her.

    Would be good to hear thoughts ( and less personal attacks thanks)*
    Yes.

    You don't have a right to anything; being in a relationship is a privelage. If she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't want to do it. You have to either respect that, or let her go.

    And guess what? It's not important. People are far further away than you and she, and they cope. I'm in a long-distance relationship, and have been for over two years - she she doesn't like the idea of phone-sex (or sexting either, for that matter), though she's said she'll try to work up the courage to give it a shot some time. We get to see one another anywhere between once a week and once a month, depending on money and her work timetable, and we just do our best to make it count.

    Basically, don't make a thing about it. Probably it doesn't do anything for her, in which case what's the point in doing it? You might as well polish the pipes on your own.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just needed some advice really,


    been a relationship with my gf for nearly 6 months now. Started off as in the same city till 2 months ago when I moved home after graduation. Its a bit hard to see each other as much as we used to do so we havent see each other for a month and most probably wont be able to meet up till Aug due to circumstances.

    Although we have slept together and I was her first. and believe me when were together we have the most amazing time and satisfy each other a lot. However we did have worries as to how we would do a LDR ( although i had done one previously for 2.5 years)*

    Now obv being in a LDR, intimacy is important and we have gone down the route of sexting which she is ok with on whatsapp, but when it comes down to talking and doing it on the phone she said shes awkward and cant do it. Obv i am sympathetic and can give it time but is it unreasonable on my part to expect it in the first place? I have been in a LDR before and I think it is very important for a couple to be intimate over the phone as that is the ONLY option till you actually meet and that way you can still connect and feel like a couple.

    Now people will comment and say 'oh you cant force her and etc and its not important if you dont have phone sex' *but take the situation for example if the*girl says shes got a needy personality in terms of she wants constant reassurance that the bf loves her and she is always his priority. If we think about it if that is something that is expected from a guy as he is supposed to make his girl feel special ( even though he may not be good that stuff) so why cant a girl do something to make her guy feel good ( even if shes not good) and giving up without trying?

    Do believe me i would want phone sex as a last resort as well but I think when you have no other options why give up the chance to be intimate with your other half in any way possible. i do love her thats why i do desperately with her.

    Would be good to hear thoughts ( and less personal attacks thanks)*
    I think that is really nice and that you love her .
    I feel that maybe you should give it time or talk to her about this , I have had a long distance relationship and we have both had like sexting conversations at start it was weird and awkward , then we talked about it and everything that was in our minds was put on the table and told each other how we were feeling ,
    I figured out this first and then we would sext everyday and time and it was good , as it was intimate and it made us feel like a couple like we were beyond this world 😉😉😉
    Which was nice ,
    But it's really sweet how even though you are in a long distances and you love her to stay with her it is the most important choice
    • #1
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    (Original post by Tootles)
    Yes.

    You don't have a right to anything; being in a relationship is a privelage. If she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't want to do it. You have to either respect that, or let her go.

    And guess what? It's not important. People are far further away than you and she, and they cope. I'm in a long-distance relationship, and have been for over two years - she she doesn't like the idea of phone-sex (or sexting either, for that matter), though she's said she'll try to work up the courage to give it a shot some time. We get to see one another anywhere between once a week and once a month, depending on money and her work timetable, and we just do our best to make it count.

    Basically, don't make a thing about it. Probably it doesn't do anything for her, in which case what's the point in doing it? You might as well polish the pipes on your own.
    so does that mean she doesnt have a right to expect me to fulfill her emotional needs as her bf ( for example) if I dont want to and if im not good at it? ( not that i dont want to but im just playing devils advocate here).

    All im trying to get across is that guys are the villians of we dont do our bit as a bf in terms of emotionally and feelings wise for the girl but it is acceptable for the girl to not do her part in a relationship because its her choice?*
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    Well, how long will this be an ldr? Is this now permanent as you have graduated? What is the distance between you? Your gf is
    clearly telling you she doesn't like the phone sex. Respect that. If you can get together every few weeks or so then respect her
    wishes and get together and be together at those times. If the distance is such that you can't get together fairly regularly then
    perhaps you should reconsider staying in this relationship. She is telling you she doesn't feel comfortable with phone sex and you
    feel you have a physical need so if you can't get together regularly either one of you should move or reconsider the relationship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so does that mean she doesnt have a right to expect me to fulfill her emotional needs as her bf ( for example) if I dont want to and if im not good at it? ( not that i dont want to but im just playing devils advocate here).

    All im trying to get across is that guys are the villians of we dont do our bit as a bf in terms of emotionally and feelings wise for the girl but it is acceptable for the girl to not do her part in a relationship because its her choice?*
    Emotional needs are more important than sex.
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    I'm in LDR too, I would find is very awkward.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just needed some advice really,


    been a relationship with my gf for nearly 6 months now. Started off as in the same city till 2 months ago when I moved home after graduation. Its a bit hard to see each other as much as we used to do so we havent see each other for a month and most probably wont be able to meet up till Aug due to circumstances.

    Although we have slept together and I was her first. and believe me when were together we have the most amazing time and satisfy each other a lot. However we did have worries as to how we would do a LDR ( although i had done one previously for 2.5 years)*

    Now obv being in a LDR, intimacy is important and we have gone down the route of sexting which she is ok with on whatsapp, but when it comes down to talking and doing it on the phone she said shes awkward and cant do it. Obv i am sympathetic and can give it time but is it unreasonable on my part to expect it in the first place? I have been in a LDR before and I think it is very important for a couple to be intimate over the phone as that is the ONLY option till you actually meet and that way you can still connect and feel like a couple.

    Now people will comment and say 'oh you cant force her and etc and its not important if you dont have phone sex' *but take the situation for example if the*girl says shes got a needy personality in terms of she wants constant reassurance that the bf loves her and she is always his priority. If we think about it if that is something that is expected from a guy as he is supposed to make his girl feel special ( even though he may not be good that stuff) so why cant a girl do something to make her guy feel good ( even if shes not good) and giving up without trying?

    Do believe me i would want phone sex as a last resort as well but I think when you have no other options why give up the chance to be intimate with your other half in any way possible. i do love her thats why i do desperately with her.

    Would be good to hear thoughts ( and less personal attacks thanks)*
    Tried Skype? Camsex is just as hot, much better than on phone where only voices are involved. Plus you can talk sexually like you're there try that

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by SMEGGGY)
    Tried Skype? Camsex is just as hot, much better than on phone where only voices are involved. Plus you can talk sexually like you're there try that

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Shes not comfortable with that either unfortunately
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    phone sex is fun i likey
 
 
 
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