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    I'm on summer break from uni after having finished first year. I keep feeling so down lately as all my old school friends are all meeting up with their uni friends now over the summer/going on holiday with them, and I'm seeing it all over social media. The reason it's making me sad is because I feel like I never got the chance to get close to enough people to do things like this. I feel like it would be useful to hear other people's experiences/advice to help me look at my coming years positively.
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    Joins societies and make more of an effort to do things in the second year. If you get enough interest form a society and the SU will even give you some money for it.
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    (Original post by bobo873)
    I'm on summer break from uni after having finished first year. I keep feeling so down lately as all my old school friends, and people I met at uni (but wasn't super close with) are all meeting up with their uni friends now over the summer/going on holiday with them, and I'm seeing it all over social media. The reason it's making me sad is because I feel like I never got the chance to get close to enough people to do things like this. Everyone formed a "friendship group" at uni, usually a group from their halls, who they can do things like this with either at uni or during the holidays, but this was harder for me as I was in a tiny flat and it's hard to make plans with such few people as there's always people who can't make it, so it would literally end up being maybe just 2 people. Whilst my flat did manage, together, to make loads of other friends e.g. people on other floors in halls, we were always just seen as their 'acquaintances' who they'd say hi to on a night out if they bumped into them, rather than in their direct group who you'd invite to pres and stuff. One thing a home friend told me which made me feel a bit better was that her group at uni was formed from random people from different halls, and started off from her being friends with one person from her course who introduced her to his friend, and her introducing him to one of her friends. I feel like it would be useful to hear other people's experiences/advice to help me look at my coming years positively.
    Oh, your experience just sounds so miserable and lonely. I know someone who was in your position and didn't make any friends and fell into depression for two years before leaving the uni.

    Sometimes it just could be the uni itself. Many students leave either because a) uni life isn't for them, b) they don't like their course and/or c) they haven't made any friends. All this is fine. If it's just C for you, then I would probably say stick it out for one more year. A lot of people say they didn't mean their close/best friends until 2nd year anyway.

    I met my best mate at uni and I'll tell you a little anecdote. At my first uni, we had a whole floor full of 18 people with 2 kitchens. There was clearly a divide. I was with one kitchen and they were like great people. Until we had a major fallen out. I wasn't too disappointed as I already made friends with other people so just went out with them. But whilst I was friends with those flatmates, there was this dude who came over to the other kitchen from another accommodation because his was crap. I used to go to the other kitchen to use their instant hot water and some times he used to be in there for pres. I'd just ignore him every time he got in my way cause he was usually drunk. Then one day I came in and he approached me saying "Do you not like me/want to get to know me" (he wanted to be my friend cause he heard from the other flatmates of me being fun when drunk and cool). I was like "erm i dont want to be friends with you" and he got really offended etc. Next week he tried to speak to me again and i decided to go out with that side of the flat. To my surprise he was great fun. We always parted together. Then he invited me to his accommodation and met his pre-friends too.
    Anyway, a few months later, we were inseparable in terms of pres. We didn't hang out outside of clubbing n stuff. But came to the summer after 1st yr and we spent so much time in summer just going round his home (lives 20 mins away from me). And even though I left that uni because of the course, a year later, we are such best mates, I know his home friends, I know his family and he too for mine.

    So the moral of the story is that, you can find friendship in the most strangest of ways. Don't give up and just random stuff like what happened to me will happen to you too. I believe certain people come into your life for a reason and you'll meet your friends eventually. I do think 2nd year will be harder to do that, but if you have Facebook, try and set up a group or your course if there isn't one. If there is one, make yourself known and when it comes to like coursework and stuff ask if anyone wants to form a study group and etc. Or become subject rep for your subject. It will make you well known in your course and this would make it easier to approach your peers and form bonds. I think most societies have such a cliquey feelings to them and don't like that.

    But, I 100% guarantee, long-lasting friendships don't happen over night. What you see on your social media are superficial friendships. I know so many people that went on holiday with their uni friends. A year down the line, they don't speak and etc.

    Friendships are like any other relationships they need to time to develop and it needs maintenance to uphold. Also, if you want, you could try get a part time job at the uni or a pub or something. Getting a part-time job opens up some friends (some times).

    It's not over just yet. You have to find these things and keep up with them!
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    (Original post by bobo873)
    I'm on summer break from uni after having finished first year. I keep feeling so down lately as all my old school friends, and people I met at uni (but wasn't super close with) are all meeting up with their uni friends now over the summer/going on holiday with them, and I'm seeing it all over social media. The reason it's making me sad is because I feel like I never got the chance to get close to enough people to do things like this. Everyone formed a "friendship group" at uni, usually a group from their halls, who they can do things like this with either at uni or during the holidays, but this was harder for me as I was in a tiny flat and it's hard to make plans with such few people as there's always people who can't make it, so it would literally end up being maybe just 2 people. Whilst my flat did manage, together, to make loads of other friends e.g. people on other floors in halls, we were always just seen as their 'acquaintances' who they'd say hi to on a night out if they bumped into them, rather than in their direct group who you'd invite to pres and stuff. One thing a home friend told me which made me feel a bit better was that her group at uni was formed from random people from different halls, and started off from her being friends with one person from her course who introduced her to his friend, and her introducing him to one of her friends. I feel like it would be useful to hear other people's experiences/advice to help me look at my coming years positively.
    To be honest, it isn't an uncommon feeling to have. Most first years have a 'deflation' feeling after the first year during summer because you've just had this whole new experience compact into one year and it's came around and happened so quickly you're left at the end of it feeling pretty good - but then everybody has to go home and you realise how far people live. Some people work and have the money to travel, others drive and others don't live to far apart to actually see each other - therefore, it's easier for some people to meet up. For others - they don't see their uni friends until second year - it all just depends. It sounds like you didn't push yourself enough during first year to make the most of outreaching to people. People on your course are a good start - they share the same passion as you as they are studying the same course and you can always invite them for drinks after lecture or a study session. People you are living with are easy - like you said, you did make friends with them but not as close as you would have liked. Rule number one (from personal experience) is that it doesn't matter if it's a small group going out or a large one - go out, you'll still make new friends along the way. Join societies with interests that you share and you'll find yourself soon making friends. It isn't too late to make friends, wait until you start second year and you'll realise friendship groups shift and what not! Don't let it dishearten you! Chin up

    You aren't missing out on the university experience, you are where a lot of people are!

    Good luck
 
 
 
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