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Fear of failure...What are you afraid of? Watch

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    I have a massive fear of failure and it is something I have struggled with ever since I was a child. Its not so much that I am competitive with others but I fear failing to do what I hope to have and achieve. Being the eldest I have always had the responsibility of looking out for my younger siblings and they have medical conditions that demand constant care. On top of this my parents are going through their own issues of which they discuss with me and so my head is filled with petty he said/she said stuff. Then I had heaps of homework and endless deadlines to meet as well as revising for my final A level exams. I do not have a strong financial security, which is made worse by the amount of loans I have to take out to survive in uni. I fear failing to be a good sister, a good daughter, being financially insecure, helpless and unable to help others with my chosen career. I fear failing my a levels. Ultimately I fear failing to live a life that I am happy to live.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a massive fear of failure and it is something I have struggled with ever since I was a child. Its not so much that I am competitive with others but I fear failing to do what I hope to have and achieve. Being the eldest I have always had the responsibility of looking out for my younger siblings and they have medical conditions that demand constant care. On top of this my parents are going through their own issues of which they discuss with me and so my head is filled with petty he said/she said stuff. Then I had heaps of homework and endless deadlines to meet as well as revising for my final A level exams. I do not have a strong financial security, which is made worse by the amount of loans I have to take out to survive in uni. I fear failing to be a good sister, a good daughter, being financially insecure, helpless and unable to help others with my chosen career. I fear failing my a levels. Ultimately I fear failing to live a life that I am happy to live.
    I sounds like you are going through a lot at the moment. You talk about the support you are providing to your parents and your siblings but is there anyone who is looking out for you? When you say that you are fearful do you also feel physically anxious about the future and what it might hold? There are some good online guides which you can work your way through which look at ways to cope with anxiety if there is and I would be happy to link you to a few options.

    In terms of what I am afraid of I think probably the biggest thing that I worry about is that something is going to happen to me. My mum was unwell for most of my childhood and then died when I was in my early 20's and I worry that something similar will happen to me and that I won't be there for my son in the way that I want to be. Everyone has things that they are worried about but if those fears are becoming all consuming that is when it is time to look for some help.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a massive fear of failure and it is something I have struggled with ever since I was a child. Its not so much that I am competitive with others but I fear failing to do what I hope to have and achieve. Being the eldest I have always had the responsibility of looking out for my younger siblings and they have medical conditions that demand constant care. On top of this my parents are going through their own issues of which they discuss with me and so my head is filled with petty he said/she said stuff. Then I had heaps of homework and endless deadlines to meet as well as revising for my final A level exams. I do not have a strong financial security, which is made worse by the amount of loans I have to take out to survive in uni. I fear failing to be a good sister, a good daughter, being financially insecure, helpless and unable to help others with my chosen career. I fear failing my a levels. Ultimately I fear failing to live a life that I am happy to live.
    i am literally a mother of 3 kids! that how my mum treats me and both of my parents want me to get the best grades (A*s) and do medical and i failed to do that, so my parents keep telling my brothers that your sister couldn't do this, she failed blah blah blah... take her as an example of failing and do well in your exams!!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a massive fear of failure and it is something I have struggled with ever since I was a child. Its not so much that I am competitive with others but I fear failing to do what I hope to have and achieve. Being the eldest I have always had the responsibility of looking out for my younger siblings and they have medical conditions that demand constant care. On top of this my parents are going through their own issues of which they discuss with me and so my head is filled with petty he said/she said stuff. Then I had heaps of homework and endless deadlines to meet as well as revising for my final A level exams. I do not have a strong financial security, which is made worse by the amount of loans I have to take out to survive in uni. I fear failing to be a good sister, a good daughter, being financially insecure, helpless and unable to help others with my chosen career. I fear failing my a levels. Ultimately I fear failing to live a life that I am happy to live.
    You should read a book called "Mindset" (by Carol Dweck). It is very eye opening. It gets a bit repetitive but the key point is that there's 2 mindsets: one where you think your traits are fixed (fixed mindset), and one where you think they can grow and develop (growth mindset). In the fixed mindset, if you fail a test you think it shows, that your fixed iq is low. That makes you fear failure and consequently avoid situations in which you might not succeed which leads to you not fulfilling your potential. In the growth mindset, because you believe that you can become more intelligent, you don't think of failure as proof that you are stupid, but a chance to become cleverer. So, you are prepared to take risks and failure no longer upsets you so much. This diagram summarises it nicely:



    Here's the book:

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/...?ie=UTF8&psc=1
 
 
 
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